Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Middle-Aged Barbie

Volume 10, Issue 37 Friday, September 12, 2008

Hello All,

We’re faced with many challenges this week. Weather, Health, Economy, Finances, War, but we’d be less than American if we didn’t remember September 11, 2001. 2,974 innocent people died due to the twisted hatred of a few sick terrorists.
In this season of political rhetoric, don’t forget. NEVER FORGET.
Whether you call yourself Democrat or Republican, Liberal, Conservative, or Libertarian, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim or Atheist, on 9.11, we all witnessed the contrast between those possessed by evil and those good, dedicated and caring human beings who are willing to sacrifice their lives in order to save the lives of others. It is these good, dedicated, caring people that we call hero.
Our enemy isn’t the other political party. Our enemy isn’t another religion. Our enemy sure isn’t the media or the ACLU. Our enemy is ignorance and hatred. When we were attacked, we met the worst of humanity with the best of humanity. Live a life worthy of their sacrifice. NEVER FORGET.

To the innocent victims whose lives were taken; To the heroes who gave their lives, YOU WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.

To the heroes who risked their lives; To the heroes who gave their lives; To all the medical people who mobilized to help (including to the AR-1 DMAT team members who went to ground zero to treat the survivors and ended up treating the recovery workers); To the Ironworkers who joined the search; To ALL who volunteered: THANK YOU

[http://www.gcfl.net/911] 9/11 Heroes [http://www.gcfl.net/911/heroes.php]
~~~~~
IKE is coming. Four local members of the Arkansas Disaster Medical Assistance Team, AR-1, have been deployed in response to Hurricane Gustav and Hurricane Ike. John Burge has been tasked to the Planning Division at the FEMA/HHS/Texas Command Post in Austin, Texas. John is working with local, state and federal response leaders to plan the response to Hurricane Ike. Ricky and Sarah Shepherd were working in Little Rock as "Patient Advocates" assisting residents of South Louisiana who were transferred to Little Rock in anticipation of Hurricane Gustav landfall. However, late today they, along with the rest of their AR-1 Patient Advocate crew moved down to Dallas in anticipation of IKE. Steve Savoy was working in Little Rock loading supplies in anticipation of Hurricane Ike's landfall. Steve and several other AR-1 logistics team members moved to Austin, Texas earlier this week where their expertise will help ensure that needed supplies and equipment are dispatched promptly in response to the storm.
John Burge reported this evening; "Everyone has been impressed with AR-1's work ethic and the word is we are the "shizzzzle". I saw a live feed about 4 hrs ago and there were kids playing on the 17 foot tall sea-wall at Galveston and the waves were breaking over the top of the wall and looked 5-6 feet taller than the kids. A couple got knocked down and almost swept back off the wall into the water. Where are their parents?? Pray for those in harm’s way and that the fatalities are low! We look like we will be safe here and sheltering in place in Austin. Winds of 60+ are expected so losing power is a concern for us. Tornados are our biggest worry here. "
~~~~~
Ricky Shepherd sent us this report on the “Patient Advocate Team.” “As a team of 16, we saw close to 250 patients in Little Rock that were federally evacuated from south Louisiana and listened to their concerns about getting back home. As an advocate, we supplied a FEMA number that would assist them in getting a flight or ambulance ride back home. Ninety percent of these folks are ambulatory, so they have special needs. Friday, after working with these patients in Arkansas, we left Little Rock for Dallas. We waited out Hurricane Ike and as soon as we have the orders, we will descend into Austin. There are many Gustav patients there and it looks like there will be many Ike patients soon.
The Patient Advocacy Team we are on is the first team of its sort. We are setting the standard for all future deployments. So we are starting from scratch and having to scramble sometimes for supplies, But that is what LOGS are trained to do. Remember us in your prayers. Rick”
~~~~~
Vanessa reports severe flooding in St. Tammany Parish with some homes underwater. However her family is fine. Meanwhile, we wait on IKEs approach here in Magnolia.
~~~~~
Major chemical makers, including Dow Chemical Co. and DuPont Co., were shutting down plants along the Gulf Coast in preparation for Hurricane Ike. The closures come just as the companies were restarting facilities in Louisiana that were closed because of Hurricane Gustav. DuPont said it was closing nine sites that could be affected by Ike, and German chemical maker BASF was closing six facilities.
~~~~~
The Magic Generator

Many of your readers know Don Finely. Just before Hurricane Katrina hit South Louisiana, Don had the fortune of moving to Houston. His stuff, however, was still in Louisiana. So after the storm passed and we lost power, I went to his house (with his permission) and borrowed his generator. Since he hadn't used it since the Magnolia ice storm a few years earlier, it took me a while to get it started. Once I did, my power came on immediately. A month later, as Hurricane Rita was approaching, I got the generator again and made sure it would start before the storm hit. My power never went out.

Now that Don has all his stuff in Texas, I was on my own for Hurricane Gustav. After 4 days without power and no end in sight, I finally gave in and got in line to buy a generator. And then got in line to buy gas. Thursday evening, I got the generator started and we slept very nicely with a couple of fans. Friday, just after noon, as we were settling in for another month without power, the lights came on. Saturday morning, I took the generator to a friend who still didn't have power, and Saturday evening his lights came on.

So, the next time it looks like you will be without electricity, give me a ring. I'll bring my "magic generator" over and you could be back on-line before you know it. Maybe.

Same thing for drought - if you need rain, call me. I'll come set up my tent and camp in your yard. You'll get some rain - everywhere else I've ever gone camping, it's rained. Maybe it'll work for you, too.

Thanks to Joe Tudor
~~~~~
Meanwhile If y'all don't have this website, check it out. Tex Miller sent it to me. The best hurricane site I've seen. - - [http://web.tampabay.rr.com/wolfy/] And another good one [http://www.stormpulse.com/]
~~~~~
The Columbia County Fair and Livestock Show starts Monday, Sept. 15
~~~~~
Central Arkansas Veterans Health Care System is looking for 15 day volunteers to drive the day van to the VA Medical Center. Call John Mack, 904-6372; Elme Followell, 904-0711; or Joe McIntyre, 904-2834.
~~~~~
DoD announced that the Military OneSource service has established a Wounded Warrior Resource Center telephone number and e-mail address for service members and their families, if they have concerns or other difficulties during their recovery process.
Service members and their family members can now call (800) 342-9647 or e-mail wwrc@militaryonesource.com 24/7 to request support. Assistance provided by the resource center will not replace the specialized wounded warrior programs established by each of the military services, but it will offer another avenue of assistance for military facilities, health care services, and/or benefits information.
~~~~~
Former Magnolia resident, Mindy Phillips Lawrence, set to release new Poetry Collection

[Springfield, MO] September 8, 2008 – Mindy Phillips Lawrence, formerly of Magnolia, Arkansas, has a new poetry chapbook, Above and Below, ready for release from Thinking Stone Press. It deals with spirituality, longing, dedication, sensuality, finality and introspection. She is also the author of the poetry collection One Blue Star: Poetry about the Military, Families, War and Peace and co-author of The Complete Writer: Tapping Your Full Potential, both published by Red Engine Press (www.redenginepress.com).

Lawrence is also working on a nonfiction book called Using Art to Promote Your Writing. Her concept for the book won an honorable mention in the 2008 Out of the Box Promotion Idea Contest for Writers sponsored by TRI Studio LLC and Authors’ Coalition. The ebook containing the winners is available for download and distribution at www.tri-studio.com/outofthebox.html.

Lawrence holds a Bachelors of Secondary Education from Southern Arkansas University in Magnolia, Arkansas with a specialization in art and minors in English and library science. She has had work published in Writers’ Digest magazine and a poem from her first collection performed by That Uppity Theatre Company in St. Louis, Missouri. In 2006, she was one of five women writers from Missouri interviewed by National Public Radio’s Melissa Block for “All Things Considered” about the upcoming Presidential election. She also speaks to writing groups.

