Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Cross-Eyed Dog

Volume 10, Issue 36 Friday, September 05, 2008

Hello All,

Regarding my “Taylor” stories, Dinah Sue writes: “I enjoy reading your Bug's Beat even though I always seem to be the bad child in your stories. Just maybe you could let me not be the bad girl once.” Well, I have to admit that Dinah Sue is often the protagonist in many of my childhood stories. So I decided to share one where she wasn’t the “bad child”. ... But I couldn’t come up with one so I’m sharing this story instead.
~
Several of my uncles were union steel workers and, as such, they sometimes found themselves between jobs. On one occasion, while the family was gathered at Miss Mary’s home, Uncle _____ (name with held to protect the guilty) commented that he didn’t know how he was going to feed his wife and kids since he didn’t have any money coming in. After he’d left, grandmother got the rest of the kids together and told them; “None of us are going hungry. Y’all get some money together and take it to ____.”
So my mother and the other kids pooled their resources and took the money down to _____’s house. When he realized why they were there, he was sincerely moved and began to weep. He said; “You don’t know what this means to us. I was afraid I was going to have to write a check.”
~
Once any money my uncles made was deposited into the bank, it usually didn’t come out again.
~~~~~
AR-1 wasn’t deployed to Gustav but was notified to respond into Louisiana Thursday evening. After four hours of preparation, the order came from Washington to stand down. I’m beginning to understand the old “Hurry Up and Wait” adage.
~~~~~
Jimmy and Vanessa evacuated Saturday evening and spent the week with us and Jimmy’s mom. It was great to have them and even greater to spend the week with our youngest grandsons. Jimmy returned to Mandeville Thursday and called back the news that power was back on and they had running water. So, Vanessa and the boys headed south at noon today.
Annette and I already miss them.
~~~~~
Our friends report that there is almost no vehicle fuel available below Alexandria, LA and much of Baton Rouge remains without power. “There was not much happening in N.O., and that's all the MSM was interested in.” Robert reports: “33% of Ascension parish was powered up, but some of the rural folks had been given dates of mid October for having power restored. Well, there is no levee or superdome in Baton Rouge so CNN and NBC have moved on. Just thought I would share this with you since the media has no interest in it.”
~
Another of our readers reports: “Our biggest problem is power. Some lights are coming on, but a big frustration is that ... our local utility is projecting up to 4 weeks or longer to restore power to some parts of the city (this is the city, not isolated farms). I've got a generator and started with about 20 gallons of gasoline, but need to resupply - from somewhere? Gasoline is almost unavailable. A heads-up to those who, like me, thought I could just siphon from my 25-gallon truck tank. Newer vehicles have some sort of screen in the fuel line to prevent siphoning. Siphon prevention is usually a good idea, but not this week!
One recommendation an a/c man gave me last year was to buy a little $100 window unit to keep one room cool if your main A/C unit goes out 'til he can get to you (my A/C failed on a day it reached 103F, and he was swamped). Actually I got one at Lowe's for $70 at fall close-out. Worth its weight in gold today! 5,500 BTU doesn't load up the generator too badly.
Another heads-up is communication during the storm. For those poor folks who "bundled" with ... cable, they have no phones, Internet or television. For those with ATT land lines and DSL, they've got phone service and, if they can run a generator, they've got Internet service. That's what I'm using now from a neighbor's house. In an emergency, I'd rate ...Cable as "worthless". ATT seems to have it together. I've been pleasantly surprised that ATT Wireless has provided good cell phone service. This is the first time that they've impressed me! I've had a good signal throughout.”
~
Hummm ... I’m thinking about getting a Cable phone. I wonder how our local cable would do in a mass power failure situation.
~~~~~
Speaking of Gustav, we had a meeting in Ferndale Thursday and were surprised to see the flooding and wind damage between Prescott and Ferndale. The conference center had just gotten power back on a few hours before our meeting started. Several of the wealthier participants had spent the night in Little Rock instead of driving up in the predawn hours and they related that power in Little Rock hotels had only been restored at 5 pm the night before.
Today, I had to return to Little Rock for a Doctor’s meeting and the nurse related that they didn’t expect power to be back on in her neighborhood for several more days.
~~~~~
Both days I went to Little Rock this week, I-30 was loaded with National Guard Convoys. They were headed south west.
~~~~~
Dr. Mendelsholm said that I was the only patient he was aware of that had been holding steady this long. So, he’s decided to try an experiment to cut my medication by 50% and see what happens. We’ll keep you posted.
~~~~~
Annette is still working on her fourth appeal for SS Disability. Thanks to help from Kathy Lee, Mike Ross’s office, Dr. Rushing and Dr. Murphy we have high hopes for this latest try.
~~~~~
Meanwhile, in an effort to improve our health, we started another semester with the “Water Nazi”. Our first class on Tuesday was full of college age kids. I figure most of them will drop out when they realize how hard the exercises are.
~~~~~
The Orlando Sentinel reported on a leaked NASA email, indicating that NASA is looking at options to extend the Shuttle program. [http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/space/orl-nasa2908aug30,0,3449221.story] The fighting between Russia and Georgia has put a strain on plans to rely on Russian boosters until the Shuttle's replacement flies in 2015. Yet extending the Shuttle's life is no sure thing. According to a former NASA program manager, "We started shutting down the shuttle four years ago. That horse has left the barn." And NASA Administrator Michael Griffin has told Congress that if the Shuttle fleet were to fly two missions a year until 2015, "the risk would be about one in 12 that we would lose another crew. That's a high risk... [one] I would not choose to accept on behalf of our astronauts." And then there's the matter of finding the $4 billion a year it would take to keep the fleet operational. The Sentinel mentions that John McCain has called for additional Shuttle flights, but doesn't mention that Barack Obama has made the same point, as the BBC reports.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] when you search the Internet!
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - Flight Attendant Saves the Day - - http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/heroism/stories/he_080905_flightattendant.html
~~~~~
The Lighthouse Church - - http://thelighthousechurch.publishpath.com/
~~~~~
Staff Sgt. Nick Bradley’s address at Walter Reed Medical Center, courtesy of his parents:
Bradley, Staff, Sgt. Nick B
WD 57 RM 41
6900 Georgia Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20307
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - James D. Hamill - - Hometown: Wilmington, DE - - Awarded: Bronze Star

Then-Petty Officer James Hamill, United States Navy, was trained as a command photographer, but in a flash, his mettle was tested, with 100 lives in the balance.

Working as a mass communications specialist, Hamill was serving with a Provincial Reconstruction Team in Khost, Afghanistan. On February 20, 2007, Hamill was assigned to document a momentous occasion, the opening of the Khost Provincial Hospital Emergency Room – a sign of progress in this dangerous province. Rumors and spotty intelligence came before the ceremony that warned of a possible suicide attack, but those involved with the project refused to back down and cancel the event. In the dense urban sprawl of Khost anything could happen, and Hamill’s PRT considered goodwill events like this the key to an effective counterinsurgency.

Unbeknownst to the attendees at the event, including provincial officials, cabinet members, and national government figures, a suicide bomber had slipped through the Afghan police’s outer security perimeter – dressed as a doctor – and was approaching the gathering. One vigilant American soldier became suspicious of the supposed doctor who was approaching the ceremony and stopped him. The soldier’s instincts were right as he keenly spotted the explosive vest, and tackled the marauding bomber.

As the two wrestled on the ground, the alarm was sounded, and Hamill immediately dropped his camera, raised his rifle, and moved to act as the last defense for the assembly of citizens and VIPs. The bomber freed himself and charged forward, hoping to unleash his horrible weapon, but Hamill stood his ground. With his weapon raised, he opened fire less than ten feet away from the imposter. The bomber was repeatedly hit, fell to the ground, and triggered his lethal package.

The ferocious blast – stopped only by the keen eye of one sergeant and Hamill’s unwavering determination – injured him and six other Americans, while sparing the hundred at the gathering of any casualties. Ignoring the shrapnel wounds to his abdomen, Hamill aided in performing life-saving first aid on the injured American soldiers who were worse off than him and ensured the area was secure in case of a follow-up attack.

The Major General of the 82nd Airborne at the time exclaimed that Hamill "prevented the bomber from inflicting catastrophic casualties," and praised his "extraordinary heroism" and "total dedication to duty." For his acts that day, he was awarded the Purple Heart for his wounds and the Bronze Star Medal with Valor for standing his ground against the suicide bomber.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings from Afghanistan:

I am currently in the field with British soldiers. This email was written in advance; I have no email contact at this time. Please click [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/] for an important update regarding "Moment of Truth in Iraq."
Please stand by for some very interesting reports from southern Afghanistan. I am on operations with British soldiers. These operations are as important as they are fascinating as they are dangerous. Morale is high among British soldiers. Dispatches are in the making.
~
03 Sept 08
0910 est
Michael has no internet but called on the sat phone.
British 2 Para in Helmand province have been repeatedly and successfully closing with and engaging the Taliban. In ongoing operations today a number of British paratroopers lured Taliban into an attack. British forces responded with machine guns, small arms, shoulder fired rockets, mortars, and a 500 lb bomb. Locals say "Many Taliban dead."
More Later....

V/R, Your correspondent,
Michael

Http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php
~~~~~
Last week we watched [Ratings are my own]:
Waitress (2007) [7.5] Starring Keri Russell ... Nathan Fillion ... Cheryl Hines
I Could Never Be Your Woman (2007) [6] Starring Michelle Pfeiffer ... Paul Rudd
Saving Sarah Cain (2007) [6.5] Starring Lisa Pepper ... Abigail Mason ... Soren Fulton
~~~~~
Last week we read; First daughter / Eric Van Lustbader, The assassin / Stephen Coonts, and Blue heaven / by C.J. Box.
We’re currently reading; Fidelity / Thomas Perry.
We intend to read; The way of the world : a story of truth and hope in an age of extremism / Ron Suskind.
We recommend: Jungle rules : a true story of Marine justice in Vietnam / Charles W. Henderson.
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.
com/BugsBleat/shelf?ec=7D790D174EFS18012
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include shots of two of our favorite evacuees, National Guard Convoys, and empty WalMart food shelves in South Louisiana.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat2q08.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see more photos of April’s train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Dr. Pat Antoon’s Address:
Pat Antoon 06669-010
Federal Prison Camp
P.O. Box 9300
Texarkana, TX 75505
Be sure and keep him in your prayers.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - - Creamy Spicy Corn Chowder with Chicken Recipe courtesy Angie Ketterman

2 slices bacon, sliced in 1-inch strips
1 medium yellow onion, diced
1 jalapeno, seeded and diced
1 russet potato, diced
1 small red pepper, diced
3 cups frozen corn kernels, thawed
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
2 cups milk
3 cups chicken broth
2 cups shredded rotisserie cooked chicken
Fresh cilantro leaves, for garnish
1 lime, cut into wedges

In a large saucepot over medium heat cook bacon until crispy and all fat has rendered out. Remove with a slotted spoon to a paper towel lined plate. Drain off all but 1 tablespoon fat, add onion, jalapeno, potato, red pepper, corn, salt and pepper and saute for about 5 minutes. Add thyme.
In a blender, puree half the mixture and add back to the pan. Add milk, chicken broth, and chicken and let simmer for about 5 minutes.

Transfer to serving bowls. Garnish each bowl with cooked bacon, fresh cilantro and a lime wedge.

Prep Time: 20
CookTime: 20
Yield: 6 servings

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/cda/recipe_print/0,1946,FOOD_9936_179515_PRINT-RECIPE-FULL-PAGE,00.html

Copyright © 2006 Television Food Network, G.P., All Rights Reserved.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
Adding Insult to Injury
By Chuck Colson
9/5/2008
Africa, AIDS, and Victim-Blaming

Approximately 30 million people in sub-Saharan Africa are thought to be infected with the HIV virus. Unlike the West, from the start, HIV/AIDS in Africa has ravaged the non-drug-using heterosexual population. Let me put it this way: People whose Western counterparts are not at risk for HIV/AIDS have been the epidemic’s principal victims in Africa. Why?

This has prompted many people to blame the victims in ways that played on the worst racial stereotypes and prejudices: Researchers and experts argued that “Africans were simply incapable of being anything but promiscuous where sex was concerned.”

They were wrong: The AIDS epidemic in Africa was not because of a unique African promiscuity. In some ways, it is the product of efforts to reduce the number of Africans.

In his book Population Control: Real Costs, Illusory Benefits, Steven Mosher tells readers about the work of researchers David Gisselquist and Stephen Potterat. Prior to their work, it had been assumed that the AIDS epidemic had been spread by heterosexual sex.

