Bugs Bleat 3Q 08: August 2008

Volume 10, Issue 35 Friday, August 29, 2008

Hello All,

Hurricane Gustav could grow to a Category 3 storm, with winds above 111 mph (180 kph); by the time it hits the U.S. Gulf coast next week. Tim and Jason, AR-1 leaders have been sent to the HHS Command Post in San Antonio. AR-1 is on alert and may be deployed at any time.
I’ve volunteered to go to Little Rock and help the team, including John, Steve, Ricky and Sarah load our 53' truck trailer if it’s needed.
~~~~~
Jimmy and Vanessa are in Mandeville, LA, across Lake Pontchartrain from New Orleans. They haven’t been told to evacuate and are instead, preparing to help friends and neighbors who did have to evacuate. Just in case, they are prepared to leave on short notice.
~~~~~
And, another safety item: Mississippi enacts booster seat law. Effective July 1, children ages 4 - 6 and less than 4' 9" in height or less than 65 pounds in weight are required to use a booster seat. Mississippi joins 43 other states, including Arkansas and Louisiana which already have booster seat laws.
~~~~~
Speaking of being prepared, this seems like a good time to remind everyone about disaster planning. Even if you’re not in a hurricane zone, you may be subject to severe thunderstorms, tornados, ice storms, etc. The following emergency information can help you weather these types of disasters as well as manmade incidents.
~
Are You Ready?
Basic Disaster Supplies Kit
The following items are recommended for inclusion in your basic disaster supplies kit:

Three-day supply of non-perishable food.
Three-day supply of water - one gallon of water per person, per day.
Portable, battery-powered radio or television and extra batteries.
Flashlight and extra batteries.
First aid kit and manual.
Sanitation and hygiene items (moist towelettes and toilet paper).
Matches and waterproof container.
Whistle.
Extra clothing.
Kitchen accessories and cooking utensils, including a can opener.
Photocopies of credit and identification cards.
Cash and coins.
Special needs items, such as prescription medications, eye glasses, contact lens solutions, and hearing aid batteries.
Items for infants, such as formula, diapers, bottles, and pacifiers.
Other items to meet your unique family needs.

http://www.fema.gov/areyouready/assemble_disaster_supplies_kit.shtm
~
For short term emergencies (i.e. a chemical car train wreck) you can get "Shelter In Place" information at this web site:
http://www.odh.ohio.gov/ASSETS/9A3A48E3F83B43A7AE46B8609DA5FF80/sipguidelines.pdf
Shelter in Place Supplies

• Pre-cut plastic sheeting and duct tape to cover windows,
doors, air vents or other openings. Wet cloth towels can
also be used if plastic is not available.
• Battery-powered radio.
• Flashlight (with extra batteries).
• Telephone or communication device.
• Hygiene items if restroom facilities are not available
(e.g., plastic bucket with a tight lid, garbage bags).
• First aid kit.
• Water and snacks.
• Games and books.
• Any specialized student health care items including medications and equipment.
~~~~~
Following up Uncle Bob’s birthday, here are some more “Taylor Family” stories to give us a little smile this week; At one family gathering we were talking about our youth when Uncle Bob mentioned the “rich” kids who moved into the neighborhood when he was young.
It seems that a family moved into one of Mr. Curtis’s rent houses up the highway. Now you’ve got to understand that these houses were probably less than 900 ft2 and definitely not “Trump Tower”. But if you could afford to rent a whole house in those days, you were financially a step above the average citizen of Taylor.
To young Bob’s joy, the family had kids his age and a generous mother. Every afternoon, she’d give her kids each a nickel to take to town and buy ice cream and a coke. Those were things Bob could only dream of and he was overjoyed to find that his new friends shared their mother’s generous spirit as well as were willing to share their coke and ice cream.
As my mother told me “We never missed a meal so we didn’t consider that we might be “poor”. There were many people who were less fortunate than us.”
Even though they weren’t hungry, they could still appreciate having a special treat in the afternoon.
~~~~~
By the time Charles, Dinah Sue and I came along the price of coke and ice cream had risen to a dime. And, like our parents and their siblings before us, we looked forward to going to town for a “treat.”
The only hold up was where we could get a dime. One fall, we decided to pick up pecans and sell them in the neighborhood.
So we looked around and determined that “Miss Nobie’s” yard had the most pecans lying on the ground. So we went up to Uncle Cecil’s store and he gave us three small sacks, like you’d put candy in, and we then set upon Miss Nobie’s yard, competing to see who could fill their sack first.
Before long, we had three sacks full of pecans and then had to decide who to approach that might buy them. The obvious choice was Miss Nobie. She was always nice to us.
Dinah Sue went to Miss Nobie’s kitchen door and offered the pecans to her. We were ecstatic to find that she was willing to pay us a dollar for the pecans.
Up to that point our plan was succeeding far beyond our wildest dreams. Then we committed a critical mistake. Instead of going immediately to town, we wandered back over to our grandmother’s house where my mother saw us. With eagle like sight, she spied the dollar in Dinah Sue’s hand and began questioning us on how we’d managed to accumulate such a sum of money.
We proudly explained that we’d EARNED the dollar by picking up pecans and selling them. Then she dug deeper and wanted to know where we’d picked up the pecans and whom we’d sold them too.
Charlie told her that we’d picked up the pecans in Miss Nobie’s yard and I chimed in that Miss Nobie had paid us a dollar for them.
It was then that we learned it was not ethical to pick up someone’s property and then sell it to them. We were required to take Miss Nobie’s dollar back to her and weren’t even allowed to get the pecans back.
Thus started a practice I’ve adhered to in my investments as an adult. Make money and get rid of it as soon as I can.
~~~~~
When I was a kid, the adults ate first, then the kids. Then when I reached adulthood, the rules
had changed and the kids ate first, then the adults. Sometimes a guy just can't catch a break.
~
When my mom's family were kids, grandmother used to always host the visiting ministers to
Sunday dinner. One particular Sunday, the ministers and other adults were enjoying lunch while
my mom and her siblings waited in the kitchen for their chance at dinner.
My uncle Fort peeked out of the kitchen and commented; "I bet them d___ preachers are going to
eat all the chicken." Uncle Bob, the “kid” of the group, who was really just a toddler at the time heard Fort and then wondered out of the kitchen and, as kids are sometimes want to do, wandered around the dining room table. The adults just ignored him until his little voice was heard loud and clear; "Yep. Them d___ preachers are eating all the chicken!"
~~~~~
Here’s another Taylor family story.

“Uncle Bob Rides The Train” Like we did in our time, the Taylor kids played around the rail yard in Taylor, even though they, like us, were strictly forbidden to do so. One day, they were climbing around on an open “gondola” car, the kind you’d haul coal or some other coarse material in when little Bob fell into the empty car.
He wasn’t hurt but the sides were too high for him to get out. The other kids gathered to come up with a plan to free him when the local coupled onto the car and started pulling out of the yard.
His siblings couldn’t figure out how to get him out of a moving rail car, nor how they could get the train to stop so they went home and pretended they didn’t know where he was. In the meantime, the train continued north where Bob was eventually discovered by a railroad cop in Hope.
Bob was pulled out of the car and run out of the yard. Not knowing anyone in Hope, Bob started walking the 45 miles home. With the help of a couple of rides, the little fellow got home about sunrise the next morning.
Grandmother was beside herself with worry and asked him where he’d been. He told her he’d been playing in the rail yard, got trapped in a car, carried to Hope, thrown out of the rail yard and had been walking home all night.
She whipped him for lying and refusing to tell her where he’d really been.
~