When she is not writing, Lawrence is a Workforce Development Specialist for the State of Missouri and the publicist and author representative for Dr. Dan Skelton, a former English and theater professor at Southern Arkansas University in Magnolia. She also enjoys painting, calligraphy and taking hot-air balloon rides.

For more information on Mindy Phillips Lawrence or to schedule her for a speaking engagement, book signing or workshop, contact MPL Creative Resources at mplcreative1@aol.com with [Query – Lawrence] in the subject line. A full media kit and photos are available upon request.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] when you search the Internet!
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - Oprah's Former Chef Is Making A Difference - - Art Smith has been chef to the stars, has his own restaurant, and two cookbooks. But the thing that really makes his heart go, "Zing!" is teaching kids about cooking and cultures they've never seen.. - - [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/charity/stories/ch_080912_oprahschef.html]
~~~~~
The autumnal equinox is Monday, Sept. 22.
~~~~~
The Lighthouse Church - - http://thelighthousechurch.publishpath.com/
~~~~~
Staff Sgt. Nick Bradley’s address at Walter Reed Medical Center, courtesy of his parents:
Bradley, Staff, Sgt. Nick B
WD 57 RM 41
6900 Georgia Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20307
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Frederick Rowell
Hometown: Pensacola, FL
Awarded: Silver Star, Bronze Star in Valor

Sergeant First Class Frederick Rowell of the United States Army was deployed to Iraq for two tours, both of which took place during some of the most pivotal moments of that ongoing campaign, and both times he distinguished himself with valor and heroism.

In the “blitzkrieg” invasion of Iraq, then-Sergeant Rowell was involved in the critical fight for the Baghdad International Airport. April 4, 2003 was the first great test of this young non-commissioned officer’s dedication to his fellow soldiers. After dismounting its Bradley fighting vehicle, Rowell’s unit came under heavy automatic and rocket-propelled grenade fire. After assessing the severity of the fire, Rowell covered his comrades as they fell back to their Bradley when he noticed another squad was pinned down far from cover and taking heavy fire. Once his own squad was in the relative safety of its armored vehicle, Rowell did not hesitate to act.

Charging across open terrain under the aim of Iraqi forces, Rowell arrived at the scene of the isolated squad to find it without leadership and one soldier severely injured. Rowell sprang into action, laying down cover fire and applying first aid to the injured private. As the enemy attack became more focused and more intense, Rowell threw himself on top of the soldier, using his own body as a shield while a rescue vehicle closed in on their beleaguered position. Rowell took a direct hit from an AK-47 round in his back, luckily stopped by his body armor – a round that would have almost certainly killed the private under Rowell. With the evacuation vehicle blocked from coming any closer, Rowell hoisted the wounded private onto his back and ran some 100 meters to save the injured soldier.

With the “Surge” operations intensifying in Iraq in September of 2007, Rowell, now a Staff Sergeant, was in charge of a squad on a scouting mission to observe insurgent activity in a volatile part of Baghdad. His squad – split into two observation posts in two buildings – came under fire from multiple directions.

As enemy fire poured in on them, Rowell planned to move his team to the other observation post, but as the first soldier was severely injured by an IED as he stepped out of the door. Rowell was knocked unconscious by the blast, but regained his focus – despite being later diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury – and rose to his feet, running to the aid of his comrade. Under heavy fire, Rowell pulled the man back into the building and defended him from the numerous attackers. With a group of Stryker combat vehicles arriving on the scene, Rowell helped evacuate the wounded soldier, directed the reinforcements to the enemy positions. On the way out of the kill-zone, Rowell manned the roof gun on the Stryker as they evacuated the injured to a combat hospital.

In these two events, Rowell’s heroism was undeniable. By ignoring his own safety and using his body as a shield to protect a wounded soldier in 2003, he earned the Silver Star. For coming to the aid of another wounded soldier and displaying steadfast courage under harrowing fire in 2007, he earned the Bronze Star Medal with Valor.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings from Afghanistan,

The Brits led a large mission this week that was extremely successful, and against the odds. Score one for the good guys. Afghans, Americans, Aussies, Canadians, and others also performed critical tasks in the mission.

Please Click [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/] to read!
~
Please stay tuned for "Death in the Corn," a fascinating 3-part series about British forces in Afghanistan. These dispatches will be published beginning in the next few days.

Meanwhile, please consider supporting soldiers in Iraq by clicking [http://yhst-80051593642880.stores.yahoo.net/donate-books-to-soldiers-in-iraq.html].

V/R, Your correspondent,
Michael

Http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php
~~~~~
Last week we watched [Ratings are my own]:
The Prestige (2006) [7.4] Starring Hugh Jackman ... Christian Bale ... Michael Caine
Drillbit Taylor (2008) [6.5] Starring Nate Hartley ... Troy Gentile ... Ian Roberts ... Owen Wilson
Dark Passage (1947) [7.5] Starring Humphrey Bogart ... Lauren Bacall ... Bruce Bennett ... Agnes Moorehead
Midnight (1939) [8.0] Starring Claudette Colbert ... Don Ameche ... John Barrymore
Stranger than Fiction (2006) [7.0] Starring Will Ferrell ... Emma Thompson ... Queen Latifah ... Dustin Hoffman
Easy Living (1937) [8.5] Starring Jean Arthur ... Edward Arnold ... Ray Milland ... Mary Nash
~~~~~
Last week we read; Fidelity / Thomas Perry and Deep Black Conspiracy / Stephen Coonts
We’re currently reading; Death & Honor / W.E.B. Griffin
We intend to read; The way of the world : a story of truth and hope in an age of extremism / Ron Suskind.
We recommend: Jungle rules : a true story of Marine justice in Vietnam / Charles W. Henderson.
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com/BugsBleat/shelf?ec=7D790D174EFS18012
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include Sugar soaking up the sun and Jules hooking Annette’s computer to our network.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat2q08.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see more photos of April’s train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Dr. Pat Antoon’s Address:
Pat Antoon 06669-010
Federal Prison Camp
P.O. Box 9300
Texarkana, TX 75505
Be sure and keep him in your prayers.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - - Disaster Survival Recipes from [About.com] - - In case of a power shortage, you will want to make meals as quickly as possible to preserve your non-electric fuel. Oven-baked recipes converted to barbecue are usually not a good idea, unless you have large reserves of fuel and a tight-fitting cover on your grill. Choose quick recipes using canned or convenience foods from your own favorite recipe collection.

Vegetables canned in a liquid are excellent to have on hand in case of a water shortage, as the liquid can be used in place of fresh water in your recipe. A variety of herbs and spices, as well as salt, are a necessity to doctor up shelf-stable foods or for whatever new creations your fertile mind may devise. Salt is also a nutritional necessity.

Cooking oil will be needed for frying foods or making a roux to thicken sauces and stews. Olive oil will be fine unrefrigerated for a few months, indefinitely in cool weather. Jarred mayonnaise is shelf-stable. You might want to stock up on small jars that can be used quickly. Although it has preservatives, it will separate after opening if not refrigerated or kept on ice.

Flour and baking mix will last for up to 1 year on the shelf while sugar, salt, and honey are everlasting as long as they are properly stored in sealed packages or waterproof containers.

Pastas, rice, and dried legumes have long shelf lives, but if your water supply is limited, they will do you no good. Dry cereals can be eaten without milk or with canned juice as a snack or a meal on the run, a sure kid-pleaser. Pasteurized milk is now available in boxes which will keep in your cupboards up to 6 months and come in handy for making a quick sauce. Powdered and evaporated canned milk are further backups.

Dehydrated onions and mushrooms, along with canned vegetable juices, are great for soups, stews, and Dutch oven meals with the additional benefit of reducing the need for added salt due to the concentrated flavor. Dry soup bases and gravy mixes can also serve as a basis for soups and stews.

Canned meats and seafood can be used in cold or hot dishes. Processed cheese food and dry grated Parmesan and Romano cheeses are shelf-stable and can fill in for cheese flavor.
~~
Chicken Stir-Fried Ramen Recipe

Start with an inexpensive package of ramen noodle soup mix and end up with something close to gourmet! Recipe is easily multiplied. Use leftover cooked chicken or rotisserie chicken for even more flavor. Try seafood flavors with canned tuna or shrimp for a change of pace. Prep Time: 10 minutes - - Cook Time: 15 minutes

Ingredients:
1 (3-ounce) package chicken flavor ramen soup mix
½ cup chopped onion
1/4 cup sliced hearts of palm
1-1/2 Tablespoons olive oil
1 can cooked chunk chicken, drained
1/4 cup frozen baby sweet peas or mixed vegetables (you may also use canned)
Parmesan cheese
Chopped parsley for garnish

Preparation:
Cook the ramen noodles separately according to package directions, reserving the flavoring packet for use below. Drain and keep warm. If you use frozen peas or vegetables, you can cook them in with the noodles.

While cooking the noodles, sauté the onion and hearts of palm in a large frying pan until onion is soft. Add drained chicken chunks and heat until warmed through, taking care not to shred the chicken chunks. Stir in the contents of the ramen soup flavoring packet, and combine until mixed. Add the cooked, drained ramen noodles and peas. Toss until coated. Turn onto plates and top with grated Parmesan cheese and parsley.

Yield: 2 servings
~~
No-Bake Powerhouse Cookies Recipe

Oatmeal, peanut butter, nuts, and chocolate chips make an easy no-bake cookie for camping, hiking or at home. Prep Time: 15 minutes - - Cook Time: 10 minutes

Ingredients:
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup margarine
3 Tablespoons powdered milk
4 Tablespoons water
1 cup oatmeal
1 cup peanut butter
½ cup nuts
½ teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup chocolate or carob chips

Preparation:
These cookies are designed to be made in a camping or hiking environment, but work just as well at home.

Mix sugar, margarine, powdered milk, and water in a pan. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and boil 3 minutes. Stir constantly to prevent scorching. Remove from heat and stir in oatmeal, peanut butter, nuts, vanilla, and chocolate chips.

Drop by spoonfuls onto a flat surface such as pan lids. Let sit for about 10 minutes to set. In hot weather, they might not set as well.

Yield: about 20 to 24 cookies

Recipe Source: The NOLS Cookery by National Outdoor Leadership School (Stackpole Books)

http://homecooking.about.com/library/archive/blmisc67.htm
~~~~~
BreakPoint
Freedom from Freedom?
By Chuck Colson
9/12/2008
Atheism, Christianity, and September 11