Assumed because there was little evidence that this was the case. But, as Mosher points out, it was an assumption that suited the needs of various influential parties: most obviously, AIDS activists.

Another such group was population controllers who believed that Africa was “overpopulated.” A heterosexually spread epidemic would allow them to flood the continent with condoms. While Africans might not have used them for birth control, surely they would use them to prevent the spread of a potentially lethal virus!

Gisselquist and Potterat put the heterosexual transmission assumption to the test and found it wanting. Their peer-reviewed analysis of 22 studies found that instead of 90 percent of African AIDS cases being the result of sexual transmission, as was assumed, the real number was 25 to 35 percent. By way of comparison, the U.S. percentage is well over 50.

According to the researchers, the evidence suggested a “large majority of HIV infections in non-promiscuous adults.” Far from being the victims of their own promiscuity, half of all African AIDS victims were involved in monogamous relationships.

So, if promiscuity is not driving the epidemic in Africa, what is? Substandard medical care—specifically, dirty needles. Almost uniquely, in Africa the more “health care” a person receives, the greater her chances of being infected.

That is because the sanitary conditions we take for granted do not exist in poor African countries. There, syringes and surgical instruments are often re-used without proper sterilization. The needles used to administer vaccine can also transmit AIDS.

It is not only vaccination. The World Health Organization has acknowledged that needles used to administer contraceptives like Depo-Provera are often re-used. Their likely connection to the spread of HIV was tacitly confirmed by their replacement in 2002 by needles that could be used only once.

While it is impossible to know how many women were infected this way, it is clear that population-control efforts, inadvertently maybe, contributed to the spread of the virus in Africa.

But what was not inadvertent was the libeling of an entire continent by outsiders with agendas. People who did or should have known the truth went along with a lie, adding insult to a most grievous injury.

This is part two in a three-part series.

Steven Mosher, Population Control: Real Costs, Illusory Benefits (Transaction Publishers, 2008).

Anne Morse, “Be Fruitful and Multiply—Unless You’re African,” The Point, 17 March 2008.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 080902, “Cruel to Be ‘Kind’: Population Control and Human Dignity.”

“Trends in HIV/AIDS Diagnoses among Men Who Have Sex with Men—33 States, 2001-2006,” CDC, 27 June 2008.

Colin Mason, “The Cost of Control: Steve Mosher’s Book Explodes the Myth of Overpopulation,” Catholic Exchange, 15 May 2008.

James Randerson, “WHO Accused of Huge HIV Blunder,” New Scientist, 3 December 2003.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 040706, “The Missing Factor: ‘The Fidelity Fix’.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 080218, “If It Ain’t Broke . . . : Hijacking AIDS Relief.”

Catherina Hurlburt, “More on AIDS in Africa,” The Point, 30 June 2008.

© 2008 Prison Fellowship - - http://www.breakpoint.org/
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
chthonic: dwelling in or under the earth; also, pertaining to the underworld.
redress: to set right.
fop: a man who is vain about his dress and appearance.
gubernatorial: of or pertaining to a governor.
admonition: gentle or friendly reproof; friendly warning.
comestible: suitable to be eaten.
glower: to stare angrily or with a scowl.
immolate: to kill or destroy, often by fire.
bevy: a group; an assembly.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
Never underestimate the power of idiots in large groups. - - Omega

America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to change the system from within, yet too early to shoot the bastards. - - Claire Wolfe

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." - - George Orwell

"The height of cleverness is being able to conceal it." - Frantois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld

"It is hard to believe a man is telling you the truth when you know you would lie if you were in his place." - H. L. Mencken

"The institution of the family is decisive in determining not only if a person has the capacity to love another individual but in the larger social sense whether he is capable of loving his fellow men collectively. The whole of society rests on this foundation for stability, understanding and social peace." - Daniel Patrick Moynihan

"This wine is too good for toast-drinking, my dear. You don't want to mix emotions up with a wine like that. You lose the taste." - Ernest Hemingway

"The cocks may crow, but it's the hen that lays the egg." - Margaret Thatcher

"True patriotism sometimes requires of men to act exactly contrary, at one period, to that which it does at another, and the motive which impels them - the desire to do right - is precisely the same." - Robert Edward Lee
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

National Days of Prayer and Remembrance, Sept. 5th through 7th, 2008
Christianity Gaining Ground and Hearts in Iran
Brazilian Homeschoolers Score Surprise Victory...
Anonymous Lottery Winner Donates $3 Million Winnings to Church...
McCain's VP Pick Sarah Palin: a Governor, Wife and Mother, and a Champion for Life

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426
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GCF: Cross-Eyed Dog

Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to: JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------------

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.

"My dog is cross-eyed," the man says. "Is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."

So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes and ears and then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What?" The man was astonished. "Why? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No," said the vet, "because he's really heavy!"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Finding Tea

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Bill) -Tom


My poor wife was sick in bed with the flu. Being a dutiful husband, I offered to fix her some of her favorite herbal tea. I couldn't find the tea though and went back upstairs to ask where it was.

She said, "I don't know how it could be any easier to see. It's in the pantry, third shelf down, in a cocoa tin marked 'matches'."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Military Housing

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Howard) -Tom
------------------------------------------------

Told to treat his military housing as he would if he owned it, the Navy Chief quickly put up a sign in the front yard: "For Sale."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: The Band Played On

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Howard) -Tom
------------------------------------------------

A band performing at an outdoor concert kept playing although the crowd had dwindled down to one man. Finally, the tired musicians told the man that if he left, they could all go home.

"It's up to you," he answered. "I'm just waiting to put away all those folding chairs."
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | tellswor@kcbx.net | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor | _) )
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why is it that rain drops \ /
\ _/ but snow falls? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / All those who believe in \ /
\ _/ telekinesis, raise my hand. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / You DO know what a \ /
\ _/ leading question is, don't you? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / This sentence no verb. \ /
\ _/ \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@kcbx.net |
| http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor |
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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Awareness Test

Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.

En route, with the siren blaring, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?"

The old man slowly looked up at him and then gazed out the ambulance window.

"Oh," he replied, "I'd say about 50, maybe 55."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Proper Job Placement

/* Admin note: Tuesday's funny was written by W. Bruce Cameron @ http://wbrucecameron.com/ . Thanks to Audrey A. Maslim for being the first to point this out. */

Methods from Human Resources...

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after six hours.
4. Then analyze the situation.
a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations and they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Management.
k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
m. Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Congress.

Received from Eileen.

(-:][:-)

A Dog Named Mace

There was once a handyman who had a dog named Mace. Mace was a great dog except he had one weird habit: he liked to eat grass -- not just a little bit, but in quantities that would make a lawnmower blush. And nothing, it seemed, could cure him of it. One day, the handyman lost his wrench in the tall grass while he was working outside. He looked and looked, but it was nowhere to be found.

As it was getting dark, he gave up for the night and decided to look the next morning. When he awoke, he went outside and saw that his dog had eaten all the grass in the area, around where he had been working, and his wrench now lay in plain sight, glinting in the sun.

Going out to get his wrench, he called the dog over to him and said, "A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me."

Received from Sara Gladen.

(-:][:-)

A Week at the Gym

For my birthday this year my wife purchased me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. My wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was to get started.

They suggested I keep an "exercise diary" to chart my progress.

Day 1. Started the morning at 6:00 AM. Tough to get up, but worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya was waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about ten points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics class. Tanya was very encouraging as I did my sit ups, though my gut was already aching a little from holding it in the whole time I was talking to her. This is going to be GREAT.

Day 2. Took a whole pot of coffee to get me out the door, but I made it. Tanya had me lie on my back and push this heavy iron bar up into the air. Then she put weights on it, for heaven's sake! Legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made it the full mile. Her smile made it all worthwhile. Muscles ALL feel GREAT.

Day 3. The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the tooth brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I am certain that I have developed a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer. I parked on top of a Volkswagen. Tanya was a little impatient with me and said my screaming was bothering the other club members. The treadmill hurt my chest so I did the stair "monster." Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by the invention of elevators? Tanya told me regular exercise would make me live longer. I can't imagine anything worse.

Day 4. Tanya was waiting for me with her vampire teeth in a full snarl. I can't help it if I was half an hour late, it took me that long just to tie my shoes. She wanted me to lift dumbbells. Not a chance, Tanya. The word "dumb" must be in there for a reason. I hid in the men's room until she sent Lars looking for me. As punishment she made me try the rowing machine. It sank.

Day 5. I hate Tanya more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. If there was any part of my body not in extreme pain I would hit her with it. She thought it would be a good idea to work on my triceps. Well I have news for you Tanya - I don't have triceps. And if you don't want dents in the floor don't hand me any barbells. I refuse to accept responsibility for the damage, YOU went to sadist school, YOU are to blame. The treadmill flung me back into a science teacher, which hurt like crazy. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like a music teacher, or social studies?

Day 6. Got Tanya's message on my answering machine, wondering where I am. I lacked the strength to use the TV remote so I watched eleven straight hours of the weather channel.

Day 7. Well, that's the week. Thank goodness that's over. Maybe next time my wife will give me something a little more fun, like a gift certificate for a root canal.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Noise Under the Floor

My bathroom is in the back of the house and it's hard to hear when anyone is on the property.

One morning while getting ready for work, and thinking I was the only one at home, I kept hearing something crawl around under my bathroom floor. Thinking that somehow the neighbor's cat had gotten under the house, I began stomping the floor hard and shouting at the top of my lungs, "Get out of there!" and "Stop that!" Finally, the moving stopped so I finished what I was doing and left for work.

When I returned home that evening, I found a note that the exterminators had been there for their annual inspection. I turned to my husband and said, "Honey, do the exterminators crawl around under the house?"

He said, "Sure, why?"

That's when I burst out laughing. It took me several minutes to tell my husband what I had done. He cracked up at the thought of me standing in the bathroom stomping and shouting, and he said, "It's a good thing he didn't answer you back or you would have keeled over dead!"

Received from Deb Jackson, Holland, MO.

(-:][:-)

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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/madness/2008/08/20/some-friendly-advice-for-obama/ - - Some Friendly Advice For Obama
The longer this presidential campaign goes on, the more worried I become. And oddly enough, it’s Barack Obama’s much touted communication skills that concern me the most.

Because as good as Obama is at speechifying, that’s how poor he is when he’s responding to questions. It’s the difference between hearing the insightful results of his thought process … and being forced to watch him think.

And that leads me to my latest verse:

Some Friendly Advice For Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, your speeches are great,
Like a confident, smart Head of State.