“Wrecking the train.” After Bob’s experience, the kids started plotting how they could get revenge by wrecking the train as it came though Taylor. They finally settled on piling rocks on the track and executed this plan one evening. After setting the trap, they lay down in the ditch beside the rail to watch the show.
Fortunately (or unfortunately) the first thing down the track wasn’t the train, but an inspection cart. These small vehicles were six or eight feet square, some operated with a hand pump. [By our time, these carts had a small gasoline engine on them and a bench across the front where the men set. In poor weather they often mounted a cab made of a steel frame covered with canvas. Today, the same purpose is filled by work trucks with a set of rail wheels allowing them to be driven on the rails.] As the cart sailed down the track, it encountered the rocks and was thrown off the rail, as were its occupants.
Seeing the men flying though the air, the kids jumped up and ran home, which was a block west of the railroad. Problem was, the men were able to watch the kids run down the block and into the Taylor home. So after brushing off, the men came to the Taylor home and spoke to the kid’s parents. My mother said it nearly wore grandmother out, whipping all those kids that evening.
~~~~~
The indoor toilet was a new addition to grandmother's home when my mother and I started living there (after my father had died). My earliest memories of the new bathroom are its bright yellow and white colors and the new door that you could lock by pushing a button and then shut it and Uncle Bob would get to climb through the bathroom window and unlock the door.
I really liked playing games with my Uncle Bob when I was a toddler. Uncle Bob was just out of the Army and living at grandmother's at the time.
So there was quite a group in this big old home; Uncle Bob lived in the "Red" room (so named because of the color it had been painted after partitioning off part of this bedroom to build the bathroom), mom and I lived in the front bedroom and Grandmother lived in the back bedroom (and her “boarders” Mary Jane and her parents lived on the back porch.)
One evening I was board so I decided to play hide and seek with Uncle Bob. Of course, he didn't even know we were playing. I took my new Army search light truck that Uncle Donald had given me and walked into the corn field on the south side of the house. Before long, I heard my Grandmother calling me, but I didn't answer because we were playing hide and seek. Then, after a while, Uncle Bob started calling for me. Not long after that, the boarders came out also and joined the search. Then cars and trucks began pulling into the yard and more people started playing the game with us.
They were searching for me and I was hiding really good. It probably helped that I was only fifteen or twenty feet from the house. Since they didn't know we were playing a game, they never thought to look for me that close in the corn field.
After an hour or so, I got bored with the game and turned on the search light (the one on my new Army search light truck.) Shortly, they saw the light and came into the corn field and found me.
Uncle Bob didn't seem to be too happy that I'd won the game. In fact he seemed mad. So did many of the other people who had come over to play.
Later I learned that the real reason they weren't happy was that my game had caused them all to miss the Red Skeleton show on T.V.
~~~~~
Speaking of smiles, there were lots of them at work yesterday when everyone realized what John McCain had chosen for his Vice Presidential running mate. We were pretty much all thrilled with Sarah Palin who moved from small-town mayor with a taste for mooseburgers to the governor's office and now — making history — to John McCain's side as the first female running mate on a Republican presidential ticket.
~~~~~
And, speaking of good news, SAU was awarded a $1 million federal grant to begin construction of a $2 million Lignite Research Center at Southern Arkansas University. This should further energize the university and the future of the region’s economy as well as giving us a great alternative energy source.
~~~~~
And, some bad news. We fell victim to Microsoft Windows XP Service Pack 3 this week. I was just checking my e:mail when the automatic update message popped up. So I clicked ok and went back about my business, for a little while. Until all the error messages started popping up.
I wadded through those and then the “updater” told me the update had failed.
Humm ... ok Then the bad news. I clicked on MS Explorer and found that my desktop had changed. The screen view was different. And everything worked about 500% slower.
Then I remembered my friend Terry Stockdale’s [http://www.terryscomputertips.com/] warning; “For now, my recommendation on Windows XP Service Pack 3 is to wait. ”
I forgot and suffered the penalty.
~~~~~
And some good news. After Hurricanes Katrina and Rita destroyed more than 100 platforms in the Gulf of Mexico, oil companies made improvements to their rigs so they would be better able to withstand storms, says retired Shell engineer Peter Marshall. "After an accident like that, people are a lot more cautious," he says. [http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/business/5972848.html]
~~~~~
What if, by doing something you may already do every day, you could strengthen the Prison Fellowship community—all at no cost to you?
You can!
All you need to do is use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] when you search the Internet! That's it!

Every time you use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/], they will donate one penny ($0.01) to Prison Fellowship, or another charity of your choice. Now, that may not seem like a lot. But if we as a community were to all use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] [http://www.GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/].com/]—the numbers could add up quickly!

For instance—if 10,000 people searched 5 times a day that could easily multiply out to an amazing $182,500 a year in support for Prison Fellowship's ministry! JUST FOR DOING SOMETHING YOU ALREADY DO EVERY DAY!

GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] works just like Yahoo! or any other search engine. You don't need to download any software, sign any agreements, pay any money or even give them your name. And GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] is powered by Yahoo!, one of the most reliable search engines out there. So you can be sure it's reputable, safe and secure.

Please share this with your friends. The more people who use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] the more the blessings to worthy charities like Prison Fellowship will multiply!

For more information on how you can start using GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] to support Prison Fellowship or other charities, just click [http://www.goodsearch.com/]. Like they say at GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/], "There's no reason not to!"

God bless you for your prayers and partnership.
In His Grace,
Mark Earley
President

Thanks to Daphne Roberts
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - Dog Rescues Newborn Baby - - http://mail.google.com/mail/?zx=1pltrmn87xcid&shva=1#inbox/11c0ecd6bd646c47
~~~~~
The Lighthouse Church - - http://thelighthousechurch.publishpath.com/
~~~~~
Earwax: Too Much of a Good Thing?

The body is a miraculous mechanism. Consider the once-lowly earwax. People used to try to remove it. Now, we now know that earwax has a job to do.

While many people feel they need to remove ear wax -- technically called cerumen and a mixture of secretion, hair and dead skin -- it is actually protective since it has lubricating and antibacterial properties. Think of it kind of like the oil in your car, except it doesn't ever have to be changed.

The guidelines advise against the use of cotton-tipped swabs, oral jet irrigators and ear candling (the use of cone-shaped candles that are lit to draw out the wax).

Normally, excess wax eases its way out of your ear without any prompting on your part, helped along by the movement of your jaw.

* It is "strongly advised" that people not use cotton swabs or ear candling to clean earwax on their own.
* Those who are high-risk for impacted earwax are advised to get checked every 6- to 12 months for routine cleaning.
~~~~~
Staff Sgt. Nick Bradley’s address at Walter Reed Medical Center, courtesy of his parents:
Bradley, Staff, Sgt. Nick B
WD 57 RM 41
6900 Georgia Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20307
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Brian Russell - - Hometown: Dover, DE - - Awarded: Bronze Star