Yesterday on “BreakPoint,” Mark Earley urged us to remember the 3,000 innocent victims of September 11 murdered by Islamist terrorists, and to be grateful for those who gave their lives to rescue others. The whole nation paused to do just that—everybody, that is, except the Freedom From Religion Foundation in Madison, Wisconsin. It spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on Tuesday for a full-page propaganda ad in the New York Times—an ad that blamed religion for the horrors of September 11.

The ad showed a picture of the New York City skyline, pre-September 11, complete with the twin towers. Beneath the picture ran the incredible caption: “One of the lessons of 9/11 is that there is no greater source of terrorism, strife, bloodshed, persecution, or war than religion.” And by “religion,” the ad’s writers left no doubt that they included Christianity, warning readers of the horrors of a potential Christian theocracy in America. In essence, the ad equated opposing gay rights with blowing up the World Trade Center.

But the ad did not stop there. “The history of Western civilization,” it said, “shows that most social and moral progress has been brought about by persons FREE FROM RELIGION.”

I don’t think the untold millions of Hitler’s Nazi Germany, Stalin’s Russia, and Mao’s China would agree with such gross stupidity—unless by “social progress,” the Freedom From Religion Foundation means innovations like Auschwitz, the Gulag, and World War II.

The truth is that out of a Christian worldview, which believes human life is sacred and freedom a gift of God, grew Western civilization itself, the only civilization that protects the fundamental rights of all human beings.

Just look at our own history. When the radical atheist mentions the Inquisition and witch trials, we can say without hesitation that the Christians who carried them out were wrong. We repent. But once you remind atheists of the results of godless totalitarianism during the 20th century alone, they are silent.

Or consider the battle to end slavery and the civil-rights movement in the 1960s. Christians were the driving force. Modern science itself developed in the West precisely because Christians knew that God was a God of reason and order: that in His creation, we could find “immutable laws at work.” Or even today, the great humanitarian causes: Trying to end the genocide in Darfur, ending sexual trafficking, stopping the spread of AIDS in Africa—all these causes are being led by Christians. And it is no coincidence that the concepts of democracy and freedom flourished and spread to the rest of the world in and through the Christian West.

The truth is that the only thing that stands in the way of dangerous Islamo-fascism is Christianity. It has preserved an amazing degree of freedom, even freedom to bash your own country and the faith of its people. If the Freedom From Religion Foundation wants to test that proposition, maybe it ought to go and try to run that same ad in any Muslim country. Good luck.

For Further Reading and Information
BreakPoint Commentary No. 080911, “Seven Years Later: How to Remember September 11.”
BreakPoint Commentary No. 061229, “The Victory of Reason: Christianity and the Triumph of the West.”
Gina Dalfonzo, “Remembering 9/11,” The Point, 11 September 2008.
Anne Morse, “Thoughts on Sept. 11,” The Point, 11 September 2008.
Lisa Loring, “Anti-Religion Group Places Ad in Today’s New York Times: Imagines a World Free from Religion,” Daily Kenoshan, 9 September 2008.
Julia Duin, “Sept. 11: The Other Side,” Washington Times Belief Blog, 11 September 2008.
E. J. Montini, “Billboards May Launch a Holy War of Words,” Arizona Republic, 9 September 2008.
Janet I. Tu, “Billboard Intended to Remind People that Religion’s Not for Everyone,” Seattle Times, 27 August 2008.

© 2008 Prison Fellowship - - http://www.breakpoint.org/
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
laudable: praiseworthy; commendable.
plaintive: expressive of sorrow or melancholy.
cosmopolite: a cosmopolitan person.
regale: to entertain with something that delights.
torrid: drying or scorching with heat; burning; parching.
evanescent: fleeting.
hoary: white or gray with age; hence, extremely old.
auspicious: favorable; also, prosperous; fortunate.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober." - William Butler Yeats

"Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five." - William Somerset Maugham

"The cemetery is filled with indispensable men." - Charles de Gaulle

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

"Men of ill judgment oft ignore the good that lies within their hands, till they have lost it." - Sophocles

"I have learned two lessons in my life: first, there are no sufficient literary, psychological, or historical answers to human tragedy, only moral ones. Second, just as despair can come to one another only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings." - Elie Wiesel

"A morning-glory at my window satisfies me more than the metaphysics of books." - Walt Whitman

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.'

'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

***URGENT PRAYER ALERT*** Residents in low-lying areas of Texas Coast told to GET OUT ahead of Hurricane Ike... evacuations in some areas being called a "life or death" situation.
Nine-Year-Old Kampala Boy Cannot Read but Preaches the Gospel
Remembering 9/11
Coast Guard Officer Calls Father's and Autistic Son's Rescue...
Jordin Sparks Stands Up for Purity...
Governor Palin's Pastor Asks Congregation to Pray for the Media...
Young Andrew's Miraculous Recovery after Massive Stroke

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: Middle-Aged Barbie

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Sheila) -Tom

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-----------------------------------------

The Barbie Doll was introduced in 1959. She has gone through several evolutions over the past 49 years. Now, at long last there are some NEW Barbie dolls, to coincide with her aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...

1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too)! Neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead! With handheld fan and tiny tissues.