But when questioned you freeze
And appear ill at ease.
Loosen up or you’ll lose — no debate!

And when queried you need to be clear.
Don’t meander and stutter, you hear?
Cuz you come off evasive
And quite unpersuasive,
While John McCain’s lies sound sincere.

I’ll admit I was never a fan,
And I’m sick of the phrase “Yes we can.”
But I’m begging you, hide
Your pontificate-side,
Else you’ll lose to a confidence man.

http://www.madkane.com
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Taxes 101

Obama's Plan for "Change" is the Robin Hood Plan - take from the rich and give to the poor; until suddenly: there is no rich to take from; then what? - the "goverment " will be up Stuff Creek without a paddle!
Now, I can finally understand the tax system in the US.
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay. And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"
"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

Thanks to Buzzy
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I know many of you are very committed to participating in elections, but this is interesting anyway. I was totally unaware of this incident until I received this email. I'm afraid we take our right to vote and our status as full citizens in this country very much for granted these days. See you at the polls!

THIS IS MOVING. HOW QUICKLY WE FORGET, IF WE EVER KNEW, WHY WOMEN SHOULD VOTE.

This is the story of our Grandmothers and Great-grandmothers; they lived only 90 years ago.
Remember, it was not until 1920 that women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote.

The women were innocent and defenseless, but they were jailed nonetheless for picketing the White House, carrying signs asking for the vote.

And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of 'obstructing sidewalk traffic.'
(Lucy Burns)
They beat Lucy Burns, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging fo! r the ni ght, bleeding and gasping for air.
(Dora Lewis)
They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.

Thus unfolded the 'Night of Terror' on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to vote. For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their food--all of it colorless slop--was infested with worms.
(Alice Paul) When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.
http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/collections/suffrage/nwp/prisoners.pdf

So, refresh my memory. Some women won't vote this year because- -why, exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn't matter? It's raining?

Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO's new movie 'Iron Jawed Angels.' It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder.

All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the actual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes it was inconvenient.
My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women's history, saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped by my desk to talk about it, she looked angry. She was--with herself. 'One thought kept coming back to me as I watched that movie,' she said. 'What would those women think of the way I use, or don't use, my right to vote? All of us take it for granted now, not just younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn.' The right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her 'all over again.'
HBO released the movie on video and DVD . I wish all history, social studies and government teachers would include the movie in their curriculum I want it shown on Bunco night, too, and anywhere else women gather. I realize this isn't our usual idea of socializing, but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think a little shock therapy is in order.
It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn't make her crazy.
The doctor admonished the men: 'Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.'
We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so hard for by these very courageous women. Whether you vote democratic, republican or independent party - remember to vote.

History is being made.

Thanks to Ricky and Sarah
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ONE MINUTE EACH NIGHT

This is the scariest election we as Christians have ever faced and from the looks of the polls, the Christians aren't voting Christian values. We all need to be on our knees.
This was forwarded to me and I think it is a great idea so I am forwarding it on to you.
Do you believe we can take God at His word? Call upon His name, and then stand back and watch His wonders to behold. This scripture gives us, as Christians, ownership of this land and the ability to call upon God to heal it. I challenge you to do so. We have never been more desperate than now for God to heal our land. This election is the scariest I remember in my lifetime.
2 Chronicles 7:14 "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."
During WWII, there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every night at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England , its people and peace. This had an am azing effect as bombing stopped. There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in America . The United States of America and our citizens need prayer more than ever!!!

If you would like to participate:

Each evening at 8:00 PM Central Time, stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States, our troops, our citizens, for peace in the world, the up-coming election, that the Bible will again be the basis for the laws governing our land and that Christianity will grow in the U.S.
If you know anyone who would like to participate, please pass this along. Someone said if people really understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be speechless. Our prayers are the most powerful asset we have.
Thank You. Please pass this on to anyone who you think will want to join us.

God Bless You!

Thanks to Cecelia Congleton
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Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble?

A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well known and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test.

Answer all the questions (only 10) with what describes you best, add up all your Points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and look for your results.

Do not cheat by looking at the end of the e-mail before you are done.

1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)
b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)
c) Painting in the park (5 pts)
d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)

2. What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)
b) Alternative (1 pt.)
c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
d) Country (5 pts )
e) Pop (3 pts.)

3. What type of movies do you prefer?
a) Comedy (2 pts.)
b) Horror (1 pt.)
c) Musical (3 pts.)
d) Romance (4 pts.)
e) Documentary (5 pts.)

4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?
a) Waiter (4 pts.)
b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
c) Teacher (3 pts.)
d) Police (2 pts.)
e) Cashier (1 pt)

5 What do you do with your spare time?
a) Exercise (5 pts.)
b) Read (4 pts.)
c) Watch television (2 pts.)
d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
e) Sleep (3 pts.)

6. Which one of the following colors do you like best?
a) Yellow (1 pt.)
b) White (5 pts.)
c) Sky Blue (3 pts)
d) Dark Blue(2 pts.)
e) Red (4 pts.)

7. What do you prefer to eat?
a) Snow (3 pts.)
b) Pizza (2 pts.)
c) Sushi (1 pt.)
d) Pasta (4 pts.)
e) Salad (5 pts.)

8. What is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween(1 pt.)
b) Christmas(3 pts.)
c) New Year (2 pts.)
d) Valentine's Day(4 pts.)
e) Thanksgiving(5 pts.)

9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
a) Paris (4 pts)
b) Spain (5 pts)
c) Las Vegas (1 pt)
d) Hawaii (4 pts)
e) Hollywood (3 pts)

10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?
a) Someone Smart (5 pts.)
b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt)
d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)
e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting for! Put your character in the subject line and forward to your friends and back to the person that sent this to you.
Very interesting to see 'who' your friends are!

(10-16 points) You are Garfield : - - You are very comfortable, easy going, and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme. You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember, your happy spirit may hurt you or others.

(17-23 points) You are Snoopy: - - You are fun; you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in and you' re never out of style , you are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times

(24-28 points) You are Elmo: - - You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and you always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer. Dreaming too big could cause many conflicts in your life.

(29-35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants: - - You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never wants to lose. You never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people and you will be stress free.

(36-43 points) You are Charlie Brown: - - You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your Mom every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.

(44-50 points ) You are Dexter: - - You are smart and definitely a thinker... Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. You maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it comes. Try to do less over thinking every once in a while to spice things up a bit with spontaneity!

Thanks to Vanessa and
Constance L. Phillips
Tupperware Consultant
www.my2.tupperware.com/CLPhillips
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One of our good friends, Eddie Spalten from San Antonio , fishes at the Wildman Lodge on the Alaskan Peninsula . The lodge is owned by Butch and Kathy Wildman. The Wildmans spend their winters in Texas and their summers in Alaska . Kathy’s father and former husband served in the Alaskan legislature for around 30 years so Butch and Kathy know Alaska politics.

Eddie emailed Butch and asks Butch what the Wildmans think of Gov. Sarah Palin. Butch’s unedited email is attached below. Please read it and forward it to your friends. This is what the citizens of Alaska think of Sarah Palin!

Thanks, Gene Powell
~
Hi Eddie:

Fishing is good here at Wildman and I rarely have time for politics, but many of our friends are asking us “Who is Sarah Palin?” Of course, as Alaskans, Kathy and I are extremely proud of her. We just want to let you know that Sarah “Barracuda” Palin is a straight shooting, hard charging, get it done gal. She knows when to listen, how to analyze the facts and how to make a decision, then implement the plan. She doesn’t do a poll before jumping in with both feet like too many of the Washington types. She has little legislative experience because she has always held the EXECUTIVE position; in private life, as mayor of Anchorage ’s largest bedroom community or more recently as Governor of our State. She is a smart, attractive home grown Alaska girl with excellent moral and family values.

She can see what needs to be done and does not hesitate to get it done.

One of our State’s major problems is that its Capital is in Juneau, 500 miles from the nearest road and 800 air miles from the population base which is Anchorage, Wasilla and Fairbanks. Our legislature and most of the State government is in Juneau and they ALL behave like a bunch of freshmen in a college town. It has been this way since Statehood in 1959. When Sarah moved to Juneau , so did accountability and responsibility When the oil revenue started flown and a barrel of North Slope Crude hit $23.00, these people began spending money like drunken sailors. You can only imagine what was happenings when oil hit $100.00 a barrel, about the time Sarah took command. My wife Kathy has first-hand experience with this fiasco, as her father and also her ex-husband were Alaska Legislators who served in Juneau as Senators, Senate President, or members of the State House for a combined period spanning nearly three decades.

About the time Sarah took the HELM as Governor of Alaska, about half of the State legislature was in the pocket of big oil companies or contractors doing big projects for Native Corporations around Alaska, all funded by State oil revenue. Alaska government was nothing but a good old boys club riding the perpetual wave of prosperity. This filtered down from the legislature, through the Department of Natural Resources, Department of Labor and even spilled in to the Public Safety who are supposed to “preserve and protect”.

When Sarah walked into the Governor’s Mansion, she promptly dismissed the State Trooper detachment assigned to Governor and had her and her husband’s gun case brought in from Wasilla. Then, she got rid of the former Governor’s STATE Jet and told legislators that there were no more free rides, they would have to fly Alaska Airlines, just like her and her family if they wanted to travel. Next came the nut cutting (the Barracuda part) the heads that rolled were too numerous to name, but when Sarah finished cleaning house, a number of our legislators ended up in jail for on corruption charges, or tendered their resignations along with numerous department heads and those who have been riding the gravy train for way too long, AND THEN SHE HAD LUNCH. By the end of the day, Sarah Palin had saved the people of Alaska millions and has not yet slowed down.

She has truly brought CHANGE to Juneau . I personally know several persons in the private sector in Alaska , that hold her in high esteem. She surrounds herself with smart people, many from my hometown of Anchorage , she listens to them but makes her own decisions. Sarah Palin is a no B.S. politician. It is refreshing that there is such a thing anymore. You want to talk about CHANGE? You should see a before and after picture of the State government in Alaska . That’s CHANGE! Sarah will bring a number of things to the election. I am sure she will appeal many voters who my otherwise could have gone the other direction on election day. The conservative block will not be for Barack. We have their vote. We need what Sarah will bring, first to the election and second, what she will bring to Washington D.C. McCain has been advised well, Let’s just hope the American people can get the straight scoop on her in the weeks ahead. This is just the opinion of one Alaska Bush Pilot and Guide, who pays attention to national politics, watches the news and is deathly afraid of the direction our nation is headed. I guarantee that if Sarah gets a chance to dig her spurs into the flanks of the liberal Washington types, they will know that she is in the saddle.