In December of 2006, Major Brian Russell of the United States Marine Corps arrived in Iraq to take on the tough task of leading an eleven-man team of Marines advising an Iraqi Army battalion in Habbaniyah, a then dangerous area of the Sunni Triangle. The day he arrived in Habbaniyah, all of the battalion’s positions were attacked and three were badly damaged. The job ahead would not be an easy one.

Russell was able to convince the incoming battalion commander to correct this and move as many of his troops as possible into the fight. This not only meant fighting the enemy, but also a better chance to cultivate relationships with the local civilians. Russell also pressed for developing leaders at the company and platoon level, giving the Iraqis the opportunity to understand local concerns, and to take pride in themselves as soldiers. Under his leadership, the team of advisors trained the Iraqi non-commissioned officers to become capable leaders, allowing the unit to increase the number of its patrols. Along with those increased patrols, Russell helped build relations with the local police forces. His work resulted in an upswing in cooperation with Iraqi police, and the incorporation of neighborhood watch units into local security efforts.

As his training of the Iraqis progressed, Russell moved his team of American advisors into more of a supervisory role. He made recommendations that the Iraqi’s should expand their area of responsibility. For instance, Russell recommended that the battalion increase its presence in a certain tribal area that happened to be the point of origin for several insurgent attacks. By expanding the presence of security forces there, he contributed to the section being mostly emptied of insurgents. After clearing an area of insurgents, he assisted the unit in devising reconstruction plans and improving local support for the Iraqi Army. The plan started with quick, cheap projects designed to gain the trust and loyalty of the population. It eventually grew to include more than $1.5 million in infrastructure projects.

But the centerpiece of Russell’s plan was ensuring that the battalion and its commanders could execute these tasks in the future, without coalition help. Towards the end of his time in Habbaniyah, the unit was able to execute operations without significant aid from the advising team. This was in stark contrast to when he first arrived, when the battalion could barely field half of its forces without extensive help from the American advisors.

Thanks to his extraordinary efforts, Major Brian Russell helped transform an entire Iraqi battalion into an effective fighting force, a feat for which he was awarded the Bronze Star Medal.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings,

Am in Afghanistan, currently with British forces. British morale is high. I see Canadians taking leading combat rolls in very dangerous operations. Truly, Canadians are laying it all out there: more on that later. Canadian morale also seems high. Americans, Aussies, and French: this is a great and growing effort. Many dispatches to come.

Please click [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/] for the first of many. Though after this first dispatch, I'll likely be reporting more and more from actual combat.