3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow! Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too: muumuus with tummy support panels are included!

5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

6. No More Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. With minivan in robin’s egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Fred (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Comes with real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Baby Sister

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Gary) -Tom
-----------------------------------------

Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new baby sister. The parents sat him down and said that now that she was getting older, the house was too small and they'd have to move. "It's no use." Robbie said, "She's crawling good now and she'd probably just follow us."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Well-Dressed Professor

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Jim) -Tom
-----------------------------------------

The history professor in our very small town, was very concise, stiff and not very friendly to anyone, especially his students. He always dressed to perfection; hat, over coat, jacket, gloves, vest and tie.

One day he walked into the only Barber Shop in our town and began to remove his outer garments; his gloves, his top coat, his jacket, his vest, his tie, and finally his eye glasses. He sat down in the chair and the barber asked him what he wanted?

He replied very curtly that he wanted a haircut, and why else would he come into the barber shop and sit down in the chair?

"Well," the barber replied, "don't you think that you should remove your hat?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: A Day in Court

Emailed to me by a friend (Thank, Patricia) -Tom
-----------------------------------------

A woman was on trial for killing her husband. All the jurors but one voted to convict her. The one juror was so determined that the woman should be found innocent that she eventually was able to change the mind of all the others, and they all voted "not guilty."

Afterwards, the juror who had held out for the innocent vote was questioned by reporters, who asked her how she could have been so certain the woman on trial was innocent. She replied, "Well, I don't know. I guess I just felt sorry for her. After all, she is a widow."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: UK Parking Wardens

Emailed to me from another humor list (Bonehead of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Bonehead of the Day, send a blank email to:
BoneheadOfTheDayAward-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-----------------------------------------

Sometimes it seems that government employees in the UK will enforce every rule to its extreme, except for one, "use your head." Take parking enforcers ... please

1. Trucking ridiculous

It was a normal day for truck driver Michael Collins, who was on his way to collect a skip in London’s Belsize Park. But then, without warning, his truck lurched as the road beneath him collapsed. Unknown to Michael, a burst water main had caused the road to give way, creating a deep hole where the front wheels of his 17-ton truck became stuck.

While he was waiting for his lorry to be rescued, a passing parking attendant appeared. To the astonishment of nearby residents and despite Michael’s protests, she stood on tiptoe and whacked a parking ticket on the truck's windscreen, uttering the immortal words, "You can appeal."

2. Bad news comes in trees

If a tree fell on your car and you escaped death by mere inches, you might think that you would get some sympathy from your local council. Sadly, no such compassion was forthcoming when one family suffered just such a fate under the parking rules of Wychavon District Council

Nicky Clegg from Stoulton, near Pershore, was driving along the Bromwich Road with her 82-year-old mother and her 11-year-old son when without warning a tree crashed on her car. Miraculously they escaped death but the car ended up with a crushed bonnet (hood), smashed windscreen and broken wing mirrors.

Police dragged the wrecked car to the side of the road and told Nicky that it was fine to leave it there and she could pick it up the following day. But when Nicky came back the next day, she was astonished to find a parking ticket on the window.

3. Feeling run down?

Think that being badly injured is an excuse to park illegally? Think again. When Nadhim Zahawi of South London was thrown from his scooter and left lying in the road with a broken leg, a heartless warden from Lambeth Council slapped a £100 ticket on his bike.

4. Horse play

You leave your horse in the street and what do you expect to find when you get back? A small pile of manure perhaps, but not a parking ticket. Amazingly, however, this is exactly what happened to Robert McFarland, a retired blacksmith from Yorkshire when he left his trusty steed, Charlie Boy, for a few brief moments. On the ticket, the over-zealous warden had written the vehicle description as "brown horse."

5. Daylight robbery

It started off just like any other day for Fred Holt when he went to his local bank. But the ordinary day turned extraordinary when two masked men burst into the bank brandishing an axe and a machete. In the terrifying raid, the robbers held a young cashier hostage with an axe to her throat. Customers were forced to lie on the floor as staff were made to hand over cash.

If being a victim of this horrifying event wasn't bad enough, 77 year old Mr. Holt had parked his car nearby, and by the time he had given a statement to police officers, his car had been there for 20 minutes longer than allowed.

Mr. Holt was not worried because the police officers who interviewed him said that traffic wardens had been told about the raid and asked not to issue tickets. But when Mr. Holt got back to his car he was astounded to find a £30 parking ticket pinned to his windscreen ... the reason: overstaying his allowed time in the street.

6. Bloody ridiculous

"Do Something Amazing Today" runs the slogan of the National Blood Service. In Sutton, a traffic warden did just that, though not along the lines of "Save a life. Give Blood" that the advertisement intended.

For four years, a mobile National Blood Service truck has visited Sutton, parking at the same spot outside a group of offices, so volunteers can give blood. But seeing the good citizens of the town turn up and exchange a pint of the red stuff in return for a cup of tea and a biscuit was too much of a temptation for one parking attendant. Whilst those inside were giving blood, the parking attendant gave in his own unique way ... in the form of parking tickets.

Sutton council eventually waived the fine, saying the parking attendant had made a simple error of judgment. Or to put it more aptly, a rush of blood to the head.

7. Bus(ted)

Picture the situation. You’re a bus driver. You’re driving your bus. You see a queue of people waiting for you at a bus stop. You pull over to pick them up. So far, so good. But wait, not everyone wants to buy a ticket. This chap in the queue wants to give you one instead!

This was the extraordinary scene that greeted Manchester bus driver Chris O’Mahony, when he stopped his number 77 bus to let people on. He and his passengers looked on in absolute disbelief as the Manchester City Council parking attendant joined the queue to prepare the parking ticket, deposited the £40 notice and then walked away. The bus driver’s crime? Parking in a restricted area (the bus zone).

The attendant said he'd been told to issue tickets to buses that park. Manchester City Council bosses cancelled the ticket and ordered the warden to be retrained. Hopefully, as something other than a warden.

8. Heart attack

While David Holmes was driving along he felt chest pains. So he immediately drove himself to hospital. When he arrived he was forced to park on the road and was treated for a heart attack. A kind nurse left a note on the windscreen saying it was an emergency and that David's daughter would pick the car up later. Despite the note, a pitiless parking attendant slapped a parking ticket on David’s car.

Despite an appeal to the local council, the £40 fine was not cancelled.

9. Welcome to Warwickshire

Warwick is a beautiful part of England but it had no appeal for one man who received a parking ticket from the local Council.

Krister Nylander was dismayed to receive a parking ticket in the post (mail) for parking in Warwick. But he knew the parking ticket was wrong because he lives in Sweden and had not visited England since he was 16. The offending vehicle was his 20-ton snowmobile which had barely ever left his barn, let alone Sweden.

How did it get the ticket? We've absolutely no Idea.

10. Driving you crazy

Driving instructors are used to the trials and tribulations of teaching people to drive. Three point turns, as we all know, can be very tricky to learn. So spare a thought for the driving instructor who got a CCTV parking ticket when his pupil stalled whilst attempting a three-point turn and could not restart the car. The offence? Parking more than 50 centimeters from the curb.
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )______________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / All people smile \ /
\ _/ in the same language. \_ /
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The other day I broke 70. \ /
\ _/ Now that's a lot of golf clubs. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Do you realize that in about \ \_/ ////
\ / 40 years, we'll have thousands \ /
\ _/ of old ladies running around with \_ /
/ / tattoos and belly button rings? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / My next house will \ /
\ _/ have no kitchen --- \_ /
/ / just vending machines. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I used to think I was \ /
\ _/ indecisive, but now \_ /
/ / I'm not too sure. \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@kcbx.net |
| http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor |
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
If you or anyone you know well has been in the hospital recently, you probably can relate!

How's Norma

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital.
She timidly asked, 'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?'
The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help, dear.
What's the name and room number?'
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, 'Norma Findlay, Room 302.'
The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.'