Butch King
Pilot/Guide

Butch & Kathy King
Proprietors
Wildman Lake Lodge
www.wildmanlodge.com

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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Lotus Touts
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

Thankd to Anne Oldham
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.

Here are links to items posted on The Pump Handle over the past week:

http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/09/04/to-911-operator-im-only-allowed-to-tell-you-we-have-an-emergency/
To 911 operator: “I’m only allowed to tell you we have an emergency”
September 4, 2008 in Uncategorized by Celeste Monforton
Ken Ward of the Charleston Gazette has been following closely and reporting on the deadly blast on Aug 28 at the multinational Bayer CropScience’s plant in Institute, WV. His first story (here) indicated that witnesses saw a red fireball at about 10:25 pm, and that thousands of residents were told to shelter in place, and his next story reported on the plant’s rocky safety record.
...
http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/09/04/what-the-hell-its-only-a-nuclear-facility/
What the hell. It’s only a nuclear facility.
September 4, 2008 in Regulation, Safety by revere
by revere, cross-posted at Effect Measure
... wants to go full speed ahead for nuclear power (that’s a maverick’s way of dealing with climate change?) and Obama seems to feel friendly to it, too, as long as the waste disposal issue can be solved, satisfactorily (which it doesn’t seem it can be, but that’s another story). Everyone agrees that nuclear power has to be managed safely if we are going to rely on it to any extent and we are always given assurances that this is not only possible but what happens as a matter of course, no exceptions. To make sure, government plans are reviewed by independent experts. Too bad we can’t see the plans and the government doesn’t listen to the experts:
US regulators have ignored expert safety advice in an attempt to cut corners and fast track the completion of a $4 billion nuclear fuel facility currently under construction near Aiken, South Carolina.The accusation is reported in the September issue of The Chemical Engineer magazine, published by the Institution of Chemical Engineers (IChemE).
...
http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/09/02/bassinet-deaths-and-cpsc%e2%80%99s-new-power/
Bassinet Deaths and CPSC’s New Power
September 2, 2008 in Consumer Product Safety Commission by Liz Borkowski
Last month, Congress passed and the President signed major legislation strengthening the Consumer Product Safety Commission. The Washington Post’s Annys Shin described it this way:
The measure … represents the most significant expansion of the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) since it was created in 1973. It also marks a fundamental shift in the federal government’s approach to protecting consumers from dangerous products: transforming a reactive stance to a preventive one by dealing with hazards before goods reach the marketplace, including products manufactured overseas.
And just last week, the agency’s new powers proved essential for protecting children from defective bassinets that strangled two infants.
...
http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/08/28/chao-flips-us-the-bird-happy-labor-day/
Chao Flips Us the Bird. Happy Labor Day
August 28, 2008 in Confined Space @ TPH, Mining, Occupational Health & Safety, Politics, Regulation, Uncategorized by Celeste Monforton
Will someone just go and put up a sign “Proudly Screwing Workers: 2,827 Straight Days” on the Labor Department building?
Late yesterday I learned that Labor Secretary Elaine Chao, Asst. Secretary Leon Sequeira and her other political minions sent a proposed rule to the Federal Register which will change the process by which OSHA and MSHA assess workers’ risk to health-harming contaminants.
The proposed rule confirms Chao’s desire to make it more cumbersome and time-consuming for OSHA and MSHA to issue health-protective standards. It mandates, for example, that the agencies issue an advanced notice of proposed rulemaking for every health standard—a COMPLETELY unnecesasry step when the hazard is well-known and documented in the scientific literature. This proposal has NOTHING to do with “sound science,” “transparency,” “good government,” or any of the other meaningless words that Sequeira wants to throw into this document. It has EVERYTHING to do with delaying protections for workers’ health.
Sequeira is generously giving workers and other interested parties 30 days to submit comments on Chao’s plan. Grrrr…I had several activities planned this Labor Day weekend to honor the nation’s working class (including a blessing of the tools of our trades), but instead, I’ll be spending my free time preparing written comments on this anti-public health and anti-worker proposed rule.
...
http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.

Thursday, September 04, 2008
Weekly Toll: August 27- September 2, 2008

Landscaper killed while cutting down tree - - SEPT 2, HUNTINGTON, NY -- Glorismel Gonzalez, 41, owner of GMG Lawn and Garden Services, was cutting a limb off a tree he had been contracted to take down on Tuesday when the rope he was using got wrapped around the tree, pressing him up against it. The weight of the limb apparently crushed him.

Road worker hit by car - - AUG 30, HOUSTON, TX -- A Texas Department of Transportation worker, David Hall, 42, was working with a road cleanup crew when he was hit by a car and killed. An off-duty police officer chased after the car and stopped it after a quarter mile. The driver has been charged with intoxication manslaughter and failure to stop and render aid.

Man killed in accident - - AUG 30, WEST VALLEY CITY, UT -- Peter Koons, 21, of West Jordan, was helping a driver attach a semi to a trailer Saturday morning. When the driver was backing the trailer into place, Mr. Koons somehow became caught between the semi and the trailer and was crushed. He died at the scene.

Two workers dead after chemical exposure - - AUG 30, ST. LOUIS, MO -- Two workers died and several others were hospitalized Saturday after a barrell containing nitroaniline was dropped at the Ro Corporation and the white powder went all over the workers. Nitroaniline, commonly used in synthesizing dyes, antioxidants, gasoline, poultry medicines, and pharmaceuticals, may cause vomiting, diarrhea, convulsions, respiratory arrest as well as other symptoms. The victims, some of whom drove themselves to the hospital, reportedly had blue skin. Two emergency rooms shut down for fear that others could become contaminated.

2 killed when train hits truck - - AUG 29, MEDFORD, OK -- Two Union Pacific crew members: Larry Benny Williams, a conductor from Oklahoma City, and engineer Richard D. Parvis, an engineer from Anadarko, were killed Friday morning when a freight train crashed into a propane tanker. The crash generated a massive explosion. Investigators say the two crew members saw the tanker, honked, and hit the emergency brake, but could not stop the crash that resulted in their deaths. The director of Enid and Garfield County Emergency Management, Mike Honigsberg, said their last actions "probably prevented another major catastrophe", as they stopped the train from becoming a runaway. The driver of the truck was airlifted to a hospital in Kansas with third-degree burns over more than half of his body.

Garage repair worker killed at work - - AUG 28, BERWYN, IL -- Michael Waychoff, 33, a worker who did occasional odd jobs for Metro Garage, was killed Thursday while attempting to inspect the brakes on a semi. Police said Mr. Waychoff was lying on the floor of the garage in front of the cab's tires when he asked another worker to turn on the engine to test for air leaks. The coworker did so, not realizing that the semi was in gear, and the semi lurched forward onto Mr. Waychoff's chest and abdomen. He was taken to the hospital but pronounced dead not long thereafter.

Man killed in tractor accident - - AUG 28, SAVANNAH, TN -- Jackie Alexander, 64, was driving a farm tractor when it went out of gear and began to roll down a steep embankment. Mr. Alexander tried to brake, but the tractor went off the road and rolled over him. He was pinned underneath the tire of a bush-hog that was attached.

Hazmat worker dies - - AUG 28, SCHENECTADY, NY -- Two employees of Precision Industrial Maintenance, Inc., were attempting to repair a sewage vacuum in the back of a sewage truck Tuesday when they were overcome by hydrogen sulfide fumes and had to be hospitalized. One of the two workers died Thursday. This accident has raised questions about the safety record of this company, which was cited and fined by OSHA as recently as March.

Construction worker killed by a snap tie - - AUG 27, TAMPA, FL -- Construction worker Rafael Villasenor Cazares, 28, died from injuries sustained Wednesday while working at a 36-story high-rise known as The Element. Investigators say a 1/8" x 20" snap tie, used to hold forms together while cement is poured, fell 26 stories and pierced Mr. Cazares' helmet and head. OSHA is investigating the incident.

Oil well explosion kills worker - - AUG 27, BRISTOW, OK -- Christopher Hyde, of Stroud, was part of a team sealing an oil well with cement Wednesday morning when oil and natural gas began spewing from the well and a fire was ignited. Mr. Hyde, who was standing on a platform, was forced to jump. Three other workers were hospitalized with severe burns.

Farmer killed in tractor overturn - - AUG 27, XENA, IL -- Clair R. Land, 68, was driving a tractor with a front bucket when the tractor overturned in a ditch, trapping him underneath. It took rescue personnel over one hour to free him. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

Pool technician found dead - - AUG 27, HAZELWOOD, MO -- A swimming pool technician employed by Pro Pool Services was found dead today at the Chez Paree Apartment Complex. Police said the 48-year old worker was found in eight feet of water dressed in full scuba gear. It was unclear whether he died from an equipment malfunction or a medical condition.

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. Spc. Carlo E. Alfonso, 23, of Spokane, Wash., died on Aug. 26 of injuries sustained when his vehicle struck an improvised explosive device in Sadr City, Iraq. He was assigned to the 40th Engineer Battalion, 2d Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Baumholder, Germany.

02. Spc. Steven J. Fitzmorris, 26, of Columbia, Mo., died on Aug. 25 of wounds suffered from enemy fire while on a dismounted patrol in Adhamiyah, Iraq. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 29th Field Artillery Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

03. Spc. Jorge L. Feliz Nieve, 26, of Queens Village, N.Y., died on Aug. 28 of injuries sustained from a vehicle incident in Mosul, Iraq. He was assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, Fort Hood, Texas.

04. Petty Officer 1st Class Joshua Harris, 36,of Lexington, N.C., died Aug. 30 from injuries sustained while conducting combat operations in Afghanistan. Harris was temporarily forward deployed from his assignment at Naval Special Warfare Development Group, Dam Neck, Va.

05. Pfc. Patrick W. May, 22, of Jamestown, N.Y., died Sept. 2 in Baghdad, Iraq, of injuries sufferedfrom a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the Division Special Troops Battalion, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.

06. Sgt. 1st Class Gregory A. Rodriguez, 35, of Weidman, Mich., died Sept. 2 of wounds suffered in Ana Kalay, Afghanistan, when his mounted patrol came under small arms fire. He was assigned to the K-9 unit of the 527th Military Police Company, 709th Military Police Battalion, 18th MP Brigade, Ansbach, Germany.

~~

Three Missing WWII Sailors Are Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of three U.S. servicemen, missing from World War II, have been identified and will be returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

They are Ensign Irvin A.R. Thompson, of Hudson County, N.J.; Ensign Eldon P. Wyman, of Portland, Ore.; and Fireman 2nd Class Lawrence A. Boxrucker, of Dorchester, Wis.; all U.S. Navy. Boxrucker will be buried on Sept. 6 in Dorchester, and the funerals for Thompson and Wyman are being set by their families.

When the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor Dec. 7, 1941, the battleship USS Oklahoma suffered multiple torpedo hits and capsized. As a result, 429 sailors and Marines died. Following the attack, 36 of these servicemen were identified and the remaining 393 were buried as unknowns in the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific in Honolulu, Hawaii.

In 2003, an independent researcher contacted the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) with information he believed indicated that one of the USS Oklahoma casualties who was buried as an unknown could be positively identified. After reviewing the case, JPAC exhumed the casket, and discovered that it contained what is believed to be the remains of at least 28 other men in addition to the three identified.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory also used mitochondrial DNA and dental comparisons in the identification of remains for Thompson, Wyman and Boxrucker. Additional remains that could not be attributed to these servicemen will undergo further analysis.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq and Afghanistan. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Activities and Events of Interest - - Coming Events
~~~~~
Albemarle Fall Golf Tournament is Scheduled for Sept 20th.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
CQ CQ all Hams. We have restarted a 2 meter net on the Willisville repeater, 146.655, every Tuesday evening at 7 PM. Please check in and spread the word. We would like to get some renewed interest in amateur radio and the ARKLA Amateur Radio Association. Will be listening for everyone next Tuesday night.
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner-News through e-mail?
E-mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner-News.
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Isa 55:8-11 Luke 20:2-8 Rom 2:1-4 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat_q__.blogspot.com, where _ is the quarter (1, 2, 3, or 4) and __ is the year (05, 06, 07, or 08). We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at kc5hii@suddenlink.net and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2008 before it was sent.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Real Products - Real Labels