V/R, Your correspondent,
Michael

Http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php
~~~~~
The last two weeks we watched [Ratings are my own]:
Daddy's Little Girls (2007) [7.5] Starring Gabrielle Union ... Idris Elba ... Louis Gossett Jr.
Suppose They Gave a War and Nobody Came? (1970) [5.0] Starring Brian Keith ... Tony Curtis ... Ernest Borgnine ... Suzanne Pleshette ... Tom Ewell ... Bradford Dillman ... Arthur O'Connell ... Don Ameche
Alice Adams (1935) [7.5] Starring Katharine Hepburn ... Fred MacMurray
The Quiet Man (1952) [8.5] Starring John Wayne ... Maureen O'Hara ... Barry Fitzgerald ... Ward Bond ... Victor McLaglen ... Mildred Natwick
~~~~~
The last two weeks we read; Depraved indifference : the Workers' Compensation System / Patrice Woeppel.
We’re currently reading; First daughter / Eric Van Lustbader
We intend to read; Mr. Monk goes to Germany / Lee Goldberg.
We recommend: Jungle rules : a true story of Marine justice in Vietnam / Charles W. Henderson.
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com/BugsBleat/shelf?ec=7D790D174EFS18012
~~~~~
Since it looks like our AR-1 Team will be deployed in response to Hurricane Gustav, the photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include shots of our AR-1 DMAT Team.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat2q08.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see more photos of April’s train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Dr. Pat Antoon’s Address:
Pat Antoon 06669-010
Federal Prison Camp
P.O. Box 9300
Texarkana, TX 75505
Be sure and keep him in your prayers.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - - 5 Minute Chocolate Mug Cake

4 Tbl Spoon Cake Flour (not self rising)
4 Tbl Spoon Sugar
2 Tbl Spoon baking cocoa
1 egg
3 Tbl Spoon milk
3 Tbl Spoon oil
3 Tbl Spoon chocolate chips
a small splash of vanilla essence
1 coffee mug

Add dry ingredients to mug and mix well
Add the egg and mix well
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well
Add the chocolate chips and vanilla essence and mix well
Place mug in microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts. The cage will rise over the top of the mug but don’t be alarmed!

Allow to cool a little and tip onto a plate if desired.

EAT! (This can serve 2 if you want to share.)
This is the most dangerous cake recipe in the world, because now we are only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
He Has Spoken
By Chuck Colson
8/29/2008
'The Faith'

It is one of the great stories of the Christian Church. In Scillium, North Africa—A.D. 180—a runner brought the message that soldiers were on their way. A Christian silversmith named Speratus, about to be arrested, had a decision to make: Should he take the Church’s sacred scrolls with him to jail? Or would they be safer in hiding?

The Roman authorities had been burning the Gospels and the letters of Paul, and persecuting Christians. To not guard these writings would be an act of betrayal—a renunciation of the faith.

Speratus and 11 other Christians were kept in a dungeon under the Roman garrison. They sang songs, prayed together, and fed on the words of Paul—which Speratus had taken with him into captivity.

In time, six of the men were examined by Proconsul Vigellius Saturninus. “Swear by the genius of our Lord the Emperor,” Saturninus ordered.

Speratus thought of Paul’s admonition to Timothy and paraphrased it in reply: “I cannot worship the empire of this world,” he said, “but rather I serve that God, whom no man has seen, nor with these eyes can see.”

“Don’t you understand it means your deaths?” Saturninus asked.

These men answered, “We fear nothing and no one, except our Lord God.”

The fame of the Scillitan martyrs, as they came to be known, spread throughout the empire. They are remembered today for their absolute trust in God’s Word.

As I write in my new book, The Faith, the same dynamic comes into play whenever the Church faces a hostile culture. Today, Christians in North Korea and elsewhere risk violent punishment for even possessing the Scriptures.

What is it about this book that causes people to give their lives for it, causes oppressors to try to destroy it, and so infuriates cultural elites? The reason is what the Bible claims for itself: It purports to be the Word of God. The Bible, written by men, but through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, gives us God’s eternal perspective on the world—truth unbound by time or place. This is why Christians defend the Bible with their very lives. And since the Bible calls followers to an allegiance higher than the state, tyrants seek to destroy it.

Simply put, the Bible is the rock on which the Church stands or falls. The texts were written with meticulous care, based on manuscripts accumulated over the centuries before Christ—and then, by faithfully recording the apostles’ teaching. Archeological discoveries are mounting, supporting the Bible’s historicity. No book has ever been so challenged nor found so reliable.

For 2,000 years, the Bible, often unaided by any human intervention, has transformed—often dramatically—the lives of those who read it: St. Augustine, St. Anthony of Egypt, Martin Luther, to name a just a few. And I have known thousands, including hardened criminals, who have read the Bible and been transformed for good.

I hope you will read my new book, The Faith. In it, you will learn more about why no Christian should ever be intimidated in defending God’s Word. The evidence that He has spoken is overwhelming.

This commentary first aired on February 8, 2008, and is part five in a five-part series.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 041217, “What We’re About: Freeing God’s Children.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 050503, “A Modern Auschwitz: North Korea’s Camp 22.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 061002, “Truth and Torture: ‘Yoduk Story.’”

Jerry Dykstra, “North Korea Retains No. 1 Persecution Ranking in World,” Open Doors USA.

Learn more about helping the persecuted Church by visiting Stand Today’s website.
© 2008 Prison Fellowship - - http://www.breakpoint.org/
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
Hobson's choice: a choice without an alternative.
foment: to nurse to life or activity; to incite.
comity: a state of mutual harmony, friendship, and respect.
berate: to scold severely or angrily.
peregrination: a traveling from place to place.
naif: a naive or inexperienced person.
chthonic: dwelling in or under the earth; also, pertaining to the underworld.
redress: to set right.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The greatest tragedy is indifference." - Red Cross

"Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." - New Testament, James I. 19

"I don't think it is given to any of us to be impertinent to great religions with impunity." - John le Carre

"Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets." - Arthur Miller

"Man's loneliness is but his fear of life." - Eugene O'Neill

"One day with life and heart / Is more than time enough to find a world." - James Russell Lowell
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

URGENT PRAYER ALERT: Hurricane Gustav Strengthens into a Category 4 Storm
Aimee Herd - News Staff - (UPDATED: 13:25 PT, 8/29/08)—Gustav officially became a hurricane Friday afternoon, according to forecasters, and a report by FOXNews.com. The storm is expected to grow and is on track to slam Louisiana and the Gulf Coast early next week. Evacuations for those who need assistance have already begun.

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: Teenage Celebration

Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------------------

Dining out one evening, I noticed six teenagers boisterously celebrating some event at a nearby table. Toward the end of their meal, one of them got up and produced a camera.

"Hey, wait a minute," one of her companions said. "You have to be in the picture too."

When I approached and asked if I could help, the girl who owned the camera was delighted. I snapped a picture of the group and then, being unfamiliar with the camera, I asked her, "Do you want me to take another in case that one doesn't come out?"

"Oh, no, that's okay," she chirped innocently. "I always get double prints."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: The Navy Experience

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Dan) -Tom
---------------------------------------------

The younger readers will probably not relate to this, however anyone who has spent a hitch in the military, especially the Navy or Coast Guard, will find this all-too-familiar. Most of it was emailed to Dan by a friend and he added some comments from his own experiences. Reminds me of all those months where my rack (that's a bed) was right next to a steam line ..... - Tom
* * * * * *
I am speaking today on behalf of those of us who have family members that think we live (or lived) a "TOP GUN" existence. You know, those relatives who have watched one too many episodes of JAG, and think that Navy life is glamorous. I have a few suggestions for these people on how they can experience Navy life, right in the comfort of their own homes.

1. Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for 6 months straight. Have someone move it around during the days AND the nights.

2. Run all of your house piping and wires on the outside of the walls.

3. Pump 10 inches of nasty, rank water into your basement, then pump it out, clean up, and paint the basement "deck gray". You must then pump this kind of nasty water back into and out of your basement twice a day.

4. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the scummiest part of town, find the most run-down, trashiest bar you can, pay $10 per beer until you're hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.

5. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawn mower. Have your father-in-law "spot-check" you every four weeks and give you an assessment of your technique.

6. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to 200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to 10 degrees. On Saturdays, and Sundays declare to your entire family that they used too much water during the week, so all showering is secured.

7. Raise your bed to within 12 inches of the ceiling.

8. Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5:00 a.m., and blow a whistle and shout in his loudest voice, "Reveille, Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up".

9. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the following day, then you take a ladder at 6:00 a.m., climb up to your roof, then back down, and then stand in the back yard at attention until 6:25 so she can come out and read it to you.

10. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight, then lock the bathroom door for 12 hours, and hang a sign on it that reads "Secured - contact OA DIV at ext. -3053".

11. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it's OK for you to leave your house before 3:00 p.m.

12. Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up all the windows and doors to your house for 6 months. After the 6 months is up, take down the boards, and since you're on duty, wave at your friends and family through the front window of your home ... you can't leave until the next day.

13. Shower together with above-mentioned friends. No one can use more than 60 seconds of worth of shower water, and you can only use hand-towels to dry off.

14. Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home (i.e. dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc). Make sure they get signatures for each step of operation, and then give them an oral review conducted by three other previously-qualified operators before allowing them to operate the appliance.

15. Walk around your car for 4 hours checking the tire pressure every fifteen minutes. Check the oil and transmission fluid levels once every four hours even if the car has not been started. Record your readings in a log.

16. Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere. This is to ensure your engine is properly "lit off".

17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house, and sweep your driveway three times a day, whether they need it or not.

18. Repaint your entire house once a month.

19. Cook all of your food blindfolded, groping for any spice and seasoning you can get your hands on.

20. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, randomly losing every 5th item.

21. Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch CNN and the Weather Channel.

22. Have your 5-year-old cousin give you a haircut with goat shears.

23. Sew back pockets to the front of your pants.

24. Attempt to spend 5 years working at McDonalds, and NOT get promoted.

25. Ensure that any promotions you do get are from stepping on the dead bodies of your co-workers.

26. Have your son power-nail the aluminum siding on your house after your neighbors have gone to bed. Then yell at him for not doing his job when he stops to explain that you told him to do it.

27. When your children have been in bed for 3 hours, run into their room with a megaphone, and shout at the top of your lungs that your home is under attack, and order them to man their battle stations. Have them do it over again if they are not dressed and on station in four minutes.

28. Post a menu on the refrigerator door informing your family that you are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line at the front door for at least an hour. When they finally get to the kitchen, tell them that you are out of steak, but that you have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they don't pay attention to the menu anymore and they just ask for hot dogs.

29. In the middle of January, place a podium at the end of your driveway. Have you family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4-hour intervals.

30. Lock yourself and your family in your house for 6 weeks. Then tell them that at the end of the 6th week you're going to take them to Disneyland for "weekend liberty". When the end of the 6th week rolls around, inform them that Disneyland has been postponed due to the fact that they need to get ready for E-cert, and that it will be another week before they can leave the house. After the week is over, tell them that you no longer have any room in the budget for a trip to Disneyland, but that the garage needs painting and that should give them some much needed time in the fresh air.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Remembering Birthdays

Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------------------

Because I had forgotten the dates for a number of my friend's and relative's birthdays and anniversaries, I decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the machine was turned on. I went to a number of computer stores to find a software program that would do the job but had no luck at the first few. I finally found one where the clerk seemed experienced. "Can you recommend something that will remind me of birthdays and anniversaries?" I asked.

His reply: "Have you tried a wife?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: New Apartment

Emailed to me from another humor list (Joanna's Jokes) -Tom To subscribe to Joanna's Jokes, send a blank email to: JoannasJokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------------------

Bill and Sarah were Londoners and were blessed with seven healthy children. After many months of discussion, they finally decided to move to New York. It should have been a simple enough move, but when they arrived, they had great difficulty finding a suitable apartment to live in.

Although many were big enough, the landlords always seemed to object to such a large family living there. If only Bill wasn't so honest about the size of his family!

After several days of unsuccessful searching, Bill had an idea. He told Sarah to take the four younger children to visit the local cemetery while he went with the older three children to find an apartment. After looking for most of the morning, Bill found a place that was ideal.

The landlord asked him, "How many children do you have?"

Bill answered with a deep sigh, "Seven .. but four are with their dear mother in the cemetery."

He got the apartment!
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: New Bank Teller

Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------------------

"I hear the bank is looking for a new teller."

"I thought they just hired a new teller last week."

"Right. That's the one they're looking for."
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why isn't there a special \ /
\ _/ name for the tops of our feet? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why is it called lipstick \ /
\ _/ if you can still move your lips? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A gross ignoramus is \ /
\ _/ 144 times worse than \_ /
/ / an ordinary ignoramus. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ "I'll be Bach!" \_ /
/ / -Johann Sebastian Swartzenegger \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Better mince your words... \ /
\ _/ makes them easier to eat. \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@kcbx.net |
| http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor |
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.
'
The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.
'
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.
'
The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

Thanks to the Hammocks
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Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

This is how it develops:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day:
----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Thanks to the Hammocks
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LIFE THOUGHTS BY DUCKY

Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Thanks to Ann Oldham
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Ukrainian Tomato Garden

An old Ukrainian about 80 years old lived alone in Winnipeg. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Walter, who used to help him, was in prison in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Walter, I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Tato.

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Tato,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Walter

At 4 a.m. The next morning, RCMP and local Winnipeg police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Tato,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Walter

Thanks to Anne Oldham
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This one is for everyone who...
a) has kids
b) had kids
c) was a kid
d) knows a kid
e) is going to have kids.
I guess that means all of us!!

DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said,’ Daddy, look at this' , and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, 'Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,' pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, 'What's wrong, honey?'

She replied,
'What happened to my booger?'

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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Babysitting

With some misgivings, we left a young babysitter in charge of our three energetic youngsters.

When we returned a few hours later, she was sitting alone watching TV.

I went to check on the children and found them in our narrow hallway. By bracing their arms and legs against the walls, two of them had climbed up to the ceiling.

"The babysitter taught us how," they said gleefully.

The sitter joined me, her face a deep red. "Since they had me climbing the walls, I figured they might as well be too," she stammered.

We kept the same girl for the next two years.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Away From His Desk

As the boss was leaving the office to play golf, he instructed his secretary to tell all callers that he was away from his desk.

Shortly after he left, a member of his foursome called to find out which course they were playing that day. The loyal girl would only reply that her boss was away from his desk.

"Just tell me," the golfer persisted, "is he five miles away from his desk, twenty miles away from his desk, or thirty miles away from his desk?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Share and Share Alike

An elderly couple walks into a fast food restaurant. They order one hamburger, one order of fries, and one drink.

The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife. He takes a sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip, and then he sets the cup down between them. As he begins to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them keep looking over and whispering, "That poor old couple -- all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man begins to eat his fries, a young man comes to the table. He politely offers to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man replies that they're just fine -- they're just used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people notice the little old lady hasn't eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy another meal for them.

This time the old woman says, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

As the old man finishes and wipes his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again comes over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asks, "May I ask what is it you are waiting for?"

The old woman answers, "THE TEETH."

Received from Thabile Rampa.

(-:][:-)

Rich Lawyer

A rich lawyer was going down the street in his limo when he saw a hobo kneeling in a park, eating the grass. The lawyer asked his chauffeur to stop and rolled down the window to talk to the poor fellow. The lawyer asked, "How come you are eating this grass?"

The hobo replied, "I have no money and no house, so my family and I live in this park, eat the grass, and drink out of the drinking fountain."

The lawyer said, "Well, I'm rich. Go get your family and friends, and you can all come to my house and I'll feed you."

Eventually the hobo, his family, his friends, and his friends' families all piled into the limo. As they were driving down the road, the lawyer broke the silence. "You know, you guys are really going to like it at my house. The grass is at least a foot long in the back."

Received from castle91.

(-:][:-)

SR-71 Pilots

There were a lot of things we couldn't do in an SR-71, but we were the fastest guys on the block and loved reminding our fellow aviators of this fact. People often asked us if, because of this fact, it was fun to fly the jet. Fun would not be the first word I would use to describe flying this plane. Intense, maybe. Even cerebral. But there was one day in our Sled experience when we would have to say that it was pure fun to be the fastest guys out there, at least for a moment.