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Oh, I have good news.
Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well.
Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal, and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.'
The grandmother said, 'Thank you.
That's wonderful! I was so worried!
God bless you for the good news.'
The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome.

Is Norma your daughter?'
The grandmother said, 'No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302.
No one tells me anything.

Thanks to Gary Foreman
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
SCARY!!!

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge.. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was Educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the Money back .... Same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail
I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free'. She Handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.

They Walk Among Us!
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!'. Someone looked up at the sky and said, 'Where'?

They Walk Among Us!
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the North?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for some time, she shook her head and said, 'Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff.'

They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us!
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'has your plane arrived yet?'

They Walk Among Us!
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'

They Walk Among Us, and they Reproduce, and Worst of all ............

THEY VOTE

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Nifty Advertising

Anesthesiologist's business card:
When you care enough to sleep with the very best.
**************************
In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'
**************************
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
**************************
At a Proctologist's door:
'To expedite your visit please back in.'
**************************
On a Plumber's truck:
'We repair what your husband fixed.'
**************************
On another Plumber's truck:
'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..'
**************************
On a Church's Billboard:
'7 days without God makes one weak.'
**************************
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
'Invite us to your next blowout.'
**************************
At a Towing company:
'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'
**************************
On an Electrician's truck:
'Let us remove your shorts.'
**************************
In a Nonsmoking Area:
'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'
**************************
On a Maternity Room door:
'Push. Push. Push.'
**************************
At an Optometrist's Office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'
**************************
On a Taxidermist's window:
'We really know our stuff.'
**************************
On a Fence:
'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'
**************************
At a Car Dealership:
'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'
**************************
Outside a Muffler Shop:
'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'
**************************
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'
**************************
At the Electric Company
'We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be.'
**************************
In a Restaurant window:
'Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.'
**************************
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'
**************************
At a Propane Filling Station:
'Thank heaven for little grills.'
**************************
And don't forget the sign at a
Chicago Radiator Shop:
'Best place in town to take a leak.'

Thanks to Gary Foreman
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Season Is Like Christmas

Number Ten: Decorating the house (with plywood).
Number Nine: Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season.
Number Eight: Last minute shopping in crowded stores.
Number Seven: Regular TV shows pre-empted for 'Specials'.
Number Six: Family coming to stay with you.
Number Five: Family and friends from out of stat e calling you.
Number Four: Buying food you don't normally buy . . . and in large quantities.
Number Three: Days off from work.
Number Two: Candles.
Number One reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas:
At some point you're probably going to have a tree in your house!

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
If Biblical Headlines were written by today's liberal media...

On Red Sea crossing:
WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists Killed

On David vs. Goliath:
HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock

On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:
FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed

On the birth of Christ:
HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple

On feeding the 5,000:
PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified Over Behavior

On healing the 10 lepers:
LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED
"Faith Healer" Causes Bankruptcy

On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:
MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer's Investment Lost

On raising Lazarus from the dead:
FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK
Will Reading to be Delayed

Received from Andy Maslin.

(-:][:-)

Boat Race

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready.

The Japanese won by a mile.

Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.

After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultants concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team. So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

Received from Dennis Sunde.

(-:][:-)

The Wayside Chapel

An English schoolteacher was in Switzerland and looking for a room to rent for when she would begin her teaching there the following fall. She asked the schoolmaster if he would recommend any. He took her to see several rooms, and when everything was settled she returned home to make final preparations for the move. When she arrived home, the thought suddenly occurred to her that she had not seen a Water Closet (toilet) around the place. She immediately wrote a note to the schoolmaster asking him if there was a "W.C." near the room.

The schoolmaster was a poor master of English so he asked the parish priest about the meaning of the letters "W.C." and the only solution they could come up with for the letters was "Wayside Chapel." The schoolmaster then wrote the following note to the English lady seeking a "W.C." with her room.

Dear Madam: I take great comfort in informing you that a "W.C." is situated nine miles from the house in the corner of a beautiful grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people, and it is open on Sundays and Thursdays only. As there are a great many people expected during the summer months, I would suggest that you come early, although there is usually plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation, particularly if you are in the habit of going regularly. You will no doubt be glad to hear that a good many bring their lunch and make a day of it, while others, who can't afford to go by car, arrive just in time. I would especially advise your ladyship to go on Thursdays when there is an organ accompanist. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in the "W.C." and it was there that she met her husband. I can remember the rush there was for seats. There were ten people to a seat usually reserved for one, and it was wonderful to see the expression on their faces.

The newest attraction is a bell, donated by a wealthy resident of the district, which rings every time a person enters. A Bazaar is to be held to raise money for plush seats for all, since the people believe it is a long felt want. My wife is rather delicate so she can't go regularly: it is almost a year since she went last. Naturally it pains her not to be able to go more often. I shall be delighted to reserve the best seat for you, if you wish, where you will be seen by all. For the children there is a special time so that they will not disturb the elders.

Hoping to have been of some service to you, I remain,

Sincerely,
The Schoolmaster

Received from PCD.

(-:][:-)

Car Warning

A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession, even to the grocery store, which was a few blocks from the house.

After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Forced Landing

A flight instructor was sent out to help a trainee who had radioed that he was about to make a forced landing a few miles from the base. The instructor spotted the plane standing in a field small enough to present a real challenge to his professional reputation.

With determination, full flaps and engine just above the stall, he maneuvered into the field. Climbing out, he shouted angrily to the trainee, "Just how did you manage to get into such a small field?"

"I landed in the big field over there," the trainee explained, "but in order to leave room for you, I had the farmer tow me here."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/madness/2008/09/04/dear-john-mccain-thank-you-thank-you-thank-you/ - - Dear John McCain: Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!
Dear John McCain:

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Why am I, a liberal feminist, thanking you with such enthusiasm? Because by naming Sarah Palin to be your running mate, you’ve turned my life around.

I mean (and I say this with all due respect) I could have sworn that Ms. Palin was as unqualified to be Veep as I am. Maybe even less qualified, since I’m a lawyer and she isn’t.

But it turns out I was wrong. Why? Cuz she’s the Governor of Alaska, a state that’s really, really close to Russia.

And, as I’ve learned from you and your current wife, proximity equals expertise. Which means that Governor Palin’s already an expert on Russia. And anything else she needs to know in the foreign policy department she’ll absorb by osmosis, simply by hanging out near your knees.

Speaking selfishly (and who doesn’t?) here’s the coolest part of this whole osmosis thing: Without any additional schooling or training, I have the expertise to do a gazillion hard things I haven’t studied for even an hour. For instance:

1. Heart surgery. (A cardiac specialist lives two houses away, and we say “hi” at least twice a month.)

2. Gourmet cooking. (My home’s within three blocks of over two dozen great restaurants. From the smell alone, I’ve surely picked up culinary chops.)

3. Olympic swimming. (I live in Bayside. Need I say more?)

4. Podiatry. ( I know someone who knows someone who knows Dick Morris. Okay, maybe not podiatry … but certainly pedicures.)

I could go on forever, because osmosis has opened the doors to countless challenging professions. How many? I can’t count that high cuz I don’t know any mathematicians.

But I do want you to know how happy and grateful I am. In fact, I’m so excited, I’m having trouble deciding which high level profession to try out first.

Or maybe I should just wait for my future boss to come to me.

So thanks, Senator McCain. And please stay well … at least until that foreign policy osmosis thing kicks in for Ms. Palin and the pesky Axis of Evil.

Oh … and one more thing: Please keep me in mind if you ever need heart surgery.

http://www.madkane.com
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
At the University of Chicago Divinity School each year they have what is called 'Baptist Day.' On this day each one is to bring a lunch to be eaten outdoors in a grassy picnic area. Every 'Baptist Day' the school would invite one of the greatest minds to lecture in the theological education center.