Volume 10, Issue 31 Friday, August 01, 2008

Hello All,

It’s hot! The National Weather Service in Shreveport put out a “Heat Advisory” today. “A HEAT ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT ... .
HIGH PRESSURE WILL CONTINUE TO BUILD INTO THE REGION THIS WEEKEND
WHICH WILL HELP USHER IN SOME OF THE HOTTEST TEMPERATURES THIS
SUMMER ... . HEAT INDEX VALUES ACROSS THE REGION WILL RANGE BETWEEN 105 AND 110 DEGREES EACH AFTERNOON ...”
~~~~~
We received the following notice from the Department of Health and Human Services Thursday; “Dear Mr. McClellan: This is to confirm our offer of intermittent employment to you as a Safety Officer, GS-301-12, Step 01... the Department of Health and Human Services, Office of the Secretary, Assistant Secretary for Preparedness and Response, National Disaster Medical System effective August 17, 2008.”
I received my HHS / NDMS / AR-1 DMAT I.D. badge last Saturday. Once I complete another 3 or 4 inches of paperwork, I’ll be eligible to “deploy” as a Safety Officer with AR-1 to such vacation spots as the Superdome after Hurricane Katrina.
~~~~~
We’re faced with some serious challenges this year. The economy is not as robust as in previous years (no, I didn’t say it was “tanking” or “in recession” but it is facing serious hurdles.) The rising cost of energy and the “Mortgage Melt Down” have resulted in fewer dollars for discretionary spending and more expansive prices for basics such as food and fuel.
So, what is Uncle Sam doing about it. . . . Not much.
They gave us all (or most all of us) $600 to spend. Annette and I spent ours (and then some) going to South Louisiana to see Vanessa, Jimmy, Josiah and Ethan. Of course, that little “gift” drove the federal deficit even higher, causing prices to climb even more, resulting in our “gift” buying less.
And, Congress is arguing about what to do about high oil prices. The Democrats want to regulate markets (reference, the Nixon price controls from the ‘70s to see how well that will work) and tax the oil companies more (again, refer to the windfall profits tax of the ‘70s to see that the oil companies just passed the increased taxes along to us consumers.) The Republicans want to drill more oil wells. Not much else from the Republicans. So far they’ve held each other off from doing any real damage.
But my faith in either or both parties coming up with anything that will really provide a “path forward” is weak. Just this week, the House voted overwhelming to ban lead and other dangerous chemicals from items such as jewelry and rubber ducks that could end up in kids' mouths. That ought to be a “no brainer.” But they fell victim to “Junk Science” and this bill would also ban children's products — either permanently or pending further study — containing six types of phthalates, which are chemicals that are found in plastics and “suspected” of posing health risks.
While there is no conclusive evidence that the chemical causes health problems in humans,
Phthalates, said Sharon Kneiss of the American Chemistry Council, "are an important part of our everyday lives. There is no scientific basis for Congress to restrict phthalates from toys and children's products."
However, why should we listen to scientists or consult the facts. Let’s ban these substances now. The problem is that these chemicals aren’t just used on a whim. They are inherent in the manufacturing process and, if they were hazardous, I’d support a ban. But there is no real evidence of such and banning them on such flimsy data could lead to their replacement by something that is really hazardous.
But sense and scientific fact is not the way the tide is rolling. Last week, a group of doctors recommended that we forbid the use of cell phones by kids because they might cause brain problems. No, there’s no data indicating that they are harmful. But what if they might turn out to be harmful? So now we’re all supposed to run screaming into the night because something “might” be dangerous?
Now that we’ve established Congress as “no brainers,” do we want them messing with laws that could help or hurt our energy future?
The “Gang of 10," A bipartisan group of senators Friday unveiled a compromise energy plan that would open new areas in the Eastern Gulf of Mexico and Southeast Atlantic to oil and gas drilling, while raising taxes on the major oil companies. Opening new areas will probably drive oil prices down, at least marginally. However, they’re still flailing around, managing to take two steps back for every one step forward.

So I’m offering the definitive “McClellan Plan” for energy independence and afford ability.

First - Restore the tax incentives for installing energy saving appliances in homes and businesses. Energy prices are skyrocketing and this January, our “no brainer” Congress failed to renew these statutes that provide tax breaks for installing tankless water heaters, insulation, high efficiency windows, energy saver appliances and high efficiency heating and cooling.

Second - Allow all states to permit drilling outside 50 miles off the shore. At present, offshore drilling is limited to Louisiana and Texas. There is much more oil along the seacoasts of other states. And it won’t take 10 years to get that oil. Most authorities estimate 3 to 5 years to make these fields productive. And even if it was 10 years, we need to start before we’re completely out of oil.

Third - Require all gasoline powered vehicles sold in the US to be “Flex Fuel”. This would cost about $150 per vehicle and enable the alcohol fuels (not just corn methanol) market to get rolling. Alcohol fuels can be made from almost any organic material, including kudzu, wood chips and garbage. The price per gallon of alcohol fuel should be in the range of $1.50 per gallon. Even with a lower BTU value, alcohol fuels are a much better value than petroleum based fuels. And we have plenty of non-food resources to use in producing this cheaper fuel. Again, we’d get cheaper, cleaner fuel and jumpstart a new American industry.

Fourth - Institute tax rebates for purchasing hi-mileage vehicles. Even at $4.00 a gallon, there is no cost incentive to trade in my Yukon for a Prius. However, add a Tax Rebate to partially offset the higher cost of hybrids and their sales should soar. This would have a double kick of saving on oil usage as well as helping new car sales.

Fifth - provide tax incentives for co-generation (using waste steam to produce energy), and construction of hydro, thermal, wind and solar energy production facilities. Extend these incentives to the homeowner. Cheap electricity will not only save us on lights, heating and cooling, but will encourage the use of electric cars for local commuting. Another nail in the foreign oil coffin.

Sixth - Establish a standard nuclear energy plant design (as Canada, France and other countries have done) and begin building these cookie cutter plants NOW. We shouldn’t be wasting natural gas and fuel oil making electricity when it can be made cheaper and easier using nuclear power.

Seven - Encourage construction of “Clean Coal” energy plants. These aren’t the answer long term but they will sure help us for the next 50 years.

There’s one more thing that you, the voter, can do. Do NOT allow politicians to make the problem worse. We knew this crisis was coming for the last 35 years and our politicians did less than nothing to prepare for it. Now they’re making speeches and demanding “punishment” for the evil companies and oil speculators that did this to us. As Pogo said; “We have seen the enemy and they is us.” We did this to ourselves by failing to see the writing on the wall.
We’ve got to use our brains and quit acting like lemmings, following the latest fad or trend or worse yet, sticking our heads in the sand. If your representatives don’t take positive steps to improve our energy independence, vote ‘em out! Or, better yet, recall them before the next election.
~~~~~
CSB Chairman John Bresland Calls on OSHA to Adopt CSB Recommendation on Comprehensive Combustible Dust Standard, Says Imperial Sugar Explosion Shows 'Urgency for Action Is Greater than Ever'
Washington, DC, July 29, 2008 - At a Senate hearing today, John Bresland, chairman and CEO of the U.S. Chemical Safety Board (CSB), called on OSHA to act on a November 2006 CSB recommendation to adopt a comprehensive standard regulating combustible dust in the workplace.
Speaking before the Subcommittee on Employment and Workplace Safety, Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions, Chairman Bresland said this year's tragedy which killed 13 workers at Imperial Sugar's Georgia refinery - caused when sugar dust was ignited and exploded - demonstrates the need for a new OSHA standard that would cover a range of industries exposed to this hazard. Such industries include food, chemicals, plastics, automotive parts, pharmaceuticals, electrical power (where generated by coal) and others.
~~~~~
101 Finds Joy on the Golf Course - - DarynKagan.com [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/over60/index.html]
~~~~~
Pattie Stephenson’s Tanzanian Mission Report
~
Hello from Tanzania!

It is wintertime here. Yes, I am freezing at nighttime. I thank God for the thick quilts I shipped here when I moved. I go to sleep under a sheet, comforter, and quilt IN AFRICA! It's amazing! It has been colder this year than last. Some mornings, I am actually blowing smoke from the cold. I love it. I know all of my friends and family in the south in the US are suffering from a heat wave, so I will not complain.

I just returned from a village called MKWAJUNI. It is in the southern part of Tanzania in the region of Mbeya. It was a two day drive to get there. The first day and a half was like a dream, on nice roads. But the last several hours were gruesome on a horrible rocky and dirt road. When we arrived, I just sat in the van until my body stopped shaking. Ha-ha!

In every crusade this year, we have been welcomed with open arms; and it seemed the entire areas would show up for each mass crusade. This was not so in Mkwajuni. We were told that we were paving a new path for the Gospel and it was so true. Mkwajuni was full of unreligious people, many alcoholics, prostitutes, etc. The village was full of bars. We were not so wanted this time. When we arrived at our guesthouse, the ladies said in Swahili, "these are religious people." We knew that we needed to simply represent Jesus and His love for these people.

Many times in the Bible when you see signs, wonders, and miracles, these do not happen only for the person healed. These amazing miracles happen to also draw people to the Gospel of Jesus. Each night of the crusade, many people were saved and touched by the power of God and their testimonies were evidence that God is real. Seeing the people's faces as they were amazed by God's power was priceless. God never fails to surprise me.

One little girl came to the mic to testify. She looked to be about 8 years of age. When she began to speak, she had the voice of a child but the boldness of someone much older. Bro. Egon asked her age and she said, "22". Everyone was amazed. She was born with this condition that made her unable to grow. I asked the interpreter what she was saying, as the people were celebrating everywhere. He said she was saying, "I can feel my body growing." I don't know if we will ever see her again, but I believe God touched her that night. There is so much doubt in the church today about the validity of miracles. I understand, as we have had so much fakeness come around. But, we must believe God, because He loves to do what is humanly impossible. Like the blind man in the Bible who said, "All I know is I was blind, but now I can see."

As always, each night I would go out on the field with all of the children during the altar call. We would sing and then I would speak to them through an interpreter for a few minutes. Thank you to Lars and Naomi from Norway, who sent me a megaphone with their pastor last week. It was a great blessing! The kids could actually hear me!

One night after I finished ministering to the kids on the field, I saw some teenagers playing basketball. We do not see very much basketball here. The whole country is obsessed with soccer, their "FOOTBALL". So, I went over and began to talk to these guys. I told them my daddy played basketball in America. They asked me to shoot the ball. No net, no backboard, and for me, no talent. But, I shot about 4 times, and then I made it in. They laughed at me, the American mzungu in a dress playing with them. I used my little Swahili and told them that Jesus loved them so much. I walked away, hoping they wouldn't just remember the crazy lady, but the Jesus she was talking about.

One of the first nights, my eyes fell on a beautiful little girl. I hope that you will be able to see her face in the attached picture. She appeared to be about 7-8 years old. But, on her back was her little baby sister. Every night I saw her and every night she was carrying her sister on her back. I took an interest and hugged her every night. She was quiet but I could tell she was listening carefully to my words when I ministered. I pray she will remember them.

Another child impressed me in Mkwajuni. He is about 3 years old and a stinker. He would sneak through the multitude of kids, grab me on the leg, get my attention and then take off running from me. With my hand, I would ask him to come, in the African way. He would look at me with his mischievous eyes and hold his hand out asking me to come. So, I started chasing him. And he would run much faster than me. A few times that week, I caught that little guy and hugged and hugged him.

Children are the same all over the world. I still catch myself looking at a child and thinking I know his face from Magnolia, Arkansas. Just little ones who need to know their Father. Children have great faith, and they come so boldly to Jesus to receive.

One morning at our seminar, Bro. Egon asked me to sing. I do not sing very much here, as I know little Swahili. But, I took a few accompaniment CDS to the crusade, after Bro. Egon urged me. I sang a song that says, "I worship you because of who You are." After I sang I went to sit down and I knew immediately that the presence of God had filled the place. I began to cry. I looked around and people were on their knees, people were crying and worshiping. The seminar speaker, a pastor from Norway, asked me to come and sing again. I did and I knew then that God can move even through an unknown language. It was humbling. The Bible says, "He inhabits the praises of His people."

This crusade we were blessed to have a couple from Magnolia with us. Mark and Crystal Penick attend Immanuel Baptist Church in Magnolia. I met Crystal in 2005 when she wanted to come to Africa with me on a trip. The trip was cancelled but she never forgot it. She and her husband came for three weeks, and what a blessing they were! They put windows and doors in my kids' church in Magnolia. Then they traveled with our team to Mkwajuni. Mark was a blessing on all of the 4 flats we had on the way. On the way home, I was driving and the engine overheated and the fan (some kind of fan) broke. Mark was there to help. Crystal wore clown outfits and my gorilla outfit and even portrayed Potipher's wife, as Mark acted as Joseph from the Bible. They were great servants and simply did whatever needed. They left us feeling blessed to have met them.

To see their faces after the first crusade was wonderful. I knew that no matter how many times I told them the stories, they would only understand when they saw it for themselves. In Mkwajuni, over a thousand people were saved. It was a sight to see. I can tell you about it, but I would love for you to see it for yourself. You are welcome. Your life will be changed and you can be an encouragement to me and to the nation. Pray about coming!

We are home for one week and then we travel again to the south. Our bodies are tired, but we feel full of purpose. Pray for our next crusade which is in the Mbeya region as well. Regions in Tanzania are like states in America. We will only be about 20 miles from Mkwajuni. Pray for our vehicles, which have given us a struggle this year. Pray for our team. Pray for Egon and Hannah Falk. We need strength to give our best to this ministry.

Thank you all again for your giving and encouragement.

God Bless You!

Pattie Stephenson
New Life Outreach
Tanzania, Africa

Financial support can be sent to Magnolia Christian Center - P.O. Box 827 - Magnolia AR 71754 (memo: Pattie/Tanzania)

P.S. The following is a note from my leaders concerning our new kids' church in Tanzania.
~
Our Children’s Church!

Saturday morning we had our first happening in our new Children’s Church and we had a wonderful time.
200 children and some parents showed up and even after we were finished children kept coming.
We were happily surprised to see all these children because we hadn’t done a lot of announcement, we just opened the doors.

Our building was full and will soon be too small. Of course this is a positive problem but we will have to do something about this very soon. We want to put up a big roof and continue with the Children’s Church under this roof.

We know that the children are “the door” into many families and we believe many parents will come to believe in Jesus through this work. We are convinced that we will be able to change this local area where we live through this Children’s Church.

Please pray for the church and for financial support towards this important work. When we touch the children we are touching the heart of God!

Yours in Tanzania
Hannah og Egon Falk

Earmark donation “Children’s Church” and write a check out to:
Word of Life Center
P.O. Box 18862
Shreveport, LA 71138
Phone: 318 688 4411
~~~~~
The Lighthouse Church Report:

Love
Thursday, July 24, 2008 - jimmy Malone
John 15:10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

This is our standard. We show we love God by doing the right things. If we are not careful, this turns into well-meaning religion. But we are incapable of doing the deeds of love toward God until we learn to receive love from God.
I John 4:19 We love Him because He first loved us.

Have you learned to receive love from the Father? Take time to be still in His presence. Then go show the world what love means.

http://thelighthousechurch.publishpath.com/
~~~~~
We extend our sincere sympathy to Shane Mayfield in the loss of his father. Gary is also the father of Doug Mayfield who works for Shaw.
~~~~~
We extend our sincere sympathy to Derol Mayo in the loss of his brother.
~~~~~
We extend our sympathy to Richard Lewis in the loss of his father.
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Ezequiel R. Mora
Hometown: DeKalb, IL - - Awarded: Bronze Star with Valor
One of the Baghdad neighborhoods covered by Sergeant Ezequiel Mora’s patrol in May of 2007 was Hurriyah, a hotbed of militia activity. While passing through Hurriyah, Mora’s four Humvee convoy was attacked. An explosively formed penetrator, the most lethal type of roadside bomb, went off just as insurgents fired on the convoy with small arms.

The EFP had caused catastrophic damage to the vehicle in the rear of the column, which had the platoon medic and convoy commander in it. He directed his vehicle to be turned around to the disabled and burning Humvee. Ignoring the heavy volume of hostile fire, he leapt out to assist the trapped soldiers. He bravely attempted to rescue the gunner of the Humvee, though temporarily overcome by smoke inhalation he recovered and joined another soldier in continuing the rescue. While doing so, he noticed the platoon’s medic on the ground, badly wounded and Mora immediately began administering first aid. Once another soldier relieved him, Mora moved to the other side of the Humvee to cover his fellow soldiers.

It was then that he noticed that the gunner from the Humvee was finally free, but was bleeding heavily from his left leg. Mora swiftly applied a tourniquet to the leg to stop the bleeding. Realizing that they were in an exposed position, Mora and another sergeant took turns carrying the wounded gunner to safety, all while under fire from the insurgents. When reinforcements arrived, Mora helped to successfully evacuate the gunner to the Green Zone for medical care.

Because of his courageous actions and steadfast determination, Sergeant Ezequiel Mora helped save the lives of several of his fellow soldiers and as a result, was awarded the Bronze Star with Valor.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
01 August 2008

More than two years ago, I reported from the ground that we were losing the war in Afghanistan, a conclusion that was met with widespread ridicule and criticism. Now, more than two years after those reports, the situation there has only gotten worse.

Our next President will have to make some painful decisions regarding Afghanistan. If those decisions are unwise, we will lose the Afghan front of this war.

On the upside, however, our military has proven that it can take a war that looks unwinnable and turn it around. During those very dark days in 2006 and early 2007, the Iraq war seemed lost to many "experts." Many "experts" were ready to cut and run. But we won in Iraq. Against heavy odds. Our very experienced and capable military -- who truly rescued victory from the jaws of defeat in Iraq -- are my only hopes for Afghanistan.

Michael

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Commentary: A top general says more troops aren't the answer in Afghanistan

By Joseph L. Galloway
McClatchy Newspapers

There's military slang that seemingly applies to the situation on the ground in Afghanistan today. The operative acronym is FUBAR - Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition. That first letter doesn't really stand for "Fouled," and the R sometimes stands for Repair.

One of the sharper military analysts I know has just returned from a tour of that sorrowful nation, which has been at war continuously since the Soviet Army invaded it in late 1979.

Gen. Barry McCaffrey, who retired from the U.S. Army with four stars and a chest full of combat medals including two Distinguished Service Crosses, says we can't shoot our way out of Afghanistan, and the two or three or more American combat brigades proposed by the two putative nominees for president are irrelevant.

McCaffrey predicts that 2009 will be the year of decision as the Taliban and a greatly enhanced presence of "foreign fighters" try to sever roads and halt road construction to strangle and isolate the capital, Kabul and attack NATO units that are hamstrung by restrictions and rules of engagement dictated by their home governments.

More ominously, the general says, we can expect a Taliban drive to erase Afghanistan's border with Pakistan in the wild frontier provinces of Pakistan that have provided sanctuary for Taliban and al Qaida leaders and fighters since Osama bin Laden escaped there in 2001.

The general says that despite the two presidential candidates' sound bites, a few more combat brigades from "our rapidly unraveling Army" won't make much difference in Afghanistan.

Military means, he writes, won't be enough to counter terror created by resurgent Taliban forces; we can't win with a war of attrition; and the economic and political support from the international community is inadequate.

"This is a struggle for the hearts of the people, and good governance, and the creation of Afghan security forces," McCaffrey writes. He says the main theater of war is in frontier regions pf Afghanistan and Pakistan, and the combatants are tribes, religious groups, criminals and drug lords.

It'll take a quarter-century of nation-building, road and bridge building, the building of a better-trained and better-armed Afghan National Police and National Army and the eradication of a huge opium farming industry to achieve a good outcome in Afghanistan, McCaffrey wrote in his report to leaders at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point.

We can't afford to fail in Afghanistan, the general says, but he doesn't address the question of whether we can afford to succeed there, either.

McCaffrey writes that the situation in Afghanistan is dire, and is going to get a lot worse in the 24 months ahead. The country is in abject misery - 68 percent of the population has never known peace; average life expectancy is 44 years; maternal mortality is the second-highest in the world; terrorist violence and attacks are up 34 percent this year; 2.8 million Afghans are refugees in their own country; unemployment is 40 percent and rising; some 41 percent of the population lives in extreme poverty; the only agricultural success story is a $4 billion opium crop producing a huge amount of heroin, and the government at province and district level is largely dysfunctional and corrupt.

The battle will only be won, McCaffrey says, when there's a real Afghan police presence in all of the country's 34 provinces and 398 districts; when the Afghan National Army is expanded from 80,000 troops today to 200,000 troops; when we deploy five U.S. combat engineer battalions with a brigade of Army Stryker forces for security to begin a five-year road building program that also trains Afghan Army engineer units and employs Afghan contractors and workers.

Without NATO, we're lost in Afghanistan, he writes. But NATO's level of commitment and engagement in Afghanistan is woefully inadequate - European troops are restricted by their political leaders at home, risk-averse in a dangerous environment and almost totally unequipped with the tools needed for an effective counter-insurgency campaign - helicopters, intelligence, logistics, engineers, civil affairs and special operations units, precision munitions, medical support and cash to prime local economic efforts.

As for neighboring Pakistan and bellicose American threats to cross the border and mount more attacks on insurgents there, McCaffrey says this would be a "political disaster" that would imperil any Pakistan support for our campaign and likely result in Pakistan's weak civilian government shutting off American supply routes into Afghanistan.

Our efforts in Afghanistan, inadequate though they may be, now cost $34 billion each year and clearly this would have to be substantially increased if the fixes McCaffrey prescribes are to be implemented.

As good as the American ground troops operating in Afghanistan are - many are on their third or fourth combat deployments there or in Iraq - McCaffrey says our military is under-resourced and too small for the national strategy we've been pursuing.

The general concludes his report by writing: "This is a generational war to build an Afghan state and prevent the creation of a lawless, extremist region which will host and sustain enduring threats to the vital national security interests of the United States and our key allies."

This ought to be a wake-up call for all Americans, and for John McCain and Barack Obama. Now there's a sound bite for them.

Your correspondent,
Michael

Http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php
~~~~~
This week we watched [Ratings are my own]:
Across the Pacific (1942) [7.5] Humphrey Bogart ... Mary Astor ... Sydney Greenstreet
Murder Most Foul (1964) [6.5] Margaret Rutherford ... Ron Moody ... Charles 'Bud' Tingwell
Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949) [6.5] Dennis Price ... Valerie Hobson ... Joan Greenwood ... Alec Guinness
It Happened One Night (1934) [9] Clark Gable ... Claudette Colbert ... Walter Connolly
The Awful Truth (1937) [6.5] Irene Dunne ... Cary Grant ... Ralph Bellamy
I Was A Male War Bride (1949) [7.5] Cary Grant ... Ann Sheridan
Spencer's Mountain (1963) [9] Henry Fonda ... Maureen O'Hara ... James MacArthur ... Wally Cox
~~~~~
This week we read; “The steel wave : a novel of World War II” / Jeff Shaara.
We’re currently reading; ““Persuader : a Jack Reacher novel” / Lee Child.
We intend to read; TERMINAL CHAOS: Why U.S. Air Travel Is Broken and How to Fix It (Library of Flight Series) (Hardcover) by George L., Ph.D. Donohue (Author), Russell D., III, Ph.D. Shaver (Author), Eric Edwards (Contributor), Fighting words : how liberals created neo-conservatism : a political autobiography / Ben J. Wattenberg, “Judgment day” / by Sheldon Siegel, “Extraordinary circumstances : the journey of a corporate whistleblower” / Cynthia Cooper, “Bad luck and trouble : a Jack Reacher novel” / Lee Child.
We recommend: “Honor Bound: Inside the Guantanamo Trials” by Kyndra miller Rotunda,
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com/BugsBleat/shelf?ec=7D790D174EFS18012
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include new AR-1 Disaster Medical Team Members, Fingerprinting (again) for updated federal I.D.s, an old railroad bridge in Monroe, LA, DMAT members helping each other with the endless federal paperwork requirements and our DMAT team lining up for lunch.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat2q08.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see more photos of April’s train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Dr. Pat Antoon’s New Address:
Pat Antoon 06669-010
Federal Prison Camp
P.O. Box 9300
Texarkana, TX 75505
Be sure and keep him in your prayers.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - - Rocky Mountain Benedict Recipe courtesy The Kneadery


4 English muffins
8 eggs
16 ounces smoked Idaho trout or salmon
Hollandaise Sauce, recipe follows
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley leaves or dill, for garnish
Paprika, for garnish


Split the English muffins in half and then toast or grill them; set them aside. Fill a large shallow pan with 2 to 3 inches of water and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer and gently break the eggs into the boiling water. Cook the eggs until the yolks are set to the desired doneness, about 3 minutes. Remove the eggs from the heat. Warm the smoked trout in a nonstick skillet over medium-high heat for 30 seconds or until heated through. Arrange the toasted English muffins on plates and top with the trout. Using a slotted spoon, place 1 poached egg on top of each English muffin. Spoon warm Hollandaise Sauce over the eggs and sprinkle with parsley and a dash of paprika, to garnish. Serve immediately.
This recipe was provided by professional chefs and has been scaled down from a bulk recipe provided by a restaurant. The Food Network Kitchens chefs have not tested this recipe, in the proportions indicated, and therefore, we cannot make any representation as to the results.


Hollandaise Sauce:
1 pound butter
1 cup dry white wine
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon hot sauce
6 egg yolks


Melt the butter over medium heat in a heavy saucepan. While butter is melting, whisk together white wine, lemon juice, and hot sauce in a large metal bowl. Whisk in the egg yolks. Place the bowl over a skillet of simmering water and continue whisking over medium heat until a custard consistency develops. Slowly whisk in the melted butter. Continue whisking until the sauce is rich and smooth.


Difficulty: Intermediate
Prep Time: 15
CookTime: 20
Yield: 4 servings



Episode#: RY0309
Copyright © 2006 Television Food Network, G.P., All Rights Reserved.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/cda/recipe_print/0,1946,FOOD_9936_193161_PRINT-RECIPE-FULL-PAGE,00.html
~~~~~
BreakPoint
Sleepless in America
By Mark Earley
8/1/2008
And That's No (Red) Bull