It occurred when Walt and I were flying our final training sortie. We needed 100 hours in the jet to complete our training and attain Mission Ready status. Somewhere over Colorado we had passed the century mark. We had made the turn in Arizona and the jet was performing flawlessly. My gauges were wired in the front seat and we were starting to feel pretty good about ourselves, not only because we would soon be flying real missions but because we had gained a great deal of confidence in the plane in the past ten months. Ripping across the barren deserts 80,000 feet below us, I could already see the coast of California from the Arizona border. I was, finally, after many humbling months of simulators and study, ahead of the jet.

I was beginning to feel a bit sorry for Walter in the back seat. There he was, with no really good view of the incredible sights before us, tasked with monitoring four different radios. This was good practice for him for when we began flying real missions, when a priority transmission from headquarters could be vital. It had been difficult, too, for me to relinquish control of the radios, as during my entire flying career I had controlled my own transmissions. But it was part of the division of duties in this plane and I had adjusted to it. I still insisted on talking on the radio while we were on the ground, however. Walt was so good at many things, but he couldn't match my expertise at sounding smooth on the radios, a skill that had been honed sharply with years in fighter squadrons where the slightest radio miscue was grounds for beheading. He understood that and allowed me that luxury. Just to get a sense of what Walt had to contend with, I pulled the radio toggle switches and monitored the frequencies along with him. The predominant radio chatter was from Los Angeles Center, far below us, controlling daily traffic in their sector. While they had us on their scope (albeit briefly), we were in uncontrolled airspace and normally would not talk to them unless we needed to descend into their airspace.

We listened as the shaky voice of a lone Cessna pilot asked Center for a readout of his ground speed.

Center replied: "November Charlie 175, I'm showing you at ninety knots on the ground."

Now the thing to understand about Center controllers, was that whether they were talking to a rookie pilot in a Cessna, or to Air Force One, they always spoke in the exact same, calm, deep, professional, tone that made one feel important. I referred to it as the "Houston Center Voice." I have always felt that after years of seeing documentaries on this country's space program and listening to the calm and distinct voice of the Houston Center Controllers, that all other controllers since then wanted to sound like that... and that they basically did. And it didn't matter what sector of the country we would be flying in, it always seemed like the same guy was talking. Over the years that tone of voice had become somewhat of a comforting sound to pilots everywhere. Conversely, over the years, pilots always wanted to ensure that, when transmitting, they sounded like Chuck Yeager, or at least like John Wayne. Better to die than sound bad on the radios.

Just moments after the Cessna's inquiry, a Twin Beech piped up on frequency, in a rather superior tone, asking for his ground speed.

"Ah, Twin Beach: I have you at one hundred and twenty-five knots of ground speed."

Boy, I thought, the Beechcraft really must think he is dazzling his Cessna brethren.

Then out of the blue, a Navy F-18 pilot out of NAS Lemoore came up on frequency. You knew right away it was a Navy jock because he sounded very cool on the radios.

"Center, Dusty 52 ground speed check."

Before Center could reply, I'm thinking to myself, hey, Dusty 52 has a ground speed indicator in that million dollar cockpit, so why is he asking Center for a readout? Then I got it -- ol' Dusty here is making sure that every bug smasher from Mount Whitney to the Mojave knows what true speed is. He's the fastest dude in the valley today, and he just wants everyone to know how much fun he is having in his new Hornet.

And the reply, always with that same, calm, voice, with more distinct alliteration than emotion:

"Dusty 52, Center, we have you at 620 on the ground."

And I thought to myself, is this a ripe situation, or what?
As my hand instinctively reached for the mic button, I had to remind myself that Walt was in control of the radios. Still, I thought, it must be done -- in mere seconds we'll be out of the sector and the opportunity will be lost. That Hornet must die, and die now.

I thought about all of our Sim training and how important it was that we developed well as a crew and knew that to jump in on the radios now would destroy the integrity of all that we had worked toward becoming. I was torn. Somewhere, 13 miles above Arizona, there was a pilot screaming inside his space helmet.

Then, I heard it. The click of the mic button from the back seat. That was the very moment that I knew Walter and I had become a crew. Very professionally, and with no emotion, Walter spoke: "Los Angeles Center, Aspen 20, can you give us a ground speed check?"

There was no hesitation, and the reply came as if was an everyday request: "Aspen 20, I show you at one thousand eight hundred and forty-two knots, across the ground."

I think it was the forty-two knots that I liked the best, so accurate and proud was Center to deliver that information without hesitation, and you just knew he was smiling. But the precise point at which I knew that Walt and I were going to be really good friends for a long time was when he keyed the mic once again to say, in his most fighter-pilot-like voice: "Ah, Center, much thanks. We're showing closer to nineteen hundred on the money."

For a moment Walter was a god. And we finally heard a little crack in the armor of the Houston Center Voice, when L.A. came back with, "Roger that Aspen, Your equipment is probably more accurate than ours. You boys have a good one."

It all had lasted for just moments, but in that short, memorable sprint across the southwest, the Navy had been flamed, all mortal airplanes on freq were forced to bow before the King of Speed, and more importantly, Walter and I had crossed the threshold of being a crew. A fine day's work.

We never heard another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast. For just one day, it truly was fun being the fastest guys out there.

Written by Brian Shul, from his book Sled Driver.

Received from Jodan Ranous.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/poodle.html - - A POODLE TALE - - I read recently that elegant dog garb and pricey canine day-care are "in" these days. Frankly, I was pleased to learn this. For until I acquired this seemingly frivolous bit of information, I was seriously concerned about my parents.

My mom and dad bought a toy poodle nearly a decade ago and, almost immediately, my mother took to her knitting. Multi-colored dog coats. Stylish woolen sweaters. Pixie the poodle dressed better than I do.

I wasn't worried, at first. I just assumed that my mother's knitting was part of a plot to garner grandchildren. Her unspoken message? "If you and your brother don't give me a reason to knit booties, I'll simply knit doggy-wear instead."

My mom's plan, although guilt inducing, didn't work. Neither my brother nor I had any interest in progeny production, and canine clothing wasn't going to change our minds. Nor were we moved to procreate by a parade of rhinestone dog collars -- one for each day of the week.

I must admit that I was a bit hurt when our graduation photographs were banished to the garage. Their replacement? A poodle portrait encircled by a frame worthy of kings.

Still, grandchildren failed to materialize. Which probably explains the mode my mother developed to introduce their dog to strangers: "I'd like you to meet Pixie, our only grandchild."

My father never took up knitting. Nor, as far as I can ascertain, has he ever mistaken Pixie for a granddaughter. However, he does have poodle proclivities that even my mother thinks strange.

Most nights, my father splits a banana with Pixie. If he's out of bananas, he serves her ice cream in a china bowl. And he's so reluctant to leave the dog home alone, that he'll forgo a gourmet meal and smuggle her into McDonald's. How does he avoid detection? He crams her into a carrying case and, as they approach the door, he bends to snout level and whispers "You're not supposed to be here, so keep down and be quiet."

"I told you she speaks English," my father proclaims after each poodle-smuggling success. And on those rare occasions when we persuade him to leave Pixie unattended, he talks about her constantly and hurries to get back. He even heralds his return with a honk of his car horn.

My parents have finally given up on getting non-canine grand-kids. But they still refuse to treat their dog like...well...a dog. Pixie parades about in poodle coats and presides at the head of the table. And, while she has yet to learn how to use a knife or fork, I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

So what does all this mean? Do my parents need therapy? Has grandchild-deprivation driven them mad? No, I'm relieved to discover. In fact, compared to many dog owners, my parents seem relatively sane. Not once have they considered a canine chiropractor. Or a coach to prep Pixie to meet with a co-op board. And they also spurn dog play-dates and doggie day-care where pets frolic, nap, swim, and watch cartoons. "Those dogs are spoiled," my mother says of canines who partake.

So I'm guilt-free at last -- I didn't induce dementia in my mom and dad. Thus assured of my parents' sanity, my husband and I may even adopt a poodle of our own.

We're already planning her winter wardrobe.

http://www.madkane.com
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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2008 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE COMPARISON TALKING POINTS

Favors new drilling offshore US
JOHN McCAIN Yes
BARAK OBAMA No

Will appoint judges who interpret the law not make it
JOHN McCAIN Yes
BARAK OBAMA No

Served in the US Armed Forces
JOHN McCAIN Yes
BARAK OBAMA No

Amount of time served in the US Senate
JOHN McCAIN 22 YEARS
BARAK OBAMA 173 DAYS

Will institute a socialized national health care plan
JOHN McCAIN No
BARAK OBAMA Yes

Supports abortion throughout the pregnancy
JOHN McCAIN No
BARAK OBAMA Yes

Would pull troops out of Iraq immediately
JOHN McCAIN No
BARAK OBAMA Yes

Supports gun ownership rights
JOHN McCAIN Yes
BARAK OBAMA No

Supports homosexual marriage
JOHN McCAIN No
BARAK OBAMA Yes

Proposed programs will mean a huge tax increase
JOHN McCAIN No
BARAK OBAMA Yes

Voted against making English the official language
JOHN McCAIN No
BARAK OBAMA Yes

Voted to give Social Security benefits to illegals
JOHN McCAIN No
BARAK OBAMA Yes

CAPITAL GAINS TAX
MCCAIN
0% on home sales up to $500,000 per home (couples). McCain does not propose any change in existing home sales income tax.
OBAMA
28% on profit from ALL home sales. (How does this affect you? If you sell your home and make a profit, you will pay 28% of your gain on taxes. If you are heading toward retirement and would like to down-size your home or move into a retirement community, 28% of the money you make from your home will go to taxes. This proposal will adversely affect the elderly who are counting on the income from their homes as part of their retirement income.)

DIVIDEND TAX
MCCAIN 15% (no change)