One year they invited Dr. Paul Tillich. Dr. Tillich spoke for two and one-half hours proving that the resurrection of Jesus was false. He quoted scholar after scholar and book after book. He concluded that since there was no such thing as the historical resurrection the religious tradition of the church was groundless, emotional mumbo-jumbo, because it was based on a relationship with a risen Jesus, who, in fact never rose from the dead in any literal sense.

He then asked if there were any questions. After about 30 seconds, an old, dark skinned preacher with a head of short-cropped, woolly white hair stood up in the back of the auditorium. 'Docta Tillich, I got one question,' he said as all eyes turned toward him. He reached into his sack lunch and pulled out an apple and began eating it. 'Docta Tillich.. CRUNCH, MUNCH My question is a simple question,. CRUNCH, MUNCH... 'Now, I ain't never read them books you read..CRUNCH, MUNCH..' and I can't recite the Scriptures in the original Greek...CRUNCH, MUNCH ..' I don't know nothin' about Niebuhr and Heidegger... CRUNCH, MUNCH.... He finished the apple. 'All I wanna know is: This apple I just ate, . . was it bitter or sweet?

Dr Tillich paused for a moment and answered in exemplary scholarly fashion: 'I cannot possibly answer that question, for I haven't tasted your apple.' The white-haired preacher dropped the core of his apple into his crumpled paper bag, looked up at Dr. Tillich and said calmly, 'Neither have you tasted my Jesus.'

Thanks to David Lamb
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
How many zeros in a billion?
PLEASE READ CAREFULLY!!!
This is too true to be funny.

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of
putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.

A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government
is spending it. While this thought is still fresh in our brain... let's take a look at New Orleans
It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D) is presently asking Congress for 250 BILLION DOLLARS
to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number... what does it mean?

Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, and child)
you each get $516,528.
Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.
Or... if you are a family of four... your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington, D. C < HELLO! > Are all your calculators broken??

What happened? Can you spell 'politicians! '

And I still have to press '1' for English.

Thanks to Laurel J. Becnel, Sr.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Thought you might be interested in the EIGHT MISSING PRESIDENTS Who was the first President of the United States?

I'm sure that George Washington was your best guess. After all, no one else comes to mind.

But think back to your history books - The United States Declared its independence in 1776, yet Washington did not take office until April 30, 1789. So who was running the country during these initial years of this young country? It was the first eight U. S Presidents.

In fact, the first President of the United States was one John Hanson. I can hear you now - John who? John Hanson, the first President of the Unite States. Don't go checking the encyclopedia for this guy's name - he is one of those great men that are lost to history. If you're extremely lucky, you may actually find a brief mention of his name.

The new country was actually formed on March 1, 1781 with the adoption of The Articles of Confederation. This document was actually proposed on June 11, 1776, but not agreed upon by Congress until November 15, 1777. Maryland refused to sign this document until Virginia and New York ceded their western lands (Maryland was afraid that these states would gain too much power in the new government from such large amounts of land). Once the signing took place in 1781, a President was needed to run the country, so John Hanson was chosen unanimously by Congress (which included George Washington). In fact, all the other potential candidates refused to run against him, as he was a major player in the revolution and an extremely influential member of Congress.

As the first President, Hanson had quite the shoes to fill. No one had ever been President, and the role was poorly defined. His actions in office would set precedent for all future Presidents.

He took office just as the Revolutionary War ended. Almost immediately, the troops demanded to be paid. As would be expected, after any long war, there were no funds to meet the salaries. As a result, the soldiers threatened to overthrow the new government and put Washington on the throne as a monarch.

All the members of Congress ran for their lives, leaving Hanson as the only guy left running the government. He somehow managed to calm the troops down and hold the country together. If he had failed, the government would have fallen almost immediately and everyone would have been bowing to King Washington.

Hanson, as President, ordered all foreign troops off American soil, as well as the removal of all foreign flags. This was quite the feat, considering the fact that so many European countries had a stake in the United States since the days following Columbus. Hanson established the Great Seal of the United States, which all Presidents have since been required to use on all official documents. President Hanson also established the first Treasury Department, the firs t Secretary of War, and the first Foreign Affairs Department.

Lastly, he declared that the fourth Thursday of every November was to be Thanksgiving Day, which is still true today. The Articles of Confederation only allowed a President to serve a one year term during any three year period, so Hanson actually accomplished quite a bit in such little time.

Seven other presidents were elected after him:
1. Elias Boudinot (1782-83),
2. Thomas Mifflin (1783-84),
3. Richard Henry Lee (1784-85),
4. John Hancock (1785-86),
5. Nathan Gorm an (1786-87),
6. Arthur St. Clair (1787-88), and
7. Cyrus Griffin (1788-89) -
....all prior to Washington taking office.

So what happened? Why don't we hear about the first eight presidents? It's quite simple -- The Articles of Confederation didn't work well. The individual states had too much power and nothing could be agreed upon. A new doctrine needed to be written - something we know as the Constitution.

And that leads us to the end of our story. George Washington was definitely not the first President of the United States. He was the first President of the United States under the Constitution we follow today. And the first eight Presidents are forgotten in history.

YOU HAVE TO BE A LOVER OF HISTORY TO APPRECIATE THIS!! (It took 8 years to establish a successful government. You might just remember this when you hear that so little progress has been made during these last 3 years in establishing a Government in Iraq.)

There you are, another lesson in U.S. History and you may have learned something new today

Thanks to Greg McDaniel
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
The pastor in Bigfork, Montana, Hal Curtis, a friend of Sarah Palin's pastor in Wasilla, Alaska writes:

"Please pass along a prayer request for Sarah Palin and her church. The pastor is David Pepper and the church is Full Gospel Church of Wasilla, AK.

Three days before Governor Palin was announced by John McCain as his choice for VP, she came before her pastor to be anointed and prayed over for service to God. She didn't tell the church what was going on....just that she needed their prayer support.

During the mere days since the announcement, the pastor and the
church have been bombarded with questions from the media. They are trying to get the word out to Christians all over the nation to pray for God's protection of Sarah Palin and of their church. They suspect that the treatment of Jeremiah Wright will pale in comparison to what is coming their way as a conservative Christian body.

When the little Down's Syndrome baby of Todd and Sarah Palin was dedicated a few months ago, their statement to the congregation was 'This little boy is my pro-life statement.' According to David Pepper, Todd and Sarah are very strong in their faith in Jesus Christ and believe God has put them in this position to serve Him.

Let's remember to pray for Governor Palin and her family as they walk through this very trying time!

Thanks to Waneta
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Before you dismiss the fact that Sarah Palin is Commander of the Alaska National Guard consider this:

Alaska is the first line of defense in our missile interceptor defense system. The 49th Missile Defense Battalion of the Alaska National Guard is the unit that protects the entire nation from ballistic missile attacks. It's on permanent active duty, unlike other Guard units.

As governor of Alaska , Palin is briefed on highly classified military issues, homeland security, and counterterrorism. Her exposure to classified material may rival even Biden's and certainly by far exceeds Obama's.

She's also the commander in chief of the Alaska State Defense Force (ASDF), a federally recognized militia incorporated into Homeland Security's counterterrorism plans.

Palin is privy to military and intelligence secrets that are vital to the entire country's defense. Given Alaska 's proximity to Russia , she may have security clearances we don't even know about.

According to the Washington Post, she first met with McCain in February, but nobody ever found out. This is a woman used to keeping secrets. She can be entrusted with our national security, because she already is.

Thanks to Daphne Roberts
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Who Am I?

I am under 45 years old,
I love the outdoors,
I hunt,
I am a Republican reformer,
I have taken on the Republican Party establishment,
I have many children,
I have a spot on the national ticket as vice president with less than two years in the governor's office.
Did you guess?