Note: This commentary was delivered by PFM President Mark Earley.

From Starbucks, to Red Bull, to No-Doz, Americans are showing signs of addiction to caffeine. Sixty percent of us drink a cup of coffee a day. On average we will drink 52 gallons of soda this year. And Starbucks—they get a whopping $5.3 billion of our collective dough.

Whether we are chemically stimulating because we do not get enough sleep, or whether the caffeine itself is depriving us of precious rest, we are also sleeping less than ever before. Americans get an average of six and a half hours of sleep a night, a 25 percent drop since the early 1900s. No wonder we are stressed. And as if we needed any more help depriving ourselves of rest, scientists may have found a drug that will eliminate sleepiness.

According to a recent article in Wired Magazine, “A nasal spray containing a naturally occurring brain hormone called ‘orexin A’ reversed the effects of sleep deprivation in monkeys, allowing them to perform like well-rested monkeys on cognitive tests.”

Personally, I would rather not take a chemical that helps me perform like a well-rested monkey. But the prospect of a chemical that could reduce sleepiness without the side effects other stimulants are known for could have far-reaching repercussions.

While the drug is still many years away from reaching pharmacies, it reminds me how important it is to examine the trends facing society from a biblical rather than a purely cultural perspective. We live in a culture today that spurns rest.

Whether it is working later hours to have more spending power or commuting longer distances to live “the good life,” or just staying up too late to watch more TV, the truth is people are ready to skip rest to do it all. For most people, the only thing that makes this choice a dangerous one would be the potential health risks and the side effects we feel the next day. Eliminate the health risks and side effects, and ta-da!, no problem.

But what about for Christians? God built rest into the very rhythm of creation. Keeping a day of rest made His top-10 list. And believe it or not, rest serves a purpose—a divine purpose. It reminds us that God is in control. What happens when you cannot finish everything that you think you need to get done and your body is telling you, “you have to go to sleep”? You are thrown into a situation in which you must depend on God.

Rest reminds us that there is Someone we can rest in. And our need for rest is a daily reminder that we are finite creatures and must trust in an infinite God.

We cannot do it alone. And in this way rest is also a picture of the great work of salvation we are offered. We can work all we want, and we will never earn salvation. Jesus did the work for us. The writer of Hebrews puts it this way: “There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from His. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest . . .” (4:9-11a).

So here’s a question for you: How are you doing at resting? It may say more than you realize about how you are doing in trusting God.

This commentary first aired on January 16, 2008.

Please help support the Christian worldview ministry of BreakPoint and the prison ministry of PFM and help us continue strong. Donate online today! Or call 1-877-322-5527.

Mark Earley, “No-Doz America,” The Point Radio, 14 January 2008.

Alexis Madrigal, “Snorting a Brain Chemical Could Replace Sleep,” Wired, 28 December 2007.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 070710, “Time Peace: A New Perspective on Time.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 070711, “How Big Is Your God?: Thoughts on Time and Light.”

© 2008 Prison Fellowship - - http://www.breakpoint.org/site_hmpg.asp
~~~~~

Words of the Week:
sempiternal: everlasting; eternal.
diadem: a crown.
extol: to praise.
quondam: former; sometime.
pusillanimous: cowardly.
sesquipedalian: (of words) long; having many syllables.
egress: the act of going out or leaving; exit.
panoply: a splendid or impressive array.
from Dictionary.Com

~~~~~
"When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest." - William Hazlitt

"He who would acquire fame must not show himself afraid of censure. The dread of censure is the death of genius." - William Gillmore Simms

"There is nothing with which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming." - Soren Kierkegaard

"What the mass media offers is not popular art, but entertainment which is intended to be consumed like food, forgotten, and replaced by a new dish." - W. H. Auden

"There is nothing that people bear more impatiently, or forgive less, than contempt: and an injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult." - Philip Dormer Stanhope

"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind there are few." - Shunryu Suzuki

"Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know." - Andre Maurois
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Victory for Mt. Soledad--Federal Judge Rules that Cross can Stay
US House Passes Olympics Related Measure Calling on China to End Human Rights Abuses
First Joint Appearance for McCain and Obama to be Held at Rick Warren's Church
Iraq's Prime Minister Encourages Christians to Return to Iraq
Colorado's Personhood Effort Garners Endorsements of Over 70 Physicians

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426

><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: Real Products - Real Labels (1)

Emailed to me by a combination of friends (Thanks to all) -Tom

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------------------

On Tesco's Tirimisu Dessert
"Do not turn upside down." (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
"Product will be hot after heating."

On packaging for a Rowenta Iron
:Do not Iron clothes on body."

On Boots Children's cough Medicine
"Do not drive car or operate machinery."

On Nytol (a sleep aid)
"Warning: may cause drowsiness."

On a Korean kitchen knife
"Warning: keep out of children."

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights
"For indoor or outdoor use only."

On a Japanese food processor
"Not to be used for the other use."

On Sainsbury's Peanuts
"Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packer of nuts
"Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."

On a Swedish chainsaw
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

On the instruction manual for a Canon camera (circa 1966)
"Do not rattle playfully at the shutter button."

On a packet of Sunmaid Raisins
"Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?"

On a hairdryer
"Do not use while sleeping."

On a bag of Fritos
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

On a bar of Dial soap
"Directions: Use like regular soap."

On a frozen dinner
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box
"fits one head."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Real Products - Real Labels (2)

Emailed to me by a combination of friends (Thanks to all) -Tom
---------------------------------------------

On the "CycleAware" helmet-mounted mirror:
"Remember: Objects in the mirror are actually behind you."

On a large folding cardboard sunshade for car windscreens:
"Do not attempt to operate vehicle with sunshade in place."

On a car lock which loops around both the clutch pedal and the steering wheel:
"Warning - Remove lock before driving."

On a packet of juggling balls:
"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not
suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years
in the USA."

Seen on a camera:
"This camera only works when there is film inside."

On a bottle of flavored milk drink:
"After opening, keep upright."

On a can of windscreen de-icing spray:
"Spray works in sub-zero temperatures."

On a can of insect spray:
"Kills all kinds of insects! Warning: this spray is harmful to bees."

A different brand of insect spray:
"Kills flies, wasps, mosquitoes, midges, and other flying
insects. Not tested on animals."

On an ocean buoy for determining the position of submarines:
"Protect from seawater."

On a Halloween Batman costume:
"This cape does not give the wearer the ability to fly."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Real Products - Real Labels (3)

Emailed to me by a combination of friends (Thanks to all) -Tom

---------------------------------------------

On a lawnmower:
"Warning: When motor is running - the blade is turning!"

Seen on the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle:
"Do not open here."

On a bottle of spray paint:
"Do not spray in your face."

On a bottle of bathtub cleaner:
"For best results, start with a clean bathtub before use."

On a can of powdered infant formula:
"Mix with water before serving."

Found on a can of Woolite carpet cleaner:
"Safe for carpets, too!"

Warning on a curling iron:
"Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice."

On a plastic orange juice can:
"100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate."

On the label of a Sterno candle fuel:
"Do not use near fire or flame."

Seen on a container of salt:
"Warning: High in sodium

On a baby stroller:
"Remove child before folding."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Bug Spray

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------------------

One day, finding a wasp had entered the house, a wife shouted to her husband, "There's a wasp in here. Do we have any spray?"

He told her there was a can under the sink.

"Honey," she called. "This is ant and roach spray."