OBAMA 39.6% - (How will this affect you? If you have any money invested in stock market, IRA, mutual funds, college funds, life insurance, retirement accounts, or anything that pays or reinvests dividends, you will now be paying nearly 40% of the money earned on taxes if Obama becomes president. The experts predict that 'Higher tax rates on dividends and capital gains would crash the stock market, yet do absolutely nothing to cut the deficit.')

INCOME TAX
MCCAIN (no changes)
Single making 30K - tax $4,500
Single making 50K - tax $12,500
Single making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 60K- tax $9,000
Married making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 125K - tax $31,250
OBAMA Single making 30K - tax $8,400
Single making 50K - tax $14,000
Single making 75K - tax $23,250
Married making 60K - tax $16,800
Married making 75K - tax $21,000
Married making 125K - tax $38,750
Under Obama, your taxes could almost double!

INHERITANCE TAX
MCCAIN - 0% (No change, Bush repealed this tax)
OBAMA - Restore the inheritance tax. Many families have lost businesses, farms, ranches, and homes that have been in their families for generations because they could not afford the inheritance tax. Those willing their assets to loved ones
will only lose them to these taxes.

NEW TAXES PROPOSED BY OBAMA
New government taxes proposed on homes that are more than 2400 square feet. New gasoline taxes (as if gas weren't high enough already) New taxes on natural resources
consumption (heating gas, water, electricity) New taxes on retirement accounts, and last but not least....New taxes to pay for socialized medicine so we can receive the same
level of medical care as other third-world countries!!!

You can verify the above at the following web sites:

http://money.cnn.com/news/specials/election/2008/index.html
http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/issues/issues.taxes.html

http://elections.foxnews.com/?s=proposed+taxes
http://bulletin.aarp.org/yourworld/politics/articles/mccain_obama_offer_different_visions_on_taxes.html

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/fact-checker/candidates/barack_obama/
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/fact-checker/candidates/john_mccain/

Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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FRIENDS VS. SOUTHERN FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Always bring the food.

FRIENDS: Will say 'hello'.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.

FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together.

FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' back-ends that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"

FRIENDS: will visit you in jail.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: will spend the night in jail with you!

FRIENDS: will visit you in the hospital when you're sick.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: will cut your grass and clean your house then come spend the night with you in the hospital.

FRIENDS: have you on speed dial.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: have your number memorized.

FRIENDS: Are for a while.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Are for life.

Thanks to David Lamb
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Attention all Arkansas EMTs, First Responders, Paramedics
We need all the help we can get again this year and will take all EMT's / Paramedics and first Responders that can come! By the way the Stadium likes the new shirts we stated last year. If anyone needs a shirt they are still $10 small to Xlarge and $11 for 2X and 3X, 4X is $12. I think the long sleeve will run a little so let me know if you need one and what size. I will get them to you at the game. Contact John Burge for details.

9/2 Salt Bowl - Bryant vs. Benton 6:30 PM
9/4 Catholic vs. Ft. Smith Southside 7:00 PM
9/6 U of A vs. UL-Monroe 6:00 PM
9/13 UAPB vs. UCA 6:00 PM
9/21 Battle of the Bands 1:00 PM
9/26 Catholic vs. Bryant 7:00 PM
10/10 Catholic vs. Van Buren 7:00 PM
10/18 Showcase of Bands 10:00 AM
10/24 Catholic vs. Russellville Fri 7:00 PM
10/30 Catholic vs. LR Central 7:00 PM
11/8 Delta Classic (UAPB vs. Grambling) 4:00 PM
11/28 U of A vs. LSU 1:30 PM
12/5 AAA High School Playoffs 6:30 PM
12/6 AAA High School Playoffs Noon & 6:30 PM
12/12 AAA High School Playoffs 6:30 PM
12/13 AAA High School Playoffs Noon & 6:30 PM
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Just a Formality with Columbo . . . Sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir

Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean Senator Obama, sir. Um . . . know you are busy and important and stuff. I mean running for president is very important and . . . ah . . . I hate to bother you. I will only take a minute ok, sir?

See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.

Hey, you have a nice place here! The wife sees houses like this on TV all the time and says boy she wishes she had digs like this you know? Is that painting real? Really? Wow. I saw something like that in a museum once!

Oh, sorry sir. I didn't mean to get off the track. So if you could just help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right out of your way. I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney Island or something. Ever been to Coney Island ? No, I didn't think so.
. .
Well, listen, anyways, I can't seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be "locked" or "not available'. I'm sure it's just some oversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell me where these things are . . . I . . . I . . . have them written down here somewhere . . . oh wait. Sorry about the smears. It was raining out. I'll just read it to you. Could you help me please find these things, sir?
• Your Occidental College records
• Your Columbia College records
• Your Columbia Thesis paper
• Your Harvard College records
• Your Selective Service Registration
• Your medical records
• Your Illinois State Senate records
• Your Illinois State Senate schedule
• Your Law practice client list
• A Certified Copy of your original Birth certificate
• Your embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth
• Your Harvard Law Review articles that were published
• Your University of Chicago scholarly articles
• Your Record of baptism
Oh hey . . . listen! I know you are busy! Is this too much for you now?
I mean tell you what. I will come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you are busy, so I will just let myself out. I will be back tomorrow. And the day after. .
.
Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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Change

George Bush has been in office for 7 1/2 years.
The first six the economy was fine.
Not quite two years ago:
1) Consumer confidence stood at a 2 1/2 year high;
2) Regular gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon;
3) the unemployment rate was 4.5%.
4) the DOW JONES hit a record high--14,000 +
5) American's were buying new cars, taking cruises, vacations overseas, living large!...

Are you with me so far? Is any of that not true?

But some American's wanted more & thought 'CHANGE' would be good............ So, in 2006 they voted in a Democratic Congress & yep – we got 'CHANGE' all right!.....
1) Consumer confidence has plummeted ;
2) Gasoline is now over $4 a gallon & climbing!;
3) Unemployment is up to 5% and climbing
4) Americans have seen their home equity drop by $12 TRILLION DOLLARS & prices still dropping;
5) 2% of American homes are in foreclosure.
6) as I write, THE DOW is probing and is down below~~11,300-- $2.5
TRILLION DOLLARS HAS EVAPORATED FROM OUR STOCKS, BONDS & MUTUAL FUNDS INVESTMENT PORTFOLIOS! YEP, IN 2006 AMERICA VOTED FOR CHANGE!...AND SURE GOT IT!!!....
Be careful what you wish for. I am not sure we can handle any more "CHANGE" that Nancy will give us if "her President" is elected & she has a "veto free" green light for her party's programs & the TAXES it will take to pay for them.
JUST HOW MUCH MORE 'CHANGE' CAN YOU STAND???.....

Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot.
There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,
For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,
Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.
We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn,
We spread our crinolines to dry in circles on the lawn.
We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,
And Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.
We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee'
And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me , Me.
Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,
And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.
And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see
A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me , Me.
We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,

And when they made a movie, they never made it twice.
We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,
Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me , Me.
Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,
And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.
We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T ,
And Oprah couldn't talk, yet, in the Land That Made Me , Me.
We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,
At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.
For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,
And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me , Me.
We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,
And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not Led.
And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,
Madonna was a virgin in the Land That Made Me , Me.
We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,
And babies might be bottle-fed, but they weren't grown in jars.
And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,
And dorms were never coed in the Land That Made Me , Me.
We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,
And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.
And Hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,
And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me , Me.
Buicks came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,
And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.
And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,
And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me , Me.
We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,
We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea
Or prime-time ads for condoms in the Land That Made Me , Me.
There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,
And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill.
And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,
And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me , Me.
But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,
And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.
They send us invitations to join AARP,
We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me , Me.
So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,
And wonder why they're using smaller print in all the magazines.
And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,
Long, long ago.... in the Land That Made Me , Me.

Thanks to Waneta
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Please join us in this FLY THE FLAG campaign:

On Thursday, September 11th, 2008, an American flag should be displayed outside every home, apartment, office, and store in the United States. Every individual should make it their duty to display an American flag on this seventh anniversary of one our country's worst tragedies. We do this honor of those who lost their lives on 9/11, their families, friends and loved ones who continue to endure the pain, and those who today are fighting at home and abroad to preserve our cherished freedoms.

In the days, weeks and months following 9/11, our country was bathed in American flags as citizens mourned the incredible losses and stood shoulder-to-shoulder against terrorism. Sadly, those flags have all but disappeared. Our patriotism pulled us through some tough times and it shouldn't take another attack to galvanize us in solidarity. Our American flag is the fabric of our country and together we can prevail over terrorism of all kinds.

ACTION PLAN:

Fly an American flag of any size on 9/11. Honestly, Americans should fly the flag year-round, but if you don't, then at least make it a priority on this day

Thank you for your participation. God Bless You and God Bless America!

Thanks To Ricky and Sarah Shepherd
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| Safety from the Heart |
----------------------------------------------------
August 26, 2008
Work Safe
Today's Message is from Ken Pool (a Pasadena Albemarle employee).

Safety is more than an individual's responsibility. It is also a condition of employment, a necessary step toward insuring a productive work site. An accident-free work environment is just as important to the success of the company as efforts fostering productivity and workmanship quality. But most important is the fact your family and loved ones want you Home at the end of your work day, and not go to the hospital or grave yard to visit.

Work Safe - Be Safe - Help others to be Safe.
Today's Message is from Colleen Myers (a PDC Albemarle employee).

This weekend, my guy and I were working in the backyard, me planting border grass and him using the weed eater. I decided to take a break and go inside for a cool drink. While approaching the backdoor, I heard an unusual intermittent clink clink sound, like rain hitting the fan of the air conditioning unit. I knew it wasn't raining, but looked at the outside unit to see if something else was interfering with the fan. Nope, nothing there.
As I continued toward the house, I heard the sound again, and finally found its source .... the storm door. The top glass portion had a 3" blossoming hole right in the middle, was slowly crumbling apart, and little pieces of glass were raining down bit-by-bit on the patio.
It was a big, time-consuming mess to clean up, needless to say. Luckily the storm door glass was the only thing broken, and the interior door glass wasn't shattered. This reminded me how powerful weed eaters and lawnmowers are, and that anything they pick up can become a projectile. From now on, I'm inside when those machines are in use.

----------------------------------------------------
| Safety from the Heart |
----------------------------------------------------
August 25, 2008
Using Chemicals at Home
Today's Message is from Jeff Hammons (a Pasadena Albemarle employee).
......................................................

Don't forget that chemical safety does not only apply here at the plant.
Use the same techniques that you've learned here when dealing with other chemicals such as home cleaning supplies.
Wear gloves if it might harm your skin. If you aren't sure, wear gloves anyway.
Use eye protection anytime there may be a splashing hazard.
Always watch out for potentially dangerous situations, like a plugged in appliance too close to the sink.
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.

Here are links to items posted on The Pump Handle over the past week:

** "Chao Flips us the Bird. Happy Labor Day" by Celeste Monforton The Department of Labor published a new proposed rule in the Federal Register. Just in time for Labor Day, it's a proposal that will delay protections for workers' health. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/08/28/chao-flips-us-the-bird-happy-labor-day/

** "Occupational Health News Roundup" by Liz Borkowski There's news on combat veterans suffering from concussions; flexible work schedules; and the hazards facing workers in nail salons. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/occupational-health-news-roundup-79/

** "Undermining Independence" by Tom Bethell MSHA head Richard Stickler's reading of transcripts from supposedly confidential interviews in the independent Crandall Canyon investigation imperils the effectiveness of future investigations and is a poor use of his time. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/undermining-independence/

** "Next step for Chao's Secret Rule" by Celeste Monforton According to the OMB/OIRA website, the office has completed their review of Labor Secretary Chao's proposal to change the way that OSHA and MSHA assess workers' risk of health hazards. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/08/26/next-step-for-chaos-secret-rule/

** "California May Tackle Chemicals in Consumer Products" by Liz Borkowski New California chemicals legislation is a welcome step towards improved chemical safety, considering how poorly federal agencies address the issue. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/california-may-tackle-chemicals-in-consumer-products/

** "When Biden said this, I thought of OSHA" by Celeste Monforton Senator Joe Biden's remark about politicians trying to escape responsibility brings to mind recent actions by senior Department of Labor officials. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/when-biden-said-this-i-thought-of-osha/

** "Chao and Stickler did WHAT??" by Celeste Monforton MSHA employees who agreed to be interviewed for an independent investigation into the Crandall Canyon disaster are now at risk of retaliation, because the Department of Labor has granted MSHA chief Richard Stickler access to interview transcripts. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/08/24/chao-and-stickler-did-what/

** "Friday Blog Roundup" by Liz Borkowski Bloggers' thoughts turn to U.S. healthcare reform; plus, there's news on BPA, court rulings related to suicides following workplace injuries, and the implications of more people living to extreme old age. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/08/22/friday-blog-roundup-89/

** "Imperial Sugar tragedy continues: Malcolm Frazier died today" by Celeste Monforton Malcolm Frazier, 47, succumbed to the severe burns he sustained in the February explosion of combustible dust at the Imperial Sugar refinery in Port Wentworth, GA. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/08/22/imperial-sugar-tragedy-continues-malcolm-frazier-died-today/

http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.

I have spoken of Carolyn a few times one being the Family Farewell to Carolyn W. Merritt.

Carolyn is a strong, compassionate leader who has been in politics but hasn't let it pilot her ethics. Carolyn has done a terrific job of letting the families be heard and putting the human factor back into the system. God knows I will miss her in her role and I pray she has the same success in her family life that she had during her duration at the CSB.
Once again we bid Carolyn farewell. Today we lost a dear friend and advocate. At 12:45 Carolyn Merritt peacefully passed away. Most would say that was a far cry from real life but she really was a gentle loving women she just knew injustice when she saw it.

Carolyn never gave up her fight and believe me she fought every step of the way. No matter how many friends I have seen go through this process or how positive you stay it never gets easier. Our natural reaction is what can I do? Ultimately all we can do is pray, leave it up to the experts and hope another person in our life is not afflicted.

Some people step into our lives and it is never the same. She was bold, strong, beautiful, had a great work ethic and wonderful family. Carolyn was a guide and let the way for my actions. I will miss her deeply and be forever grateful for the short time was able to share with her. My prayers are with the family and my hope are that they understand how important she was for so many.

REST IN PEACE CAROLYN!

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. Staff Sgt. David L. Paquet, 26, of Rising Sun, Md., died Aug. 20 at Combat Outpost Vegas, Jalalabad, Afghanistan, of undetermined causes while conducting a patrol. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 26th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.
02. Staff Sgt. Brian E. Studer, 28, of Ramsey, Minn., died Aug. 22 in Ghazni, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when the improvised explosive device he was attempting to deactivate detonated. He was assigned to the 720th Explosive Ordnance Disposal Company, 28th Transportation Battalion, 18th Military Police Brigade, Mannheim, Germany.
03. Pfc Tan Q. Ngo, 20, of Beaverton, Ore., died Aug. 27 in Kandahar, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered in Zabul Province, Afghanistan, when his mounted patrol received small arms and rocket-propelled grenade fire. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 4th Infantry Regiment, Hohenfels, Germany.
04. Sgt. David K. Cooper, 25, of Williamsburg, Ky., died Aug. 27 in Baghdad, of wounds suffered in Qadasiyah, Iraq, when his dismounted patrol came under small arms fire. He was assigned to Forward Support Company, 4th Battalion, 42nd Field Artillery, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.
05. Spc. Michael L. Gonzalez, 20, of Spotswood, N.J., died Aug. 28 in Baghdad, of wounds suffered by an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 340th Military Police Company, Fort Totten, N.Y.
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq and Afghanistan. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Activities and Events of Interest - - Coming Events
~~~~~
Albemarle Fall Golf Tournament is Scheduled for Sept 20th.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
CQ CQ all Hams. We have restarted a 2 meter net on the Willisville repeater, 146.655, every Tuesday evening at 7 PM. Please check in and spread the word. We would like to get some renewed interest in amateur radio and the ARKLA Amateur Radio Association. Will be listening for everyone next Tuesday night.
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations..
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner-News through e-mail?
E-mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner-News.
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Luke 22:7-9 Psa 62:7-8 1 John 4:16-18 Lev 20:7-8,26 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat_q__.blogspot.com, where _ is the quarter (1, 2, 3, or 4) and __ is the year (05, 06, 07, or 08). We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at kc5hii@suddenlink.net and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2008 before it was sent.
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Bugs Bleat 3Q 08

Blog Archive

About Me

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Teenage Celebration - - Photos

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Teenage Celebration

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Teenage Celebration

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Teenage Celebration