I am Teddy Roosevelt in 1900

Thanks to Gary Foreman
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
| Safety from the Heart |
----------------------------------------------
September 9, 2008

Today's Safety From the Heart message is from Keith Black.
...........................................
Fire Safety
Tips: Reducing the Risk of Vehicle Fires
August 15, 2008

There were an estimated 278,000 vehicle fires in the United States in 2006, the lowest number since the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA) began tracking this information in 1980. According to its recently released research report -- U.S. Vehicle Fire Trends and Patterns -- these fires caused 490 civilian deaths, 1,200 civilian injuries and $1.3 billion in direct property damage. NFPA and AAA have joined together to urge the public to be aware of the risks associated with vehicle fires and highlight steps that can be taken to help prevent these fires from occurring.

"The number of vehicle fires is clearly moving in the right direction, reaching its lowest point in more than 20 years," said Lorraine Carli, NFPA's vice president of communications. "This report helps us learn why these fires happen, which types of fires are more likely to kill or injure people, and what people can do to reduce these types of fires even further."

Other key findings from the report:
Overall, vehicle fires accounted for 17 percent of the 1,602,000 fires reported to U.S. fire departments, 15 percent of all civilian deaths, 7 percent of all civilian fire injuries, and 12 percent of the nation's direct property that year.
Highway vehicle fires totaled an estimated 250,000 in 2006, which caused 445 civilian deaths, 1,075 civilian fire injuries and $982 million in direct property damage. From 1980 to 2006, these fires fell a cumulative 45 percent, and from 2005 to 2006 highway vehicle fires fell 3 percent. (The term highway describes the type of vehicle, not the location of the fire.)
Only 3 percent of the highway vehicle fires were caused by collisions or overturns, but these incidents caused 57 percent of the deaths.
From 2002 to 2005, 50 percent of the highway vehicle fires and 11 percent of the deaths were caused by some form of mechanical failure or malfunction, such as leaks or breaks, back fires or worn out parts. Electrical failures or malfunctions caused 24 percent of the highway vehicle fires.
The vast majority of vehicle fires and losses from 2002 to 2005 involved highway vehicles. Within these four years, highway vehicles were involved in 94 percent of the 307,000 vehicle fires reported annually, 90 percent of the 520 associated deaths, 88 percent of the 1,640 associated injuries, and 76 percent of the $1.3 billion in direct property damage reported per year.

Highway vehicle fires tend to be more common during the summer months. Fridays and Saturdays were the peak days.
At most risk of highway vehicle fire deaths are teens and young adults. Twenty-six percent of the people killed in highway vehicle fires were between the ages of 15 and 24; this age group also has the highest risk of vehicle fire injury. Older adults at least age 85 had the second highest risk of vehicle fire deaths between the years 2002 and 2005.

"Many vehicle fires are preventable, and it's vital to take steps to reduce your risk of experiencing one," said John Nielsen, director, AAA Approved Auto Repair Network "Half of highway vehicle fires are caused by a mechanical failure, which highlights the importance of proper vehicle maintenance. Motorists can help avoid vehicle fires by following manufacturer's maintenance schedules and having a comprehensive inspection of their vehicle at least once a year by a trained, professional technician."

To reduce the risk of a vehicle fire, AAA recommends that you: Have your vehicles inspected at least annually by a trained, professional technician. Watch for fluid leaks under vehicles, cracked or blistered hoses, or wiring that is loose, has exposed metal or has cracked insulation. Have any of these conditions inspected and repaired as soon as possible. Be alert to changes in the way your vehicle sounds when running, or to a visible plume of exhaust coming from the tailpipe. A louder than usual exhaust tone, smoke coming from the tailpipe or a backfiring exhaust could mean problems or damage to the high-temperature exhaust and emission control system on the vehicle. Have vehicles inspected and repaired as soon as possible if exhaust or emission control problems are suspected. Drive according to posted speed limits and other traffic rules. Remain alert to changing road conditions at all times.

To further reduce the risks associated with vehicle fires, it's important for motorists to know what to do -- and not do -- should their vehicle catch on fire. AAA advises motorists to remember three steps: stop, get out and call for help.

STOP – If possible, pull to the side of the road and turn off the ignition. Pulling to the side makes it possible for everyone to get out of the vehicle safely. Turn off the ignition to shut off the electric current and stop the flow of gasoline. Put the vehicle in park or set the emergency brake; you don't want the vehicle to move after your leave it. Keep the hood closed because more oxygen can make the fire larger.

GET OUT– Make sure everyone gets out of the vehicle. Then move at least 100 feet away. Keep traffic in mind and keep everyone together. There is not only danger from the fire, but also from other vehicles moving in the area.

CALL FOR HELP– Call 911 or the emergency number for your local fire department. Firefighters are specially trained to combat vehicle fires. Never return to the vehicle to attempt to fight the fire yourself. Vehicle fires can be tricky, even for firefighters.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 14, Number 3 -- 09 Sep 2008
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com
-----------------------------------------------------
TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Coolness Survey / Eyejot / SkyGuy / Scribd

In today's TOURBUS, I have a special invitation for 20-somethings to participate in a survey that's designed to capture the essence of online coolness. I want to learn from the standpoint of people in this age group, what makes a website cool? What turns you off? What specific online services are the most useful? How do you communicate? What cool new service do you WISH you could have on the Web?

And most importantly, I want to know... what geeky or annoying thing should be punishable by a strong electric shock? :-)

COOLNESS SURVEY - http://InternetTourbus.com/coolness.htm

Although this survey is designed for people in the 20-29 age bracket, you can still take the survey regardless of your age. I will report back here with a summary of the results for 20-somethings, and other age brackets too. Click the link above to begin the survey.

-----------------
More Cool Stuff
-----------------

EYEJOT - I didn't have to take a survey to see that Eyejot was cool. This nifty (and free) video email service is completely web based. If you have a browser and a webcam, that's all you need. With Eyejot you don't have to install any software, master complicated video editing tools or struggle with email attachments. And Eyejot doesn't care if you use Windows, Mac or Linux.

Eyejot records your video, stores it on the web, then shoots an email to your friend with the video link. The recipient can view your video message with a single click. Give it a try:

EYEJOT VIDEO EMAIL - http://www.eyejot.com

SKYGUY - Do you or your kids have questions about space or astronomy? Ask the SkyGuy! Tom Vilot from Boulder Colorado has created a very cool site that present answers to astronomy questions in high-quality, entertaining short videos. So if you've been wondering... Why are galaxies shaped like a swirl? What is a solstice? Or how many stars are out there? Ask the SkyGuy here:

THE SKY GUY - http://skyguy.com

SCRIBD - Apparently the Internet is running out of vowels - especially the letter E. Scribd is a classic Web 2.0 site with rounded corners, clever icons, lots of whitespace, a focus on collaboration, and no E's in it's name. Not sure why, but that's all the rage these days.

Anyway, Scribd is a cool service that makes it easy to share documents online. Scribd created iPaper, a document format built for the web, which allows you to embed a Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint or PDF document right into a web page. With iPaper, there's no need to launch an external viewer to view or interact with the document.

Scribd is also a library of user-generated information on a wide variety of topics. They claim to have over 17 billion words in their library, five times more than Wikipedia. Check it out here:

SCRIBD - http://www.scribd.com

-----------------------------------------------------
That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2008, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Be Smarter & Better Looking Than [-99.386605-] Percent of Users The Best of Everything - http://www.InternetTourbus.com/best.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Home - http://www.InternetTourbus.com
+---------------------------------------+
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.