"Well," her husband replied, "don't show him the label."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: What My Mother Taught Me

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Howard) -Tom
---------------------------------------------

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.'
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
'Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going
to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You're going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!'
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Power corrupts. \ /
\ _/ Absolute power is \_ /
/ / sorta neat, though. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / 186,000 miles/sec: \ /
\ _/ Not just a good idea, \_ /
/ / it's the LAW. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Okay, I pulled the pin. \ /
\ _/ Now what? Wait! \_ /
/ / Where are you going? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Nothing is so smiple \ /
\ _/ that it can't be screwed up. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The reward for a job \ /
\ _/ well done is more work. \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@kcbx.net |
| http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor |
|____________________________|
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
WARNING!!

This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan , Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America 's supply of convenience store managers and possible candidates for President of the United States . If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell and AOL customer service reps., and then Motel 6 managers.

It's getting ugly folks.

Thanks to Mary Alexis
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Arthur is 90-years-old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day, he arrives home looking downcast.
"That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I hit the ball, I can't even see where it goes."
His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down, she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try?"
"That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."
"He may be a hundred and three," says his wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."
So, the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law and asks, "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight!"
"Where did it go?" says Arthur.
"I don't remember."

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
I think you'll enjoy this too-funny compilation of Obama scenes, especially from his recent travels. Perhaps I should say you'll be blessed! If this phenomenon can just last another 100 days, he's in for four years.
Obama: The Messiah Who Ventured Forth To Bring Light To The World By Gerald Baker
http://www.jewishworldreview.com/video/video072808.php3
Thanks to Sam
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Art vs Science

A scientist and a poet were traveling in the same compartment on a train. They had never met before, so naturally there wasn't much conversation between the two. The poet was minding his own business, looking out the window at the beauty of the passing terrain. The scientist was very uptight, trying to think of things he didn't know so he could try to figure them out. Finally, the scientist was so bored that he said to the poet, "Hey, do you want to play a game?" The poet, being content with what he was doing, ignored him and continued looking out the window, humming quietly to himself. This infuriated the scientist, who irritably asked again, "Hey, you, do you want to play a game? I'll ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, you give me $5. Then, YOU ask ME a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give YOU $5."

The poet thought about this for a moment, but he decided against it, seeing that the scientist was obviously a very bright man. He politely turned down the scientist's offer. The scientist, who by this time was going mad, tried a final time. "Look, I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. Then you ask ME a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $50!"

Now, the poet was not that smart academically, but he wasn't totally stupid. He readily accepted the offer. "Okay," the scientist said, "what is the EXACT distance between the Earth and the Moon?" The poet, obviously not knowing the answer, didn't stop to think about the scientist's question. He took a $5 bill out of his pocket and handed it to the scientist. The scientist happily accepted the bill and promptly said, "Okay, now it's your turn." The poet thought about this for a few minutes and then asked, "All right, what goes up a mountain on three legs, but comes down on four?"

The bright glow quickly vanished from the scientist's face. He thought about this for a long time, taking out his notepad and making numerous calculations. He finally gave up on his notepad and took out his laptop, using his Multimedia Encyclopedia. After about an hour of this, the poet quietly watching the mountains of Colorado go by the whole time, the scientist FINALLY gave up. He reluctantly handed the poet a $50 bill. The poet accepted it graciously, turning back to the window.

"Wait!" the scientist shouted. "You can't do this to me! What's the answer?" The poet looked at the scientist and calmly put a $5 bill into his hand.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Math Symbols

While reviewing math symbols with my second-grade pupils, I drew a greater-than ( > ) and a less-than sign ( < ) on the chalkboard and asked, "Does anyone remember what these mean?"

A few moments passed, and then a boy confidently raised his hand. "One means fast-forward," he exclaimed, "and the other means rewind!"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Drought Affects Churches

Severe drought affects churches in northern Alabama, Tennessee, and northwest Georgia.

Did you know that because of the drought in these areas, church budgets are greatly affected?

Baptist churches are having to sprinkle for baptisms, the Methodists are using wet wipes for their baptisms, and the Catholics are praying that God will turn the wine back into water.

Received from Tim McNulty.

(-:][:-)

Kids Are Funny

One Sunday we sat in the front pew of our church. Our three-year-old son was playing with a stuffed animal and accidentally dropped it on the floor. Just as he was about to pick it up, the priest walked over and stood in front of us. Our son looked up with a look of awe on his face and whispered, "God?"

It was all the priest could do to continue with his sermon, especially with us laughing so hard.

(-:][:-)

Liars

A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week.

"Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark."

The following week, at the beginning of the class meeting, the teacher said, "Now then, all of you who have prepared for the lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please step to the front of the room."

About half the class rose and came forward.

"The rest of you may leave," said the teacher. "These students are the ones I want to talk to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark."

Received from Becky Day.

(-:][:-)

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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2007/08/01/the-five-second-what/ - - The Five-Second What???

I guess I must have led a very sheltered existence. Why do I say that? Because I’d never heard the phrase “five-second rule” until my husband Mark used it as an excuse to eat some treat he’d just dropped on the floor. (And yes, we’re still married.)

I naively assumed that Mark was the only person crazy enough to think germs politely wait five seconds before they attach themselves to goodies. But apparently lots of people (mostly men, I’m assuming) believe that if you drop food on the floor and pick it up really, really fast, it’s safe to eat.

In fact, the belief’s so widespread that some scientists (who apparently didn’t have anything better to do with their time) actually studied the issue. And yes, they concluded that the rule isn’t valid. (Did you really need me — or the scientists — to tell you that?)

This leads to my latest limerick, in which I use the word date instead of husband to protect the guilty … and because husband has too many damned syllables:

The Five-Second What???
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My date dropped dessert on the dirt.
“Please don’t eat it,” I managed to blurt,
As he started to chew
On his now blackened goo,
Saying “5-second rule — it won’t hurt.”

And now it’s time for another poll:
Should spousal use of the five-second rule be grounds for divorce?

* Absolutely yes!
* Yes, but only if he does it in front of guests.
* No! If she's going to be that fussy, she should clean the floor more often.
* What the heck is the five-second rule?
* Only if said spouse then feeds it to you
http://www.madkane.com
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.

Here are links to items posted on The Pump Handle over the past week:

** "Picking Energy Winners: Don't Ignore the Past" by Liz Borkowski In a commentary on Marketplace, the Cato Institute's Will Wilkinson critiqued T. Boone Pickens' new energy plan – and in doing so, painted a misleading picture of the government's role our energy usage. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/07/31/picking-energy-winners/

** "Stopping Chao's Secret Rule" by Celeste Monforton Congressman George Miller (D-CA) and 11 co-sponsors introduced a bill (H.R. 6660) to prohibit Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao from issuing her proposed rule mandating new requirements for health risk assessments prepared by MSHA and OSHA. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/07/31/stopping-chaos-secret-rule/

** "Occupational Health News Roundup" by Liz Borkowski An explosion at the Packaging Corp of America in Bradley, Wisconsin killed three workers; another crane collapse has killed another construction worker; and a House committee examines medical certification for truck drivers. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/07/30/occupational-health-news-roundup-75/

** "A plate of tomato and pepper stew a la FDA, hold the credibility" by revere The FDA is saying that a Mexico-grown jalapeño peppers are responsible for more than 1200 Salmonella stpaul cases, but there are many questions the agency still isn't answering. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/07/30/a-plate-of-tomato-and-pepper-stew-a-la-fda-hold-the-credibility/

** "Chao's 'secret rule' and your favorite workers" by Celeste Monforton The Washington Post has reported on the details of the proposed Department of Labor risk-assessment rule; now, the challenge for worker health advocates is to articulate why it's so important. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/chaos-secret-rule-and-your-favorite-workers/

** "EPA Staff Told Not to Answer Questions from Congress and IG" by Liz Borkowski A senior EPA official has told managers that they shouldn't answer questions from reporters, congressional investigators, or the agency's inspector general - instead, they should direct them to a press officer. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/epa-staff-told-not-to-answer-questions-from-congress-and-ig/

** "Dust to dust" by revere OSHA has proposed the third-largest fine in its history for Imperial Sugar, whose Port Wentworth, Georgia facility was the site of a combustible-dust explosion that killed 13 workers. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/07/28/dust-to-dust/

http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.

Will They Choose Life?

Will our government choose life? I am hopeful and have been at the same time it is hard to ignore that there are those who would rather bury their heads and ignore the humanistic side. I for one will hold a pit in my stomach until tomorrow shows a result not only because I lost a loved one in an dust explosion but because I know the Imperial sugar families could have been spared this agony and we are once again faced with the possibility that nothing will change. I have went over this material in detail and it is heart braking. I really don't know how anyone can dismiss this let alone the NFPA and CSB findings.

My heart and prayers are with all the families and all those working so hard for the greater good!
Hear Our Battle Cries!

Bread & Roses

As we come marching, marching in the beauty of the day,
A million darkened kitchens, a thousand mill lofts gray,
Are touched with all the radiance that a sudden sun discloses,
For the people hear us singing: "Bread and roses! Bread and roses!"
As we come marching, marching, we battle too for men,
For they are women's children, and we mother them again.
Our lives shall not be sweated from birth until life closes;
Hearts starve as well as bodies; give us bread, but give us roses!
As we come marching, marching, unnumbered women dead
Go crying through our singing their ancient cry for bread.
Small art and love and beauty their drudging spirits knew.
Yes, it is bread we fight for -- but we fight for roses, too!
As we come marching, marching, we bring the greater days.
The rising of the women means the rising of the race.
No more the drudge and idler -- ten that toil where one reposes,
But a sharing of life's glories: Bread and roses! Bread and roses!

Below are a few things about Imperial Sugar and this is just one incident. Don't let it happen again.
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1407952534?bctid=1480982219
http://savannahnow.com/node/539199
http://savannahnow.com/node/444690

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. Spc. Seteria L. Brown, 22, of Orlando, Fla., died July 25 in Sharana, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained in a non-combat related incident. She was assigned to the 62nd Engineer Battalion, 36th Engineer Brigade, Fort Hood Texas.

02. Staff Sgt. Faoa L. Apineru, 31, of Yorba Linda, Calif., died July 2, 2007, from wounds sustained while supporting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to Headquarters Company, 23rd Marines, 4th Marine Division, Marine Forces Reserve.
Staff Sgt. Apineru was wounded on May 15, 2005. After his death on July 2, 2007, the initial medical examiner concluded that Apineru did not die from injuries sustained during his deployment, but a subsequent opinion by the Armed Forces Institute of Pathology indicated that his death was a result of his injuries sustained in Iraq.

03. Sgt. James A. McHale, 31, of Fairfield, Mont., died July 30 at the National Naval Medical Center, Bethesda, Md., of wounds suffered July 22 in Taji, Iraq, when his vehicle encountered an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 40th Engineer Battalion, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Baumholder, Germany.
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Activities and Events of Interest - - Coming Events
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Albemarle Employees Steak and Bingo Supper (Aug 16 @ 6:00 PM in Jr High Cafeteria)
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Special Alert: Only Weeks Away from TheCall DC on 8.16.08!
~~~~~
Albemarle Fall Golf Tournament is Scheduled for Sept 20th.
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Scheduled Activities
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CQ CQ all Hams. We have restarted a 2 meter net on the Willisville repeater, 146.655, every Tuesday evening at 7 PM. Please check in and spread the word. We would like to get some renewed interest in amateur radio and the ARKLA Amateur Radio Association. Will be listening for everyone next Tuesday night.
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner-News through e-mail?
E-mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner-News.
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Exo 8:29-32 1 Tim 1:15-16 John 16:24-27 Mark 6:23-28 Exo 8:15-19 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
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