Here are links to items posted on The Pump Handle over the past week:

** "Iraq veterans and Lou Gehrig's Disease" by revere High rates of ALS have been reported among Gulf War veterans. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/09/12/iraq-veterans-and-lou-gehrigs-disease/

** "Occupational Health News Roundup" by Liz Borkowski The Texas Supreme Court will re-hear a case to decide whether worksite owners who hire contractors have legal immunity when workers are injured; three Chinese coal mine disasters kill 42 people over four days; and suicide rates among Iraq combat veterans and doctors are alarming. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/09/11/occupational-health-news-roundup-81/

** "Future Physicians Call for Transparency in Global Pharmaceutical Policy" by Mary Carol Jennings Public health values and transparency are important for the progress of the U.S. role in fighting AIDS, tuberculosis, and malaria. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/09/11/future-physicians-call-for-transparency-in-global-pharmaceutical-policy/

** "Popcorn Lawsuits and a Weak Regulatory System" by Liz Borkowski A second consumer is suing microwave-popcorn companies over lung damage; the case highlights how poorly equipped our current regulatory system is to address hazards like Diacetyl. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/09/10/popcorn-lawsuits-and-a-weak-regulatory-system/

** "Carnival Time" Blog carnivals collect posts on aging, medicine, healthcare, the environment, and cancer. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/09/10/carnival-time/

** "Singles, Grand Slams, and Losing the War on Cancer" by Liz Borkowski The recent issues of Newsweek and TIME both carried sobering articles about the state of cancer research. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/09/09/losing-the-war-on-cancer/

** "David Michaels Speaks at Google" by Liz Borkowski David Michaels spoke to Google employees about Doubt is Their Product as part of the Authors@Google series. Videos of this and other public health-related talks are available online. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/09/08/david-michaels-speaks-at-google/

** "This happens. We live with that." by Christina Morgan A comment from a co-worker of Anthony Esposito, who was killed after falling 40 stories at a New York construction site, demonstrates the sorry state of workplace fall protection. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/09/08/this-happens/

** "Friday Blog Roundup" by Liz Borkowski Bloggers address food labeling, science in the presidential election, and why having insurance doesn't necessarily translate into getting the necessary care. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/09/05/friday-blog-roundup-91/
http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.

A Little Inspiration

Sometimes what many feel is a bad thing turns out to be inspirational. Although we could bring you all the what if's I wanted us all to take it for what it is. good people doing good things.

Thomas Strawbridge, 65 is An amazing man. Mr. Strawbridge started drywall workers' union in the early 1960s. He had to go Philadelphia to do it because, as a black man he was unable to do so in his home town at that time. Strawbridge stated,

"This was in the days before Dr. King," he said. "After I started the union in Philadelphia, I brought it back here to Harrisburg. There wasn't anything they could do to stop me then."
Mr. Stawbridge worked and owned a drywall company for 40 years. 65 years and Stawbridge was still hanging drywall and happy to do so when he was working on a foyer and fell 17 feet.
"I didn't lose consciousness. I tried to move but realized I couldn't move. The first words out of my mouth were, 'Thank you, Jesus.' Jesus saved me. "I probably will be in rehab for the rest of my life. I don't hope to walk again someday -- I will," he said. "As long as I have Christ in me, I will walk again."Strawbridge said.

Strawbridge's fourth and fifth vertebrae were broken, his spinal cord severely damaged and now paralyzed. This man is so awesome and an inspiration, Strawbridge volunteer in his local church and now they want to give back. His local church wants’ to make his home wheel chair accessible. They are looking for volunteers and donations. The Churches goal is to raise $50,000 and have been able to reach $1,500 at this time.

Good luck and we will keep you in our prayers!

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Sept. 4 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when their vehicle encountered an improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 66th Armor Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. Killed were:
01. Staff Sgt. Kenneth W. Mayne, 29, of Fort Benning, Ga.
02. Pfc. Bryan R. Thomas, 22, of Battle Creek, Mich.

03. Pvt. Jordan P. P. Thibeault, 22, of South Jordan, Utah, died Sept. 5 at Forward Operating Base Hammer, Iraq, of injuries sustained in a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 6th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Baumholder, Germany.

04. Pvt. Michael R. Dinterman, 18, of Littlestown, Pa., died Sept. 6 at Outpost Restrepo, Kunar Province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when he received enemy fire while on dismounted patrol. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 26th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

05. Pvt. Vincent C. Winston Jr., 22, of St. Louis, Mo., died Sept. 4 in Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when his vehicle encountered an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 2nd Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

06.. 1st Lt. Nicholas A. Madrazo, 25, of Bothell, Wash., died Sept. 9 while supporting combat operations in Parwan province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to Combat Logistics Regiment - 37, 3rd Marine Logistics Group, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Okinawa, Japan.

07. Capt. Jesse Melton III, 29, of Randallstown, Md., died Sept. 9 while supporting combat operations in Parwan province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to Headquarters Battery, 12th Marines, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Okinawa, Japan.
~
Missing WWII Soldier Is Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from World War II, have been identified and are being returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

He is Pvt. James W. Turner, U.S. Army, of Altus, Okla. He will be buried on Sept. 11 in Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C.

Representatives from the Army met with Turner’s next-of-kin to explain the recovery and identification process and to coordinate interment with military honors on behalf of the Secretary of the Army.

In November 1944, the 112th Infantry Regiment, 28th Infantry Division was attacking east through the Hürtgen Forest in an attempt to capture the German towns of Vossenack and Schmidt. On Nov. 4, the Germans counterattacked in what would become one of the longest running battles in U.S. history. Turner, a member of G Company, 112th Infantry Regiment, was reported missing in action near Vossenack on Nov. 9.

In 2005, a German citizen who was searching for wartime relics in the Hürtgen Forest, near Vossenack, found human remains and other items, including Turner’s military identification tag. The remains and items were turned over to the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) for further analysis.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC also used dental comparisons in the identification of Turner’s remains.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO web site at www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq and Afghanistan. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Activities and Events of Interest - - Coming Events
~~~~~
The Columbia County Fair and Livestock Show starts Monday.
~~~~~
The Village Deer Dog Festival begins Friday September 19 with a fish supper from 5-7 p.m. at the Village Community Center. Tickets are $10 for a plate for adults and $5 for children under age 12.
~~~~~
The Magnolia Junior Charity League Bargain Box will hold a $1 sack sale SATURDAY, September 20, 9:30 a.m. to noon.
~~~~~
Albemarle Fall Golf Tournament is Scheduled for Sept 20th.
~~~~~
The Village Deer Dog Festival resumes with a 6-8 a.m. homemade breakfast for $6. There will be crafts horn-, blowing contests, chicken/ dressing lunch for $8 beginning at 11 a.m. and a dog auction at 1 p.m.
~~~~~
Asbury United Methodist Church will have a fish fry SATURDAY, September 27, from 5-7 p.m. at the church located at 1300 E. University. Tickets are $10 a plate for adults and $5 a plate for children under age 12. To purchase tickets contact Ann Whitehead at 870-234-6722 or Paula Wooley at 870-596-2946.
~~~~~
Life Touch Hospice will have volunteer training from 5:30-8:30 p.m. Sept. 30, Oct. 2, 7, 9 and 14. All meals and materials will be provided. For more information call Life Touch , Hospice office at 234-9112 or Abby Cate at 866-378-0388.
~~~~~
The Family Readiness Group of the Arkansas Army National Guard will conduct a fundraiser, THURSDAY, October 2, 5-8 p.m. at Pizza Inn. For information , call Amanda Franks 904-9532. ,
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Scheduled Activities
~~~
CQ CQ all Hams. We have restarted a 2 meter net on the Willisville repeater, 146.655, every Tuesday evening at 7 PM. Please check in and spread the word. We would like to get some renewed interest in amateur radio and the ARKLA Amateur Radio Association. Will be listening for everyone next Tuesday night.
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Interested in getting in touch with the Banner-News through e-mail?
E-mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner-News.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
John 8:45-47 John 18:36 Psa 57:9-11 1 Cor 12:12-14,17-20 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat_q__.blogspot.com, where _ is the quarter (1, 2, 3, or 4) and __ is the year (05, 06, 07, or 08). We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at kc5hii@suddenlink.net and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2008 before it was sent.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>